Thank you, parents. Thank you for the kind of employee you're raising. Oh not all of you. There are a few of you that are still setting expectations, enforcing consequences and refusing to bail out your kids. I know that you're out there because I see you with my students. You're the parents that tell students that they need to get their homework done before they go to that game or birthday party. You're the ones that don't climb down my throat when Little Johnny gets a D for having late work, you climb down Johnny's and take away his phone, his video game and his free time. But to those other parents, the ones that make excuses, lie, and bail out your kids I have a very sarcastic thank you.
To the parents that come in screaming and fists raised when the teacher "picks" on Little Johnny, let me tell you what I've seen you will create. Employees that can't take constructive criticism. Do you think their bosses are always going to give them pats on the back and congrats for a job well done? Chances are Little Johnny will make some kind of a mistake and when his big bad boss corrects him and he can't take it, what will Little Johnny do? Quit. Little Johnny isn't used to not getting his way. Instead of leaping in to the rescue with your cape firmly attached and your sword at ready, ask Little Johnny what he has done to help the situation. Has he approached and discussed the situation with his teacher? Has he considered his tone or language choice? Is he even telling the story the way it actually happened?
To the parents that jump in and get involved when Little Johnny gets into an argument with a friend, let me tell you what that looks like. Employees that cannot disagree respectfully with a coworker. Employees that don't know how to have civil discussions and look at situations from a different perspective. Employees that don't realize that you don't all have to be friends, but you do have to be respectful and polite. Employees that quit because they "don't like somebody". When Little Johnny comes home upset about an issue with a friend, help them realize that they need to talk to that other student about it. They need to use words and explain how what is happening makes them feel. They may need to enlist adult help to facilitate this discussion, but most of these incidences are not one sided. We need to be helping our kids learn these skills before they are adults. Running away or ignoring it does not solve relationship problems.
To the parents that lie or make excuses for why Little Johnny does not have his work done in class, let me share with you what happens if Little Johnny doesn't get his work done at a job. He becomes unemployed. *Cue Chris Farley's skit about living in a van down by the river.* I get it, I'm hating the fact that Libby is moving out and moving on with her life. But I also don't want my kids to HAVE to live with me forever because they are unemployable. Instead of making excuses for them not getting their work done, hold them accountable. Realize that they can miss that basketball game or school dance. Realize that some time away from the video games or their cell phone will not kill them. Help them realize that it is okay to make mistakes once in a while, as long as they learn from them and accept the consequences.
To the parents who let Little Johnny stay home from school when he's "sick" or let him skip to do fun things with friends, let me share what happens when Little Johnny repeatedly misses work for being "sick". He gets to spend his "sick" days looking for a new job. Now, I'm not saying to send your child to school with a fever or contagious illness. I also get that it can be hard to tell. Heck, I once sent Sophie to school because I thought she was being a baby and she had a temp of 103 and the beginnings of pneumonia. Not my proudest momma moment. But my kids also learned that you can still work with a bit of a headache, a cough, a sore throat, you name it. They learned that sometimes you have to be a little tough and that constantly playing catch up isn't as fun as it sounds. I heard something once that I used to love to tell my kids, eventually they figured out the sarcasm. When they would complain to me I would tell them to "tape an aspirin to it". Funny how that isn't the solution right? That's because some times there are days when you don't feel great but you just get through.
To the parents that do Little Johnny's work for him when it is difficult, let me share what happens when Little Johnny doesn't do his job when he gets older. Little Johnny is replaced by someone who does have a strong work ethic, who does push through even when the task is difficult and who gets the job done. Bosses don't want to hear about how the job is too hard or you didn't get it done because you had something else you would rather do. Bosses like results and they love the employees who get them. Teach your precious baby to be the one who over achieves, goes above and beyond and never turns it in late and you will teach that baby to be the one who rises to the top in their field instead of the one who is constantly looking for the next job after being let go.
Raising kids is hard work. Being the parent that hears "I hate you" or "You're the meanest mom/dad ever!" or "Everyone else's parents let them!" isn't a whole lot of fun. But it isn't my job to be their buddy and make sure I never make them angry, frustrated or sad. It's my job to raise them to be decent human beings who can be an asset to society, not a burden. That means making them a whole lot of angry sometimes and being the "mean" parent more often than not. But you know how I sleep at night?
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