Strength

Where do you turn and who do you turn to for strength? Where do you get help from when things just seem too much?  I'm so blessed to have an amazing network of family and friends that are like family who are always there for me.  They are always there with a hug, an "I love you" and prayers.  I lean on them, probably too much, but I hope they know that I am always a phone call or text away when they need me too.
I turn towards laughter. Funny youtube videos.  Memes on Pinterest.  Facebook pages of hilariousness.  Unfortunately, those are more like bandaids.  They raise my spirits.  But once the thoughts creep in, the worries take over and I'm right back where I started.
I love my quotes, my scripture, the prayers.  Sometimes it is a hunt to find one that fits but in the hunt you can find so many more that speak to you and hit issues that you didn't even know were bothering you.  There is so much strength, courage and guidance to be found in the Word.
I have a best friend who has been there for me for all the good and all the bad for as long as I can remember.  Literally knows every minute of my life and could tell stories that keep me wanting to stay on her good side.  HA!  But she has always been there for me and gets me like no one else ever has.  Ever.  I am so thankful for her.
Lastly, I am blessed to have a new best friend and future husband who is my rock and my guide through all things dark and murky.  He inspires me to be a better person and helps me let go of my worries and fears.  And believe me, that is a monumental task.  I like to cling to those worries and fears.  I know that I will never have to go through anything alone again.
One thing I've found is that it is easy to be kind and non judgmental when things are going your way.  But boy, when someone does you wrong or hurts you/your loved ones... it is really hard to forgive and keep your heart compassionate.  One of the hardest tasks on the planet is to forgive those who don't feel they have done anything wrong and don't want your forgiveness.  But I've read and I believe that it isn't for them that we forgive.  We forgive so that we don't become eaten up with hate.  It's one of the things that scares me the most.  Becoming a person with hate in her heart.

So I'll keep praying.  I'll keep turning to my friends and family for support and prayers.  I'll hold my best friend and Tim close and listen to their words of guidance and love that make it all seem possible.  And I'll listen and remember.

Our little herd

Our little herd:

So many times our family and friends tell me they can’t keep our horses straight.  I know!  It’s hard.  Especially when we have consistently had a collection of bays these last couple of years.  So I put together a little description of each along with the plans for 2017.  Trying not to jinx us as the plans for 2016 went out the window due to injuries.  So this is the tentative plan.  

Gettin’ Shameless:  2013 AQHA gelding out of This Principles Hot (Blazing Hot) by Gettin Impulsive (Impulsions).  Right now, the “old man” of the herd is Ace.  He’s 3.  Yeah, don’t ask me how it happened that the oldest and most broke horse of the group is Ace.  To be fair to “Crazy Ace” or “Brace Face Ace”, he is not the same horse he was last year.  People who meet him for the first time now comment on how quiet he is and how gentle and loving he is.  Still makes us chuckle.  He is loving, gentle and quiet now.  We aren’t sure why or what happened.  But so very thankful he is.  Libby has done a great job with him and they only are going to get better with more time.  Cannot wait to see these two in another year.  Most people comment on his pretty face and how striking his two eyes are, one blue and one brown. They are also surprised to hear that he is not a paint and we have been told to get him registered pinto, so that may be in his future yet.  Ace is scheduled to be Libby’s main horse for the show season again next year.  This will be their third year together and second as Libby’s main horse.

PS Hes Got the Goods: 2014 AQHA gelding out of First Kiss Ina Coupe (Custom Coupe) by PS Good Bars Kat (Zippos Mr Goodbar).  Coupe is the other “broke” horse of the herd at only 2.  He’s got a great start and the right disposition and we have the winter to work with him.  He is currently in training with Sara Gronski in Wisconsin.  While we miss him, we know he is getting some much needed training to help us be more successful.  He is to be my show horse this coming season.  We are very excited to have him in our herd as he is the one and only non bay in the group.  Coupe is a palomino roan which is kind of a rare color and a whole lot of fun if you ask us.  

Maid of Copper: 2015 ApHC filly out of Pretty Maid at Last by Magic’s Sorceror.  She is double Dreamfinder bred and also goes back to Mr Conclusion.  China was an impulse buy because we wanted another like our talented young mare, Maid Ya a Dream.  When Ellie was sidelined with an injury we were so thankful we had found and added China to the show string.  We have a slightly different approach to training youngsters and China has been started this fall for a few quick 10 minute rides several times a week.  When the snow flies she will get kicked out to think about it until spring.  She has an unflappable disposition and is quick to learn anything new we put in front of her.  I get so excited each time I pull her out as she learns something new every day and is so quiet.  On her sixth ride my hat flew off, hit her in the butt and fell to the ground.  She just kept loping along without a jump or a bobble.  I know older broke horses who wouldn’t have handled that as well.  We are excited to see her in the show ring next year.  It is undecided who will be showing her at this time.

Jamaican Double Dutch: 2016 POA colt (soon to be gelding) out of Dutch Black Beauty (RY Major Equity and Investor) by Jamaican Scotch (Scotch Bar Time).  Speaking of impulse buys, we heard this little guy by our old mare was going to be at the yearly POA sale.  We were unable to attend but crossed our fingers he wouldn’t sell and we would have a chance at him when we had the space and were ready.  We are beyond thrilled with our little man.  He’s sweet and fun, super quiet and fun for all to work with.  We hope to show him in yearling or pony halter next year and possibly get to a POA show for in hand trail and lunge line.

As you can see, we have an interesting countdown of horses.  Next year we will have a 4 year old, 3 year old, 2 year old and 1 year old to work with.  Not an old fart in the bunch.  It’s a good thing that Libby and I like a challenge and like to work.  

Kids in the car

I know I have a problem with wanting things clean and organized.  But being as I’m the one who usually does the cleaning and the organizing, I don’t think it is too much to ask that the children at least attempt to keep it that way?  I wish, as their mom, that I could go around the house leaving dishes, wrappers and dirty clothes and that they would come behind me throwing things away, washing my dishes and putting my clothes into the laundry.  

There was this video going around Facebook a month or so ago.  In it a couple was having an argument because the girlfriend felt the boyfriend did nothing.  He decides to let her in on a secret.  The first part is that they have a magical hamper.  Whatever dirty clothes you put into it, show up magically cleaned and folded the next day.  And they also had a magic table.  No matter how much crap you left on it, the next day it would be clean.  The video ends with the girlfriend gone and the boyfriend sure she fell into the magic table.  I laughed and laughed, not because Tim is that way.  But I’m quite sure my kids would believe it!  

The last time I cleaned the cars, and this was just interiors, it took me 3 hours.  I had to soak, scrub and scrape candy out of the door handles, cup holders and off the floor.  There may have been some under the breath mumbling and possible dire threats made to the children, their future children and their personal belongings.  There were so many wrappers I could have started a small fire.  I don’t mind cleaning up my own messes, but this was nasty.  

They were all cautioned to take better care of the vehicles.  They were reminded where the garbage containers were in both vehicles and told that I had better never find candy in the cupholders again.  Guess what I found in the car the other day?  Yeah.  I guess it’s time to enforce a new policy.  “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  

Halloween is over!

Halloween is finally over!  I hate to admit that it is my least favorite holiday and if I could completely skip it, I would.  Especially now that my kids aren’t even bringing me home bags of candy to hunt for the Almond Joy and Skittles in.  The only saving grace of Halloween is candy corn.  Oh and Scream Eggs since Cadbury finally wised up and realized that us addicts will still eat them even if the insides are green.  Why aren’t they including Cadbury eggs in every holiday?  Do they need ideas?  I can give suggestions.  Cadbury turkey eggs for Thanksgiving - bonus sized!  Cadbury Dream Eggs for Christmas - “While visions of Cadbury eggs danced in their heads”.  Cadbury Snowmen for January - bonus two sections!  Cadbury hearts for Valentine’s.  I can keep going, but you get the picture.  See, now I talked about candy and got off topic.

Halloween is FINALLY over!  No more creepy costumes or decorations.  No more scary movies - seriously, is the only good Halloween movie Hocus Pocus or is it just me?  And finally we can start talking about Christmas!  The best season of the year.  Tim may have found out about my obsession with Christmas when we moved.  I think that even after consolidating I was around 7 - 9 totes worth of decorations.  And between the two of us I think we have 4 Christmas trees in all sizes.  I might start decorating this weekend.  I’m even going to put up my village for the first time in forever - I finally have a place! And my snowman collection has a dedicated spot.  My grandma’s porcelain Christmas tree is going up and the nativity (all 3 of them) Is it any surprise I wanted a winter themed wedding?  

And Christmas carols, we need to start playing and listening to Christmas carols.  No time to waste.  Bring on “Winter Wonderland” to “Up on the Housetop”.  My Pandora is tuned and ready, my playlist is on my phone, maybe my new work out mix can even be Christmas themed…. So many favorites, too many to list them all.  I do have to say that it doesn’t get any better than “O Holy Night” - hope the new neighbors don’t complain about me belting that one out as I decorate.  

Is it too early to start baking?  I’ve been pinning cookie recipes for a year now.  They freeze well right? What are your favorite cookies?  I think this year I will be brave and try my grandma’s sour cream sugar cookies again.  A family and personal favorite.  What I wouldn’t give to have had a Norwegian relative though.  I’ve never learned how to make some favorites of mine like rosettes and krumkake.  Both might be a little out of my realm of expertise so I rely on bake sales to get my fix.  

Christmas movies.  I’m going to pick a favorite, “Elf”!  But so many good ones that I can’t wait to watch again, “Home Alone”, “Christmas With the Kranks”, “The Grinch”, I could go on and on.  I still love the old classics like Rudolph and Little Drummer Boy.  Those take me back to my childhood and cold winter nights in the big A-frame in the country and waiting for NBC or ABC to carry the holiday classics.  The new ones are good, but nothing beats “Frosty the Snowman”.

Gift giving.  I love shopping and buying gifts for my loved ones. I love trying to come up with the perfect gift that I think they will love.  I must be pretty great at it for Libby. Because all the gifts I have bought her that she has already found she has loved.  Like the book I bought her the other day.  As she dug through my bag and pulls it out going, “I’ve wanted this forever!”  I whip around and yell at her “That’s a Christmas gift!” and she giggles gleefully and says “Not anymore” (or something along those lines).  It’s her, every year….

Halloween is over, Thanksgiving is around the corner and Christmas is on the horizon!  Do you know how many shopping days until Christmas?

So Libby got her license

So Libby got her license.  Whoa.  The enormity of that and the finality of her being a licensed driver is setting in.  I’m not handling this, “Libby growing up” thing well at all.  She made some comments about senior portraits next year and I changed the subject.  She and Tim have been talking colleges and it is like he doesn’t even care about ME.  He is okay with her looking at school’s as far away as LACROSSE people!  That’s 45 minutes.  There are two perfectly good colleges just 30 minutes away.  In all seriousness, I almost got weepy just typing this so let’s move off of the fact that next year she graduates and just focus on the fact that she can drive a car.  By herself. I think she needs this in all the vehicles.

How do all you parents survive this?  Every time she leaves my heart leaves with her.  I know I can’t wrap her in bubble wrap, but… wait… I haven’t really tried that yet.  Maybe I can wrap her in bubble wrap?  Hmmmmm… (Change Jace to Libby and yeah- pretty accurate.)

Carter is also in driver’s training so we will have another teen driver soon.  He’s been sharing what he’s learning in driver’s training and small engines with Libby and I.  And basically, yeah, we know nothing.  I told him I could put windshield wiper fluid in.  He wasn’t even impressed.  Libby was pretty sure she can’t even do that, but did know that a car doesn’t need blinker fluid.  I told the story how I maybe ran a car out of water when I was a kid and my dad was furious as it did something to the motor?  And I was like, “How was I supposed to know it needed water?  What was I supposed to do?  Drive it to the river to get a drink?”  

I also admitted I don’t know how to change a tire.  I remember talking to a guy once about wanting a Town and Country with the Stow N Go.  He tried to talk me out of it because the spare tire was stored under the driver’s seat and was a pain in the butt to get to.  I still recall the incredulous look I gave him when I asked if I looked like the kind of person who has the foggiest idea how to change a tire.  

I do notice when my car makes even the slightest funny noise though.  I attribute it to many years of driving junk.  You learn to be wary of noises that equal sitting on the side of the road and waiting to be rescued.  But mechanics are notorious for giving you funny looks when you try to explain the “ssshhh ssshhhh” noise or the “barrrum, baripity, crunching” noise.  I don’t understand why?  And why is it that the damn vehicle never acts up when they test drive it?  It’s like they can sense my fear.  

Here’s hoping Libby is a little better about knowing and understanding cars and mechanics than I am.  But knowing how much of a clone she is, doubt it.  So here’s hoping her grandpa’s and future significant others keep taking care of her.