Words of Wisdom

Last week I had a student in my sixth grade classroom get me really well.  We were talking about how teachers used to be able to use corporal punishment.  I was describing my mom's story about her typing class where you got rapped on the knuckles with a ruler and this young man pipes up with a question, "You know those kids that got spanked as a child, it caused diseases."  He got me hook line and sinker and I was responded, "Diseases?  Like what?"  And his witty response, "Like respect."  I have to admit, I laughed.  A lot.

So I went searching for other words of wisdom.  I found some good ones.

First of all, we have some advice for that self centered, egotistical soul that we all know who puts their own wants and needs ahead of others.  I'm not talking about taking time out for your self.  I'm talking about people that bring to line one of my favorite quotes from a movie, quoted from Armageddon by the gentleman who discovered the astroid that was going to wipe out the earth.
"Karl: Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person who finds her gets to name her right?
Dan: Yes, yes that's right, that's right.
Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape."

There are many variations to this next tidbit of information.  But so far this is my favorite.  I don't think I could have said it better, although I have been known to say that I'd like to prove the theory that money can't buy happiness wrong.  Just give me the chance!

I can't help but laugh a lot at the next one.  Poor Ryan, he has to put up with me.  He might not agree to the benefits, but I think I'm a pretty big "perk".  Yeah, that's what I am.

They're everywhere, they're everywhere!!!  I love my zombie show, The Walking Dead and honestly, sometimes I think I would rather deal with the "walkers" than some of the real life people I deal with almost every day.  The walkers probably have more personality and caring than these people do too.

But there is hope.  Spring will come eventually.  I think?  And with spring comes the best time of the year.  I miss my horse show family SO much!! 

For anyone that reads my blog and still is crazy enough to think they want to be my friend.  I do have warning label.  

And lastly, because no one says it better than Grumpy Bear:

So I did it.

I unliked/unfriended/unfollowed all running or work out pages on Facebook other than the races I've signed up for.  I know, I know, what am I thinking?  Those pages are there to motivate, encourage, remind us to work out and put our best foot forward.  And goodness knows there are days that I need the motivation.  There are days when I need the kick in the pants and the reminder not to have the extra cookie or bar or bowl of ice cream.  Okay, lots of days.  But the fact of the matter is that most days I work out and at least try to eat healthy or responsibly, but one thing never changes.  I am always too competitive.  And quite frankly I'm sick of feeling guilty.  

Let me explain.  Just a few days ago it looked like I was going to have a few hours alone in the evening with just my oldest and myself.  She's 13.  So few years left with her and every day I remind myself that each moment with her is precious.  We all know that before long she will be out with friends, even busier with activities and beyond my reach.  These few hours we have together are getting fewer and farther between.  Someone suggested that I take her out for a mother/daughter dinner and my first reaction wasn't, "great idea".  My first reaction was, "today is Thursday.  My workout schedule says that I need to get 5 miles in and I was planning to do some additional strength training.  I've already logged too many calories to really be able to afford the calories eating out, etc..."  And then I caught myself.  I checked myself and was ashamed.  When did that workout - that calorie counting - become more important than a dinner with my daughter?

I'm not saying being healthy isn't a priority.  I'm not saying I won't be working out and working toward achieving my running goals.  I will say that I gave myself a little reality check and will do my best not to get so wrapped up in the process that I lose track of the end goal.  Being a good example for my girls on health and happiness also means putting family first.

What's your theme song?

Every day I start out class with a journal entry.  Some easy, "What's your favorite candy?", some harder like a quote, "Always shoot for the stars, for even if you fail you'll land among the stars" to explain or interpret.  Sometimes I really like to challenge them.  Today's question was "What would be your theme song and why?"  Wow - some of their responses were really interesting.

Some of the students chose contemporary songs like Titanium or Monster, mostly because they know the songs and they are fresh in their minds.  Some of the students chose older songs.  I was shocked to hear some of the titles and the reasons for their inspiration, "the song lifts me up", "it motivates me to get going", etc...  They really did their best with a very thought-provoking question.

And of course I should have been better prepared to answer when they asked, as could be expected, "What would be your theme song?"  I didn't have a good answer.  I had been thinking of it since I wrote the words on the board, but I am not really good at the lyrics.  I love them.  I sing along with them.  But sometimes I don't do a great job of listening to the meaning.  I think I've discussed this recently...

Anyway.  I thought.  And thought so more.  I came up with ideas "Titanium", "Roar", "Applause", but I finally realized that my theme song, for this time of my life anyway, would have to be "Brave".  Not only do I love the song, but it is one song that I actually know the lyrics to and appreciate the meaning behind them.  A good friend of mine sent me the song last year as I was beginning my personal journey.  She was proud of me and over the past year, I've become proud of myself.  So while the song speaks to me, it is also my wish for my girls and my friends that have let themselves get pushed down.  Ladies, I wanna see you be brave!

"Brave" by Sara Bareiles

"Brave"

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just want to see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

It's Tradition

Divorce causes so many changes in our children's lives.  In all the reading I've done, it says to try to carry on with as many of the same routines, daily schedules, belongings, etc... as possible.  I've worked very hard to do the best I can, but wow - that is a tough one.  It isn't easy to be the parent that still have rules, expects respect and wants the kids to *gasp* pitch in around the house.  But... the experts say it is for the best.  Maybe I'll try that one next time.  I don't want to make you keep your room clean, but the experts say it is what is best for you.  Ha, yeah - I don't think that would go over so well.
Another struggle that I have been seeing more and more of is the change in what is "tradition".  Especially around the holidays.  There wasn't any waking up early on Christmas and racing down the stairs in their pjs to open presents.  There wasn't Thanksgiving at Grandma Whalen's with exchanging of kids' names.  And most recently, Sophie figuring out that Easter won't be with me.

An Easter tradition that I carried down from my mom and both my kids grew up with is the annual Easter egg hunt.  But not big eggs, not hard boiled eggs (can you imagine losing one of those in your home), but the small Hershey's chocolate eggs.  EVERYWHERE.  It is pretty common for us to miss at least one or two and find them a couple months later when we move furniture or get that something out you use once in a great while.  Sophie lives for that Easter egg hunt with her little basket, quivering on the couch while I remind the girls of the rules and know that they aren't hearing a word as they are already scoping out in the room where they can spy eggs.  Oh and I hide them.  I hide them well.  High, low, in things, under things, behind things.  It takes me forever to hide them the night before.

I also hide their Easter baskets.  Over the years it has gotten harder and harder for them to find.  It started with behind a chair or the TV and last year I think I hid one in the dryer and one in the stove.  Thank goodness no one preheated the oven for an Easter breakfast treat while her basket was still in there.

When Sophie found out that Easter weekend would be with her dad, she was totally bummed.  "But we ALWAYS look for the eggs you hide."  Of course I made a promise that we would still do the hunt - it would just be a different day.

I can't help but think that while it is important to keep as many things "normal" for the kids as possible, this is also a good time to start new traditions.  Set new expectations for our new lives and a positive new outlook.  Change can be a great thing!  Time to embrace change and start new traditions for our new lives.

Hold onto your cards.

Ryan's favorite show of all time must be Scrubs because he has all 9 seasons on DVD.  And we watch them.  Every night.  So I've started to see them on repeat now and one part that always makes me laugh is the "man card" scene.  I found it on youtube, watch it here:

Scrubs

I thank my lucky stars that they don't give out "woman cards".  I would have lost mine a long time ago.  It's funny because after seeing that episode I'll even catch myself thinking, "well, I just lost a woman card for that one."

For example.  Princess Bride.  A favorite of every human out there possessing two X chromosomes I think. I have friends that haven't even tried to conceal their utter disdain and disgust when I tell them that I really can't stand the movie.  It isn't romantic to me and the whole time I watch it I sit there wishing it would just get over.  I've TRIED watching it and I've tried liking it. I watched it at different times in my life.  I've watched it on happy days and sad, with friends and by myself.  I just can't stand it.  I know.  That will cost me one woman card.

Another example, dresses.  Dresses don't make me feel pretty.  They make me feel naked.  And vulnerable.  I don't like naked and vulnerable.  I like being able to pitch hay, carry a bucket of water and just bend over without having to make sure nothing is falling out or anything is creeping up.  I can honestly say I don't own one dress or even a skirt.  I have some pants suits, for formal wear.  But if I were to go to a wedding.... it would be khakis I guess.  I prefer jeans.  They are very few surprises with jeans.  Jeans are safe.  And comfy.  I'm going to stick to jeans.  I'm handing over one woman card for that one.

Movies.  Yeah.  Movies.  That's a tricky one.  Girls are supposed to love romantic dramas right?  I've seen a few I like.  I love The Notebook.  But for the most part I prefer a good action adventure or sci-fi movie, a thriller, a raunchy comedy or even a documentary.  Dramas are good for falling asleep though.  But I'm not making my man sit through a "chick flick" because it would be punishment for me too.

How about shoes?  Girls are supposed to be obsessed with shoes right?  Want the expensive ones, want the heels, the open toes, the sandals?  Yeah, not me.  Unless I get to count running shoes/sneakers.  I want those in every color.  And they cost plenty of money.  But I have one pair of brown dress shoes and one pair of black.  What more does a girl need? OH and cowboy boots.  I want lots and lots of those.  In every color and height and toe style and pattern.   So can I keep my card? Because I would love to be able to spend lots on boots and running shoes.

Alright ladies, take stock.  How many of your "woman cards" would you have to give up?  It's a darn good thing we are all strong and confident women and don't need to fit the mold of the typical woman.  I'll wear my jeans and cowboy boots to a GI Joe or Transformers movie, and take it all with a little dirt under my fingernails and dust on my jacket.  And good luck taking one of my cards from me.  As a line from a favorite movie of mine goes, "you'll be walking over here, but you'll be limping back."

Greatest Love Song Ever

Okay okay, I'll give in to one thing about Valentine's Day.  There is nothing like a good love song.  I was having this disagreement the other day with Ryan about what is the greatest love song ever written.  There are so many great classics:


Unforgettable - The lyrics, the voices, what isn't to love?

In the Still of the Night - God I love this song.  Even before it brought forth images of Patrick Swayze half dressed in bed with Jennifer Grey, it was an amazing love song.

Endless Love - Definitely a classic love song.  Not top of my list, but definitely a good one.

Then you can fast forward to the love songs from my era growing up, and yep, I fully intend to date myself here.

Take My Breath Away  - This song will always bring to mind a hot young pilot and a great movie.  What a heartthrob, but what a great song!

Lost in Your Eyes  - Her career might have been short lived, but this song will live forever as a great love song.  And with a relatively easy piano part, makes it a popular one for the would be pop star wannabes to pound out on their pianos at home.  (And by that description I mean me growing up, in my basement, pretending to be the next Debbie Gibson.)

I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing  - Love love love this song.  Love the scene in Armageddon that made it famous. Love the whole movie actually - cry every single time Bruce Willis says goodbye to his daughter.   LOVE Aerosmith.  Seriously -did they ever have a bad song?  So what if a few of their songs sound exactly alike, they are amazing.

How about country love songs?  So many good ones in that music genre too.

Amazed  - Does any set of lyrics get any sweeter than:
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
I Cross My Heart  - You want to talk about heart stopping lyrics.  George sure has a way with them.  From my all time favorite "I Cross My Heart" to "Check Yes or No" and "The Chair" and all the great ones in between. You want a love song, George Strait is a safe bet.

It's Your Love  - Beautiful song by a beautiful couple

You guys know I could go on forever.  There are so many amazing love songs and too little time to post them all.  But if YOU had to choose the greatest love song ever, what would your vote be for.  If you had asked me a year ago I probably would have said, "Open Arms" by Journey.  It was always a favorite of mine.

Open Arms

But there is one song that I ever hear it, it makes my heart melt.  This song is the one for me.  The one that describes exactly the kind of love I feel every woman deserves.

Greatest Love Song Ever

Agree? Disagree? Who cares!  Share your favorite love songs - tis the season and they are all amazing!

Seen anything good lately??

This weather has us all cooped up, but it does help with one thing.  It does help us get caught up on our movie watching.  Lately we've been working our way through Netflix, Redbox and the IGA.  The IGA does this amazing deal where you rent three movies for $7.99 and you can keep them for 2 days!  Of course, in our home, that means we forget to take them back after the second day and our amazing deal sometimes ends up not so awesome.  But we have watched a lot of movies.

Oh and Wehrenberg.  God bless Wehrenberg.  It is like my own personal sanctuary.  Love that place.  Nothing like a tub of popcorn, large pop and a box of milk duds to help you pass a winters day with a good movie.  We've spread our movie watching out, been to a movie at the Jem, been to Viking Theater in Decorah, but there is not greater joy than settling into my middle seat at Wehrenberg.

So what have we seen?  Well, I managed to make it through Nutjob with 3 nine year olds last Friday. It was cute as kids movies go. Not amazing or laugh out loud funny (like Frozen was), but the kids thought it was pretty good as an adult I could stand it.  It might not help that I think of squirrels as rats with fuzzy tails.  But I don't think the rodent prejudice is it, because I really liked Ratatouille.  I can tell you the little boy behind me didn't like it.  Cried and asked to leave through the whole thing.  That might have been why I didn't enjoy Nutjob as much as some of the others.

Saw Anchor Man 2.  It was eh, okay.  There were a few really hilarious parts, but I'm not one who likes slapstick type humor so, eh?  Ryan loved it.  And I have to admit I did laugh a little.  It might have helped if I had seen Anchor Man (the first) so that I could have understood some of the humor that went over my head. 

Saw an amazing movie in the theater, but if you missed it in the theater, you still need to check it out. Saving Mr Banks has one of my all time favorite actors in it, Tom Hanks.  Wow, he is just so amazing.  Think back over the roles he has played and you will see why I enjoyed this movie.  There was drama, and there was LOTS of humor.  I know that many people might think it was a kids movie because the background of the story is Mary Poppins, but I would not recommend for younger children.  My Libby would probably enjoy it, my Sophie wouldn't.  

Speaking of Tom Hanks movies, Ryan is a big fan of true story films.  (It's why he drug me The Conjuring.  Scariest movie of my life so far and one I "watched" the second half of by burying my head in his shoulder.)  So he brought home Captain Phillips.  It is an AWESOME movie.  Highly recommend.  

Also watched The Great Gatsby this past weekend.  It was pretty good.  A little slow getting started.  It has been soooo long since I read the book that I really couldn't remember the plot at all.  So I was a little confused, but once it got rolling it was pretty good.  And the ending was worth the wait.  Definitely a colorful and drama filled movie to check out on a snowy winter day.

So what good movies have you seen lately?  I have a list of ones to see.  Lone Survivor, Labor Day, Winters Tale, Monuments Men... the list goes on and on!!

My Wish...

My Wish

I would hope and pray that every parent could relate to this song.  Sadly we all know that some parents don't have the same goals, hopes and dreams for their children.  But most of us, and I know all of you can relate to the lyrics of this song.  It's not a new song, it has been around for a while.  But sometimes you can hear a song, know a song, sing along to a song and never really LISTEN to a song.  This song hit me today and after really listening and even looking up the lyrics, I'm not ashamed to say that I did choke back a few tears.
Being a parent is never easy.  I told some of my friends this week that I wish there was a manual that said, "if your kid does this, you do this" or better yet, a button you could just push and *poof* it would fix everything.  But there isn't.  And parenting is one part getting it right and two parts getting it wrong sometimes. But it is definitely three parts picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and trying again.  And hopefully you all come through on the other end unscathed.
Sometimes being a parent really sucks.  There is nothing worse than having to enforce a consequence, having to take away something that your child loves and enjoys, something that makes them smile and makes you proud of them.  But being a parent is a huge responsibility.  There is no greater task in the world than raising a child who is responsible yet relaxed, ambitious yet kind, motivated but not pressured, generous but not naive, caring yet cautious and respectful yet willing to stand up for what is right.  And sometimes that means being the bad guy.  Being the one who has to say no.   Being the one that has to say, you can't have that or do that.  And that is what sucks.  Because truly, we all have the same wish for our kids.
Thank you Rascal Flatts for "My Wish".  The following is my wish for my girls.

"My Wish"

  I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you want to go,

And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,

If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you left,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,

And you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,

And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish

I hope you know somebody loves you

May all your dreams stay big