It's my wedding day!

I officially gave up on sleep a couple of hours ago, and while I know I will regret this decision around midnight tonight, I'm not sorry to have a few minutes to myself this morning to decompress and reflect on how and why I got to this date.

The last few weeks, and especially the last few days, have flown by in a fluster of phone calls, meetings, appointments and lists.  There are a lot of things to check off in a wedding.   Even a wedding as simple as we tried to keep ours.  And just when you think you have everything done, something else comes up.  Did you make a list for the photographer?  Did you remember to call the bar?  Did you confirm with the DJ?  And that last minute craft project.  (Curse you Pinterest!)  But in all that, it is so important to keep reflecting back on why you're having this wedding and in the grand scheme of things, does what you've got on that list really matter?

There is a lot of perspective gained by having it be our second wedding.  I know I wasn't nearly this calm before my first wedding.  And really, did the fact that the cocktail napkins with the embossed design and our name/date not getting ordered or picked up affect our marriage?  Not even close.  There were a lot of things I should have been worrying about that day, and napkins weren't it.  Did anyone even notice?  I kind of doubt it.  And if they did?  What is the reason for the wedding again?  Napkins?  Impressing others?

I got sucked into it a bit.  You want your wedding to be beautiful.  You want your guests to be happy.  You want everyone to have a great time.  And I let myself worry about that.  Too much.  As Tim left last night he reminded me that even if it rains, even if nothing goes as planned, even if there is some great faux pas or catastrophe, at the end of the day we will be married.  We will be Mr and Mrs Andring forever and that is what is the only important thing about today.

So as I sit here worrying about if I have enough lemonade and do I need a basket of this or that for the guests, I also sit here and think, eh... there is always water.  (Sorry everyone!  But water is good for you, I'm just thinking about your health or something.)  I also sit and think about how I got to this point and can't help smiling as I think a family conversation we had this past week.  At one point Tim turned to me and said, "Do you realize that a year ago you and I moved in together after only dating 3 months?  What were we thinking?"  Which led to a conversation about getting married quickly.  Which led to us reminding the children that we got engaged after only a few months, but sheesh, it's been a whole year and FOUR months since we started dating now....

I'm sure many people are thinking we are crazy.  Heck, we admit we are a little crazy (okay, maybe a lot).   But there is one thing we are both sure of.  We are crazy about each other.  When we met with Tim's priest to discuss marriage and our future together and our marriage together a common theme kept coming up.  Love.  I think what is different for a couple at our stage in our lives is that we understand what is so important in a relationship and in a marriage.  Love.  Not winning every argument.  Not who left the light on, who left their clothes on the floor (*cough* Tim *cough), or the garage door open.  Not your own personal wants and needs or getting what you want every time.  But love.

Loving your partner enough that you want them to be happy and know that they are loved, every single day.  Wanting your partner to wake up knowing they are loved, fall asleep knowing they are loved and even when you argue, knowing that they are loved.  It's knowing how lucky you are to have someone to love who loves you back.  It's not taking for granted that you have someone who makes you smile but also holds you when you feel like you're falling into a million pieces.  It's someone who looks at all the broken, cracked, messed up little parts of you and says, "this is mine and it is shiny and beautiful and I am so blessed to have it."  If that takes 2 years, 2 days or 2 months to find, when you find it, grab on to it.  Hold on to it and never let society or tradition dictate how fast you make that official.  Tim and I may have only know each other 1 year, 140 days, 13 hours and 17 minutes.  But my heart has known him and been looking for him for longer than I can remember.  And I cannot wait to make our love and our marriage and our future, forever.

Interesting....very interesting

A post came across my social media feed tonight about how this "us" was created during the election because of how "we" attacked "them" and they had to stand up for themselves.  I started to write a blog post about the "us vs them" mentality that Trump has so bitterly pushed for in our country when I realized it all sounded very familiar.  That's when I looked back through old blog posts and realized I had already written it.  And cleverly titled it "Us vs Them".  Wow, I was feeling creative that day I guess.

Us vs Them

But that's not really even the most interesting part.  What was interesting to me was that I posted that back in March in response to being called a snowflake for being a liberal.  What was interesting to me was that when I looked at my blog statistics, that post was read 63 times.  63 times and I am sure at least 5 were me proofreading and rereading my own blog.  In contrast, my blog on Tim and my song for the wedding has been viewed 390 times.  My blog on tipping your server: 239 times.  My blog about why I wear Lularoe:  323 times.   In fact, I was hard pressed to find a blog that had been read fewer times than my blog on us vs them.

Why is that interesting you ask?  Because I don't get it.  Why is it more interesting to read about colored glass hens on nests than discussing the divide in our great nation?  Why do we pretend that there aren't serious human rights issues going on right under our noses?  Why do we bury our heads in the sand and puff out our chests pretending that the issue isn't our own selves?  Why do we refuse to even read about it, much less do something about it?

Trump can't fix this country.  Obama didn't fix this country.  The media isn't to blame.  The "entitlement generation" isn't to blame.  Our education system isn't to blame.  The economy isn't to blame.  The blame lies within each and every one of us.  You.  Me.  Our parents.  Our kids.  Our neighbors.  We need to all look within ourselves and our interactions with each other and check ourselves.   I'm no better but I'm trying to be better.  I'm trying to have an open mind and I'm trying to change me.  Because that is the only person I can change.  Myself.

Stop trying to force feed your values and opinions on others.  Stop believing that just because someone doesn't agree with you they must be wrong, stupid, or your enemy.  Stop worrying about someone's religion, gender, sexual orientation, color, nationality and race and start asking them about what their childhood was like, how they came to their belief system and try to see from their point of view.  After all, it isn't our job to judge others.  It is our job to judge ourselves.  And sadly, most of us come up a little short.

We can either bury our heads in the sand and skip everything that we don't agree with or just don't want to hear about, or we can start being part of the solution.  Live the solution.  And share it with everyone you can.  We are all in this together after all.

A Better Place

So today is two weeks from wedding rehearsal night and just a little over two weeks until the big day.  I know I should be getting nervous or worried or panicked, but instead I'm just getting more excited and looking forward to the big day.  I'm so thrilled with everything and so blessed to have so many people in my life helping make sure that Tim and my day goes as well as it possibly can.  I don't know where I would be without my best friend, my sister, Tim's sister, Paula, Julie, and so many others.  You guys are all amazing.  I'm probably more nervous about the rehearsal dinner and Sunday brunch being at my house and hosting that, then I am the actual ceremony.

But I am getting off topic.  One of the things I am super excited about is the songs that will be sung at the wedding.  And the most special of those is the song "A Better Place" by Rachel Platten.  I first heard the song on one of Tim and I's first dates.  I was on the way home from seeing him in St Charles when it came on the radio.

A Better Place:

Lyrics

I'll tell the world, I'll sing a song
It's a better place since you came along
Since you came along
Your touch is sunlight through the trees
Your kisses are the ocean breeze
Everything's alright when you're with me

And I hold my favorite thing
I hold the love that you bring
But it feels like I've opened my eyes again
And the colors are golden and bright again
There's a song in my heart, I feel like I belong
It's a better place since you came along
It's a better place since you came along

I see the whole world in your eyes
It's like I've known you all my life
We just feel so right
So I pour my heart into your hands
It's like you really understand
You love the way I am

And I hold my favorite thing
I hold the happiness you bring
But it feels like I've opened my eyes again
And the colors are golden and bright again
And the sun paints the skies and the wind sings our song
It's a better place since you came along
It's a better place since you came along

Now I'm alright
Now I'm alright
Everything's alright

'Cause it feels like I've opened my eyes again
And the colors are golden and bright again
There's a song in my heart, I feel like I belong
It's a better place since you came along
It's a better place since you came along

Songwriters: Rachel Platten / Sally Seltmann

The lyrics couldn't describe how I feel about Tim better if I had explained my life and how Tim made me feel to Rachel and had her write a song just for us.  Many of you know that I had gone through a couple pretty crappy relationships before I met Tim.  I didn't hold much hope for finding that special someone, finding that elusive unicorn, the fairy tale.  I had even talked to my therapist at the time about taking a break from men, possibly permanently.  Like I joked at the time, I was one step away from ordering the crazy cat lady starter kit.  But Frank convinced me that I had more to give and that there was surely at least one guy my age that met my long list of criteria like, "doesn't cheat" and "isn't a drunk" and "tells me I'm pretty".  Impossibly high standards, right?

So I put myself out there and vowed not to get serious with anyone. No relationships.  Just go on dates, meet people and have a good time.  I wanted to meet lots of people and I did not want to commit to any of them.  Commitment was scary and meant I could be hurt again.  I wanted to avoid that at all costs.  Enter Tim.  Tim screwed up that plan in a big way.

Not that I didn't fight him at the beginning.  He would love to tell you the story of how I "rejected" him.  The truth is he sent me flowers and I panicked that it was getting too serious too fast.  I worried about hurting him.  Hurting me.  And doing it "wrong".  I was worried about what others would think.  I was worried about how fast he made me feel comfortable and how much I liked him.  I was worried about the fact that I didn't want to see other people, that I was crazy about him.   So yeah, I told him the flowers were too soon and that I had to see other people.  But guess what.  I didn't.

So fast forward and I'm driving home when this song comes on and it is so perfect.  Of course I had to send it to Tim.  And of course he agreed with me.  Just like that, we had "our song".  And now every time it comes on my heart does a little flip flop and I get butterflies.

I had always thought of myself as broken after the end of my last relationship.  But I wasn't broken.  I was just a little bruised on the inside and it turns out Tim was just the man for the job of making me see that.  I am so lucky to have him in my life and I am so blessed that he has made all of our lives "a better place".

Click here to hear our song:  A Better Place

Selling horses

Libby is always horse shopping.  Literally always.   She loves it when she finds out someone we know is looking for a certain horse because it gives her an excuse to go horse shopping.  Otherwise it is just an endless stream of window shopping and dreaming for us both.  But one thing that I have noticed over the years of seeing all types of ads being posted for horses for sale is that there are definite rights and wrongs way to go about posting pictures of your horse for sale.  Let's just focus on pictures here for a moment...

Some people get it.  In fact, I would say at this date in time, lots of people get it.  They showcase their horse after a bath, mane and tail neatly brushed, set up from the front/back/side.

They show the horse actually doing the skill they are saying the horse is trained to do.  If it is kid safe, they show a kid riding.  If it is a trail horse, they show it out of the yard on a trail.  If it's a show horse, they have a picture of the horse at an actual show, etc...

But there are still lots of folks who just haven't mastered the art of advertising their horses.  And really, why am I whining about it.  It helps us sell our horses if others can't promote theirs right?  I guess, it is just frustrating to see people complain that their horse won't sell, the market is crap, they had to drop their horse at an auction, etc... when they won't put in even a few minutes to properly photograph and advertise their horses.

So let's start with photographs, this is not an ad worthy photo.  I get the "hard to get a picture because they are always wanting to be with me" type horses.  But invest in a halter and tie old pocket pony to a tree.  Even China can be kind of photogenic when tied to a fence.

Which picture better shows you the horse's conformation and build?  And the picture of China isn't even one I would consider ad worthy with the pile of poop, tipped up buckets and her head in shade.  But it's better than Old Red there awkwardly turning on his/her front leg and coming towards me.

Next up we have old paint.  Horses should not carry more than 20% of their own body weight.   This horse might very well be fine, but this picture doesn't do him any good.  The rider looks WAY too big.  I'm not going to say I never hopped on my girls ponies to help with an attitude adjustment or to help teach the pony a new skill.  I did not, however, allow photos to be taken, much less use them in a sale ad.

See, old paint is kind of cute colored and in good condition.  But we still no NOTHING about his conformation even with multiple pictures of him eating grass.  But at least we know he rides?  And knows how to eat grass of course.  It's an important skill.

This is my favorite.  Pictures on their side.  Maybe because I have to look like a dog who is trying to figure out the word "treat" as I cock my head from side to side and back again trying to see what the papers say or what the horse looks like.  Or trying to just turn my phone enough that I can see it before it shifts the picture.  Always thinking to myself... nooooo!  This idiot posted his picture sideways and I NEED to turn my phone!  PS - I'm pretty darn sure you can turn a picture and edit it even AFTER you upload to Facebook.

What's with all the crooked pictures? It's like a thing?  I don't get it?  Is this supposed to be a horse with an "uphill" build?  Looks like a horse in good condition, with a job, at a beautiful location.  Take the dang picture level so I don't look like a confused pup again please!

Minis and ponies.  Why is every ad for minis and ponies always of them loose in a pasture and/or eating?  And for good measure - let's throw them behind a fenceline.  Is your mini pony the devil?   Some of them are - I've met them.  If not, throw a halter on the little bugger, KNEEL on the ground from the side, and take a picture of Miss Snotty Pants that may help her find her new home.

Is this horse going down a really steep incline?  Nope - just another picture that couldn't possibly have been taken from a better angle.

It's a halter!  It's tied!  It's clean and adorable and so close to a great picture.  Looks like a great pony though and I kind of want Roany Pony in my pasture.  So much squealy cuteness.  I wonder what her conformation looks like?

And the best for last... we have the incredible headless appy.  It's amazing!!!

While I'm giving sale ad pointers....  let me share a couple spelling corrections to help you all out.

1.  It's conFORmation, not conFIRmation.  You want to highlight how your horse is put together, not whether they have made a commitment to Christ.
2.  It's filly, not philly.  She isn't a cheesesteak.
3.  It's gelding (only if he no longer HAS testicles), not guilding.  He is not coated in gold.
4.  It's lunge or longe.  NOT lounge.  (I feel like I've said this a thousand times.)  All horses are good at lounging.  I can do a pretty good impression of lounging when I take one of my famous afternoon naps.  If your horse can run around in a circle on a line it can lunge or longe.
5.  He or she is good for the FARRIER.  Not the ferrier.  Unless he or she is good for a trip across a body of water on a ferry.  Then maybe.  Hmm.. maybe I have been misreading those ads...

Okay.  I need to stop there.  Happy selling!