I have a pretty good grasp of the English language. I fancy myself a bit of a writer. I even have the next Great American Novel stirring around in my brain. Has been there for 19 years, but I haven't worked on it in years. Let's just say the last draft is saved on one of those square hard discs that you used to put in a disc drive to give you an idea of how long it has been since I worked on a "story" of any kind.
I did write a rather charming tale called "Chicken Shit and Other Fowl Language" that a few of my close friends claim was entertaining. But then your close friends often will tell you they enjoy your singing and/or dancing too. It's the polite thing to do for sure.
But I definitely think I have a good enough grasp of the English language to apply for my next job. I've decided I can be a shampoo bottle description writer. I mean, have you read a bottle lately? What happened to "Lather, Rinse, Repeat"? Women's shampoo promises everything from hydration, detoxifying, freshening, awaking, blah blah blah... But the men's shampoo - namely AXE (which is a 3 letter word to all middle school teachers), now those go a little far in my mind.
Do men really believe that one trip to the shower, a little body wash and shampoo and women are going to be falling over themselves?
