Sometimes when I lay awake at night, like Saturday night after Tim had a fire call, random creative things pop into my head. So yes, I was writing this at just after midnight. Thank goodness for the notes app on my phone. Come Sunday morning I edited a few things, but overall, this poem is fresh from the late night musings of a momma who never stops worrying.
Where were you?
Where were you when she cried all day?
Colicky babies are hard.
You couldn't deal but someone had to.
Where were you?
But you were there when she wore the dresses,
Sang the song or said the funniest things.
No one knew you only loved to celebrate,
You claimed the good times.
Where were you when homework brought tears?
Math and maps and tests are hard.
You couldn't deal with homework.
Where were you?
But you were there for the A honor roll,
Graduating with honors, the scholarships.
No one knew you only loved to celebrate,
You claimed the good times.
Where were you for the hours of lessons?
Tears, bruises, dirt and pushing her to try.
You couldn't deal with horses.
Where were you?
But you were there for the shows,
The ribbons, the trophies, the championships.
No one knew you only loved to celebrate,
You claimed the good times.
Where were you through under varsity?
The camps, the clinics, the weekends on the road.
You couldn't deal with 4th grade tournaments.
Where were you?
But you were there for the big games.
Hearing her name, seeing her stats, her face on TV.
No one knew you only loved to celebrate,
You claimed the good times.
Where were you through the bad times?
The boy trouble?
The friendships that hurt?
The projects that didn't turn out?
The games she fell down?
The sickness, the fever, the wanting to quit?
The times she was scared?
The times she was hurt?
The times she gave up?
The times she was frustrated or angry or lost?
Where were you?
I was there.
The other end of a phone call.
The response to a text.
Seeing her face and knowing she needed me.
Knowing before she knew,
That this was going to be bad.
Drying her tears,
Wiping the blood,
Giving the pep talk,
Standing in her corner.
I was there.
She knows now you only love to celebrate,
You don't get to claim the good times,
Anymore.
~ Melissa Kiehne Andring 2/2/20
