Strength: There is a quote that says: "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." That was definitely a lesson I learned this year. I never thought I would have the strength to make that impossible decision to improve mine and the girls' lives by making a break from our old one. For myself I couldn't have done it. But for my girls, I'd do anything. And the need for strength didn't end there. Divorce is an ugly thing and there aren't any two ways around that. But it has helped me find an inner strength that I haven't know I had for years. And not only have I felt my own personal strength, but I've watched many of my friends struggle and grow and find a strength that they didn't know they had this year also. My heart goes out to all of them and yet, at the same I'm so proud of them for showing themselves, their families and the world how strong they all are.
Family: "The love of a family is life's greatest blessing." With Alex becoming ill back in January and with the girls and I needing our family more than ever, our family has become a stronger more bonded unit than ever before. I'm so thankful for my amazing family and how we are always there for each other. No matter our differences, our past arguments, our histories, we are always there for each other. Always.
Friendship: "Friendship means understanding, not agreement. It means forgiveness, not forgetting. It means the memories last, even if the contact is lost." This year I've learned who my true friends are, the ones that can be counted on no matter what happens or how high the cost. I know who will always be there for me and those I've lost along the way I cannot mourn as they have made a choice and I can't begrudge someone for making the choices they feel are right. I'm so thankful for the friends in my life and the new friendships I have made, that I can't dwell on those I've lost.
Honesty: "Honesty is an expensive gift, don't expect it from cheap people." You know what I've learned this year? People can't disappoint you if you set your expectations for that person at zero. A wise man and very good friend taught me that early this spring and it has helped me immensely over the past several months. I've always valued honesty and this year has taught me that honesty with myself, my kids, my friends and my family has to be a cornerstone of my future. And it also taught me the kind of people who will never and can never be expected to be honest. You might say I have lost some of my trust in people, but I think that comes with gaining strength.
Determination: "The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination." A little personal pat on the back, but a few years ago I never would have imagined that I could run 13.1 miles and not die trying. Much less complete 2 half marathons. I'll never be sorry for signing up for the two races I ran and I am even contemplating running another in 2014.
Laughter: "A day without laughter is a day wasted." This summer I've learned to laugh even more and enjoy the littlest things. And I've truly learned the value in being able to laugh away the worries about things a person cannot change. When you can find the joy and humor in a situation, it makes all things bearable.
Love: "Falling in love with him was never in my plan until one day... I woke up loving him so much." I learned this year that everything doesn't have to make sense and be planned out. That sometimes the things you just let happen are the best things that could ever happen to you. And I'm so thankful for the things that just happened for me this summer.
With the lessons I've learned, my looking ahead to 2014 is pretty simple. I wish for closure in the form of a final divorce decree so we can move on and move forward. I hope for health and happiness for my beloved friends and family. I hope for continued laughter, love and new beginnings in 2014. And I hope that I never stop appreciating the lessons that life has for all of us.
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