My hometown

My hometown.  My hometown is Harmony.  Yep, that's really the name.  Yep there is a corny story about how Harmony came to be.  And yep, I'm darn proud of my hometown.

I get asked all the time how I like St. Charles.  I LOVE St Charles.  Please don't get me wrong.  I love the people here, everyone has been so nice and welcoming.  I love the little grocery store and how friendly and helpful everyone is there - seriously, swing by Mike's and you'll see what I mean.  I love Good Sport and Del's breakfast buffet and Happy Family for some Chinese and even Jimmy's Pizza (although it is no Village Square).  I love the parks and haven't even discovered them all yet.  Tim and I took a walk through one I hadn't experienced yet that was so beautiful and fun for the kids too.  There are so many cute little houses and gorgeous big houses too.  I love walking and checking out all the places to see.  I love my workout center and all the little antique shops.  And let's not forget St. Charles Bakery. Oh My Goodness.  I need to not stop there because....

But no matter how long I live here, St. Charles will never be my hometown.  Yes, I feel like I'm coming home when I turn the corner to our little cul de sac.  Heck, when I cross under the overpass and see the water tower I feel like I'm home.   But there is nothing like the feeling of hitting the edge of Harmony and seeing that red stone sign, good old Heco and Hahn Lumber and knowing that comfortable feeling of being where everybody knows your name.  Or almost everyone.  And chances are you're related to half of the city in some way shape or form.

I am the fourth or fifth generation of Kiehne's to grow up in Harmony and is is a little sad to have left it behind.  While there are many days when I think about leaving my "extra" job at the Village Square behind (anyone who has waitresssed knows the kind of days I'm talking about), I do love having an excuse to make the drive "down south" and feel that sense of belonging like none other.

It seems like every time I happen to be in town I have people who ask me how the girls are, how we like St Charles, how the wedding plans are going, how my dad is doing, you name it.  People who aren't just being nosy, but who are genuinely curious and who genuinely care.  It is sometimes nice to have the anonymity of living here in St Charles where virtually no one knows your name.  But other times it is nice to literally walk down the street and know everyone you meet and get stuck in the grocery store sharing a story and a laugh with half of them.  It's all very Mayberry like and hard to explain to anyone who is from a bigger town.  Even one as "big" as St. Charles.

In Harmony we know where everyone lives and half the time we don't refer to it as their house because it is remembered as the person who lived there the longest.   That seems to be in classrooms too as I'm pretty sure the 3 years I was at the high school my classroom was always "Frank's old room".

We know what the specials are at which restaurants on which days and trust that they will stay the same.

We know that the Moo Mobile comes to the bank every June.

We know when the lutefisk dinner at the Lutheran church is, the meatball dinner at the Methodist church, etc... and we plan accordingly.

We readily accept that our new school colors are black, silver and teal and heartily support each and every one of our Falcons.  But we also still have a secret love for maroon and white and know all the words to the old school song, "Harmony High School hats off to thee.... to our colors true we shall ever be... (although there is some debate if it is colors or scholars)".

We love going to the old Elementary school (most of us still can't call it the Community Center) and looking up our parents and/or grandparents in the old Harmony High graduation compilations.

We look forward to the 4th of July as THE weekend of the year in Harmony.

We have walked/biked the trail so many times we know when to turn back before that big hill down becomes the big hill back.

We know that Hershberger, Yoder and Schwartzentruber are the common Amish names and we know where to tell tourists to go to buy baskets, furniture and honey.

We've visited Niagara Cave and know that you need to bring a sweatshirt and a good pair of shoes.

We paid $4 for a movie ticket and a couple dollars for a bucket of popcorn and thought we were in heaven when the movie started.

We remember when the local bar was a mini mall and before that a grocery store.

We remember the last time 52 was redone and think it may be time for the "Pray for me, I drive U.S. 52" bumper stickers to make a comeback.

I could go on, but I'll let others add some of their favorites in the comments.

Like I said, I love my life, my house, my family and my new town.  But my heart belongs in Harmony and I will always truly be home on Main Street.

To spray or not to spray...

So.  Today was kind of a big day.  I got my first ever spray tan.  Why you may ask?  Well... because the only time I am outside in the sun is when I am working in my yard or working or riding my horse, I am always in a racerback tank. So I have beyond interesting tan lines and umm.. a wedding coming up in less than a month.  What to do?  A girl could "lay out".  But this brings back too many memories of sun in, baby oil and sunburns that would rival any self respecting lobster tail being served at Joe's Crab Shack.  Plus, what self respecting mom has time to lay out.  The whole time I would be thinking about what needed cleaning and what I had left to do.  So that was out.

I tried those sunless tanning lotions and that kind of worked, but it was so hard to reach that spot between my shoulder blades.  Like impossible hard.  So that wasn't going to work.  I searched for tank tops that didn't have racer backs, but every self respecting sports bra for these sisters still does so that didn't help much.

What's a bride to do?  I contacted my maid of honor and she had the name,  number and recommendation for a spray tan location.  Mind you, she hadn't been, but had heard good things.  So I volunteered myself and immediately started having flashbacks to the episode of Friends where Ross gets a spray tan.  If you haven't watched, please take a moment....

Friends episode: Ross gets a spray tan

So, being me, of course I asked the gal if she had ever seen "the" episode of Friends.  And she laughed and quoted a few lines which of course led me to realize that I have found my soulmate.  And helped eliminate a lot of my nervousness because...brace yourself... contrary to what you see in that very special episode of Friends, this is not a booth with no one else in it.  The people actually spray you  By hand.  In person.  That was freaking me out.

Now, I've had two kids.  And with Libby and her 29 1/2 hours of labor (Yes Libby - I do have to bring that up and complain about it yes again), I saw every nurse, doctor and nurse in training that OMC had to offer at that time.  And in a lot more compromising positions that just getting a spray tan.  But... I was still freaking out.  Of course the gal doing my spray tan was young, fit and quite good looking.  And here I was, middle aged mom with a belly and a host of scars, well everywhere.  What a woman won't do for beauty right?

So after I got the low down on scrubbing and rubbing the exfoliator off and properly disrobed and entered the booth, I was ready as I would ever be.  As she was spraying me, I can't lie.  I got the giggles.  And it took so much self control not to burst out giggling.  I was picturing the conversation that my bestie and I would have had if I had been able to drag her along.  There were different positions she wanted to hold my hands, arms and legs and I couldn't help but feel that I was doing some kind of weird spray tan cheer routine.  Jazz hands!

After two light coats, picture spray painting a car, I was ready for blotting and then able to get dressed and get the run down on what not to do if I didn't want to look like a blotchy monster.  Been a long day of trying not to touch my arms, let my legs touch or stick to anything and trying not to sweat.  But so far I'm really happy with how it turned out.  We will see how horrific those tan lines look later.  But the good news is that this red head isn't burnt and still looks less like the glowing white girl with freckles and zinc oxide on her nose.  For a trial run, I'm going to count this a success.

It's Grandparent time too.

Last Thursday I said goodbye to my littlest, knowing I was dropping her off to be gone for nearly 2 weeks.    Wow.  That sucks and the second time this year I've had to do that.  Sigh.  But you know what the really great thing is?  The reason I had to say goodbye is because she is spending extended vacations with her grandparents.  This past January she got to spend two weeks with my parents in Mexico.  This week she is headed "up North" with her dad's side.  What greater reason to spend the next 12 days missing her like crazy?

I love that my baby girl (and oldest if she didn't have previous commitments) gets to spend time with her grandparents.  I appreciate every minute that that the girls' grandparents and aunts and uncles spend with them.  Extended family and their support has been a life saver in all of our lives.  It thrills me to no end that both Shannon and I allow these experiences for the girls.  They are only young once and they deserve to have all of the chances given to them to enjoy all of their family.  It isn't always easy to get each other to see that.  But as they say, if something is worth fighting for...

It does make me angry and frustrates me to no end that some parents don't get it.  They get into this fight of "my time" and "your time" and trading weekends and days.  I will never get that.  When will people see that it isn't your time, it's their time.  And they should get to spend time with their extended family.  They should get to spend time with their friends.  They should get to go to camps and sleepovers and games without being given a guilt trip or being told that it isn't fair because it is "my time".

I'm super blessed that my girls have such active and involved grandparents and such a large pool of aunts, uncles and cousins who love them as much as I do.  I will always do my best to make sure nothing stands in the way of that!

And... only 7 more days until Soph comes home!

Guilty Pleasures - My Top Ten

The other morning I was listening to the radio on the way to work and the DJs were discussing guilty pleasures.  They had a list of the top movies that people considered guilty pleasures and were asking callers to guess the top three.  The grand reveal listed Mama Mia at number 3, Dumb and Dumber at number 2 and Legally Blonde at number one.  I was trying to think of a movie that I could list as a guilty pleasure.  Which led me to ask myself what a guilty pleasure even truly is.  Google says: “something, such as a movie, television program, or piece of music, that one enjoys despite feeling that it is not generally held in high regard.”  Hmm…

What movies are your guilty pleasures?  I don’t know if I have many.  Most of the movies I love, my bestie loves too so they must be held in high regard?  Maybe not critically acclaimed though.  In fact, I can honestly say that if a movie wins awards it is almost guaranteed to be one I will skip watching.  According to some research I have done, Bring It On falls in the guilty pleasure category and I loved that movie.  And I’m sorry, but why is Hocus Pocus on that list?  That is an amazing movie.  Lastly, apparently I have to include The Mummy series on my guilty pleasure list.  Everyone doesn’t love The Mummy?  What?

After hearing everyone’s guesses the DJ’s decided to move the discussion into other guilty pleasures.  And it got me thinking…

My guilty pleasures are a vast list apparently.  Apparently guilty pleasures are things that you enjoy doing, but not really what you should be doing.  I like to think that “should” has a loose definition.  I mean, after all, who decides what we should be doing?  Society?  My family?  God?  I’m pretty sure that God is a little too busy to worry about whether I slept in on a Saturday or not so I guess society it is.  

Anyway, here’s the list - in no particular order…

1. Sleeping in/naps - I so rarely get to sleep past 5:30 and typically try to be up and working out by 4:15, that my idea of sleeping in is probably different than most.  But I cannot wait for summer days and the prospect of laying around in bed until 8:00.  I will be awake, but lying there and not having to get going sounds fabulous. And naps, I’m not talking about 15 minute dozing. I’m talking about blanket, pillow, half hour - hour long naps.  LOVE!
   

   
2. Pizza and candy and ice cream - I struggle and fight and battle to get my kids to eat healthier.  Especially the sugar.  They want sugar for everything.  Sugar cereal for breakfast (who adds sugar to Raisin Bran or Frosted Flakes for Pete’s sake) and sugary snacks and sugary treats.  I fight like heck to limit or remove those from the house.  No pop in the fridge, just water or milk, etc…  But it is all of our downfall and we do enjoy it so much.  I think this is a battle we will be fighting until the end of time.  

My all time favorite food is pizza.  So many wonderful ways to eat pizza.  People say you would get sick of a food if you had to eat it every day.  Not so, not me, not pizza.  For one thing, there are a lot of different ways to enjoy pizza.  No need to settle for just one. So yes, even though I know it is loaded with carbs and calories - I never say no to pizza.

3. Fantasizing - I love to imagine what I would do if I won the lottery.  Or imagine if I bought this barn, what would I do to fix it up.  Or that restaurant, what would I do if it were mine.  I’m a dreamer that way.  Sometimes I will drive by a place and completely redesign it in my mind by the time I get to where I’m supposed to be going.
4. Crap novels and teen fiction.  I love them all.  There is nothing classical or award winning about most of the books that I enjoy reading.  I enjoy aliens and fantasy and witches, wizards, fairies, you name it.  I enjoy teen romance and ridiculously simple plots.  I enjoyed House of Night.  I enjoyed Fifty Shades of Gray, I enjoyed Twilight, I enjoy most historical romance (smut).  And I am not sorry.  I could not be reading at all.  Better to read a ton of crap than nothing at all.  That’s my theory.  And yes - I am a reading teacher.  
5. Yahtzee with Friends - lots of people have their favorite online game.  Mine just happens to be Yahtzee.
6. Pinterest - I love to surf through Pinterest.  So many wonderful things to learn about and see.  I look up everything from recipes to crafts to quotes to jokes.  Always something to look at on Pinterest.  
   

   
7. Criminal Minds - I am absolutely head over heels for this show.  I don’t know who it was that recommended it to me, but I owe them a hug and a kiss.  The only downside is that Tim is not a fan.  So I do feel a little guilty when I obsessively watch it every night.  But only a very little bit.  
8. Cookie dough - So everyone is super excited about the new “edible” cookie dough trucks.  Here’s a big secret - I already knew how to make edible cookie dough.  It’s called the same dough I’ve always made and I guess I just live on the “edge” of danger.  I have tried some eggless recipes.  They are pretty darn good too.  And we tried different mix ins.  And we …  yeah, let’s refer to the sugar addiction mentioned in #2.  Must set a better example!
   

   
9. Wine - I enjoy a nice glass of wine.  Not every night.  Not every week.  But from time to time it is a nice treat. I don’t spend much on my wine and I don’t over indulge, but there is something incredibly grown up and relaxing about good (cheap) wine and a good book (or movie).  
   

   
10. Home alone - I know and you know that my family is my life.  But one of my biggest guilty pleasures is having the house to myself.  I don’t like it if it is for too long, or too late at night (things go bump in the night - I need people to protect me), but I do love an hour or two here or there to just have peace, quiet and the house to myself.  

Okay - those are my top ten.  If you’re feeling brave - share yours!  Or at least agree with one of mine.  I can’t be the only one.

Copy and Paste, or else...

Climbs up on her soapbox.  Adjusts microphone.  Leans on podium.  Stares blankly into the crowd….

Facebook has a lot of very good qualities.  There are a lot of reasons why I love Facebook.  But there are a few things that are guaranteed to set me off and cause me to either shut it off or have a little vent off.  

One of my biggest pet peeves are the “copy and paste” or else statuses.   This is the most recent one that caused me to lose my cool “I would like to see five of my contacts copy and post this message (not sharing) the goal is to show that you are always there if someone needs to talk. And I think I know who will do that…”   Oh really.  So me, copying and pasting something to my Facebook status proves that I will always be there if someone needs to talk?   How, pray tell does that work?  That’s like saying that people going to church are always good Christians.  Anyone can say and pretend to be something.  It’s the people who prove it by their actions that show me.  

But what really gets me is that last line. It’s that little guilt trip jab right there.  Like the person who copied the status already thinks they “know” who the good and bad people on their friends list are.  They already know who cares enough to be there for them so they don’t expect you to share.  So hurry hurry and copy and paste it so everyone knows you aren’t one of those uncaring jerks who didn’t copy and paste.  Maybe that’s what I will tell my friends the next time one of them needs me.  “I can’t talk right now, but hey - I copied and pasted that status the other day so we are totally good, right?”

I wish this were the end of it.  This one status was the only one of its kind.  Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.  If you have spent any time on social media, just understand the wide range of things that you can be an uncaring, unsupportive heathen for, just by not copying and pasting.  I mean, since I don’t copy and paste I hate people with cancer, I don’t believe in Jesus and I don’t care about victims of suicide.  Why?  Why would sharing a post or copying and pasting have anything to do with my feelings on any of those subjects?  I’m totally okay with everyone posting away about all of these topics.  I will probably post about these topics myself someday.  But I’m not comfortable with the whole “copy and paste this or else…” mentality.  Just think about that the next time you copy and paste your very own guilt trip.

Steps down off soapbox.  Kicks it over...

Karma doesn't exist

Over the years as people have hurt my kids or I, others have tried to console me by saying, “Don’t worry, karma will get them.”  I guess the thought is that a person can get through these tough times in the knowledge that bad things will happen to that other person too and they will get paid back for what they have done.  I used to find comfort in this.  I used to fully believe that when people hurt others, they would “get what was coming to them” eventually.  

But here’s what I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older.  Karma doesn’t exist.  Some of the people who have hurt myself or my kids the most, have gotten everything they have ever wanted and are happier than you can imagine.  They are financially affluent while we count pennies.  They have possessions that we can only dream of.  They have a slew of friends and supporters that believe the lies that they post on social media and support them.  Everything seems to be going their way.  And you know what….

That’s okay too.  I refuse to live my life waiting on revenge.  Because that is how most people think of karma.  I’ve been doing a little research on karma and the true meaning behind karma is that if you do good for people, it will come back to you.  (Which, by the way, I have observed many times in my lifetime.)  It’s real intent is not that if someone hurts you, you wait around watching and hoping for life to kick them too.  Truth is that may happen, but even if it does, how will that help you?  Do you really think all your hurts, worries and concerns will go away?  They don’t.  

Here’s the truth about those people that you are waiting for karma to “serve”. 1. They are incredibly selfish.  IF life does finally deal them the swift kick in the ass they deserve, they will not be remorseful and become changed people.  More than likely it will feed their victim mentality and increase the “why do bad things happen to good people” posts.   2. They are incredibly skilled liars and the more people they can try to convince that you are all to blame for the evils in their world, the happier they will be.  If you’re living a vindictive life, trying to fight back at them and sling your own mud, you only add credibility to their accusations. Let it be.  You’re not going to convince those people anyway.  Good people know that there are two sides to every story and will reserve judgment until they hear your side.  Anyone else’s opinion isn’t worth hearing.    3.  They thrive on upsetting you and making you emotional.  You know the best way to deal with that?  Move on.  Don’t respond.  They will have to go looking elsewhere to get their supply of drama and emotional upheaval.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  

I’ve learned a lot over the last few years and one thing I know now moving forward is that life isn’t and can’t be about revenge.  The only one “hurt” by the thirst for revenge will be me.  The best thing I can do is put past hurts and even new ones, behind me.  I need to concentrate on being the best me I can be, for me.  I need to work on building myself up, learning new things and not live my life focused on wanting bad things to happen to other people.  I need to focus on my today’s and my tomorrow’s, not my yesterdays.  That’s an incredibly hard thing to do sometimes.  But something that is worth working on every single day.