Happiness isn't easy

The other day I was checking up on a good friend of mine who has gone through a lot in the past couple of years.  I was so happy to hear that she was doing well and finding happiness. She commented that she could see from Facebook that things were going well for me too.  And on that day, at that moment, things really were.  But I thought back over the past two years, and most specifically the past year and how often my positive posts on Facebook were a desperate attempt to remind myself or maybe even convince myself of what I should be doing and how I wanted to feel.  My friend’s comment reminded me that often times I scroll through Facebook and am jealous of people who seem to have it all together, have blissful and happy lives without a care in the world.  Her comment was the wake up call I needed to realize, that as much as I was putting a positive perspective on what my life was, there were probably dozens of friends and family that were doing exactly the same thing, day after day.  There is no reason to be jealous of what you don’t know.  No more reason than there is to judge people who aren’t positive and happy.  They are doing the best they can at any given moment as well.  And sometimes, the best we can is a whole lot of work.

Happiness is hard work.  And over the past year I’ve learned that it is a choice that you have to make every single day.  Of course some days are easier than others.  I love the easy days.  I live for those easy days.  Maybe it is just me, but those easy days seem to be contagious.  If you “catch” one, they seem to “catch” on and before you know it you’ve had a whole string of days when the easy was, well…. easy!  

Other days it is almost more of a struggle than one person can take to keep putting that one foot in front of the other.  Keep looking for the positive side.  Keep practicing gratitude.  Some days I want to scream about how much something sucks or how unfair something is.  Some days I don’t want to meditate, I don’t want to practice mindfulness,  I don’t want to practice breathing, I just want to have things turn around and go my way.  I just want things to not be so damn hard.  On those days, happiness is a project.  

I guess, what I’m trying to say is that I learned a lot from that one statement.  I learned that I need to stop being jealous of someone’s positivity because they could be working just as hard as I am.  I was reminded not to judge others for their negativity because they are trying as hard as the rest of us to find elusive happiness.  I need to be kind with myself on the days when happiness is hard and cherish the easy days.