Any horse person who has been a horse person for any length of time has had someone tell them that horses are a waste of money. Before we all gasp with the audacity of someone, let me remind you that we all know that some people really struggle to keep their unwanted opinions to themselves. It is just human nature for them to say everything that comes to their mind, whether it is kind and helpful or not. So let's get past the outright rudeness of the statement and hear my response to this lovely comment.
I didn't always have a good response to this. I had an ex who did everything in his power to make me feel guilty for loving and having horses. I was told I was selfish. I was given the guilt trip, "just think what we could have and do as a family if you didn't have horses." Looking back I feel like it was just one more of those times where he pushed to see how much I would give up, how miserable I would make myself just to keep him happy. He found out, that he was pushing against a fairly immovable wall when it came to horses.
When Tim and I were dating, I made it clear that I had horses. And that I would continue to have horses. And that I wasn't giving up my horses for any man. And that, I was indeed, a crazy horse lady. He learned, and maybe was explicitly told, that it was a no compromise zone for me. I work two jobs, one almost entirely to support my horse hobby (I say hobby - you say obsession or addiction, toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe, blah blah blah.) I'm not giving them up until I am ready to give them up. Tim, bless his ever patient and loving heart, has only ever been super supportive of my love of horses. I'm so thankful for him. But others, still feed the need to comment on how horses are a waste of money. The other day, I realized something and feel like I am ready to respond to anyone who feels the need to tell me that "horses are a waste of money".
Picture this, you're sitting with a group of people and someone tells you, "your horses are a waste of money". Normally you would try to argue this point by saying that you have bought horses for a certain amount of money and then sold them for more a year or years later. You might try to argue that you have raised a foal out of your horse and sold it for money. But any horse person can attest, especially with the rising cost of hay and grain, that this argument is weak and generally, invalid. By the time you feed them, provide shelter, vaccinations, farrier care, vet emergencies, and general health care - you are way past any income you may get from a future horse sale. And that's not even figuring in the cost of all the shows or other horse related events you may attend or the tack to ride/enjoy the horse. So stop trying to justify owning horses by discussing how they can make you money. Because for 99.9% of us, that just isn't true.
What is a valid argument is this - horses are a hobby that I love. Almost everyone has a hobby that they love. For some magically lucky people, they have managed to turn their hobby into something that can make them money, think of a woodworker, metal crafter, quilter, that sort of hobbiest. For most of the rest of us, our hobbies are just that, a hobby. The very definition of hobby is "an activity done regularly in leisure time for pleasure". It doesn't say anything about "to make money". So let's go back to our hypothetical situation....
Instead of arguing that they are going to make you money, be honest! Respond that you are well aware that horses are an expensive hobby that requires a significant influx of money to support every day, week or month. Acknowledge that they are correct. Then let's look at their hobby....
"You're right, Johhny Judger, horses are expensive and a "waste" of money. But then, most hobbies tend to be just that. Let's look at your camper, seems to me that's a giant waste of money too?" This is where they will try to justify their hobby - it is fun to watch the tables turn. They will probably start with, "camping is where we spend time together as a family". This is a good one because it is absolutely one of the reasons that we have horses and show together as a family. I love when people make my point for me. They usually follow this with that they can always sell their truck, motorhome, camper down the road. This is where I remind them that I can typically do the same with my horses and while most vehicles depreciate rather rapidly, by working with our horses we can usually increase their value. Then they remind me that horses need daily upkeep, chores, care. And I remind them that so does their dog, cat, hedgehog, etc... in fact, horses on pasture typically need less daily upkeep than even the family dog. As a last ditch they usually try to tell me that "yeah, but everything you buy for horses is so expensive too". Respond by asking them when the last time they walked in a Cabellas or RV store was.
Truthfully, this argument can go on endlessly and the truth is the argument is this - who wins in a "your hobby is more expensive" argument? Nobody. I will never understand (and I did it for years) the point in leaving my well equipped, everything where I want it, hot running water and fully functioning heat and air conditioned house for a tiny little replica out in the middle of nowhere. I will never understand choosing to spend time in the bugs and more bugs and did I mention bugs; smelling like smoke and BO and bug spray all while everything is always damp and damper if it is raining. But it isn't my hobby. I don't understand going out on the lake or river with only a tiny piece of fiberglass between me and certain death. I don't understand killing one tiny, squirmy, disgusting little creature by tricking another larger, slimy, disgusting creature into trying to eat it - only to throw the larger creature back into the water after catching it. But it isn't my hobby. I do not understand strapping a couple pieces of wood or fiberglass or whatever skis are to my feet and then shoving off from the top of a steep hill, tempting death and trying to make it to the bottom with all your joints still attached to the things they were originally attached to. But it isn't my hobby. I do not understand sitting in a tree with a loaded weapon in -10 windchills, smelling like deer pee and waiting for even one wild animal to cross close enough for you to blow its life away. But it isn't my hobby.
I'm sure for every person who doesn't see the joy in camping or fishing or skiing or hunting, there are equal or greater number of people who don't see the joy in trail riding or horse showing. Our hobbies are ours and ours alone. There is no reason to judge someone for what makes them happy. I can give you a thousand reasons why my horses are not a waste of money to me, but really all you need to know is that my reasons are mine and mine alone. I don't have to justify them to you. My happiness is my responsibility and one I am more than willing to accept.
