Memes I want to make...

First all of:  Definition of a meme since it is new terminology.  One of those "created by the internet" words.

• a humorous image, video, piece of text, etc. that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users.

And because everything is better with an example:

Now, I've tried several different meme makers, and none of them seem to make it to the completed stage.  Obviously I am meme challenged.  But if I could make a meme, I have a couple ideas.  

#1.  "If you feel the need to judge me, at least be right." 

I'm the first to admit I've made mistakes, and I'm not perfect.  But one thing I've learned, do not judge someone unless you are close to them.  Unless you know the situation they are in AND if you go through all that and still feel like you can make a judgment, make sure you're right.  Nothing more humorous though than someone who is dead wrong spouting off in self righteousness.

#2.  "Take your negative bitter judgmental self over there, to the bottom of that cliff, the long way." 

One thing I'm learning, slowly and have to have it told to me over and over again, is that you need to remove negative people from your life if you want to make your life more positive.  There are just some people who refuse to see the light at the end of the tunnel, refuse to see the silver lining, refuse to see that how they live their life is their choice, they are not a product of their environment.  It's hard enough for a person to do when surrounded by positive people, but when you have someone who is either holding you back, or worse, trying to bring you down to their level, it is impossible.  Cut the ties with whomever it is.  I'm hear to tell you that you will survive and you might even find your life better for it.  And when they make fun of you for your positive attitude it will only serve to amuse you because you will recognize that you are indeed, the happier person.

#3.  "The next time someone says 'it must be nice to be skinny', I'm going to hit them in the face... with a treadmill."
First of all, let me begin by saying skinny does not equal fit and healthy and those should always be someone's primary goal.  So many people start a diet or exercise program to get "skinny" and that is not the goal.  Second of all, I am neither skinny nor fit, but when I was more fit, it was hard hard work.  Hard work and it is offensive to have someone say "it must be nice".  It is nice.  It is nice to know that all your hard work has paid off and you're a healthier person because of it.  Stop trying to find a magic pill, get up and get to work.  Put down the Coldstone cake (this means you Melissa) and choose fruits and vegetables instead.  And even if you don't get "skinny" (man -I've grown to hate that word), you will be healthier.  Just like being negative or positive, being fit or unfit is a personal choice.  

New Year's Resolutions

I'm not one to set and/or follow New Year's Resolutions.  But I have learned about the importance of setting goals over the years and have had the importance of them impressed upon me time and again. So I wrote out an example of a New Year's Resolution essay and figured this was the best place to share it, since this blog is even directly mentioned.

New Year’s Resolutions: 2015

New Year’s resolutions are like goals that a person sets for themselves at the beginning of the new year.  Setting goals or deciding to change things about yourself doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.  Everyone can always better themselves, and I just want to be the best person I can be.  So I looked back on last year and decided on a few things I would like to change.

            First, I would like to make more time for myself to read.  Sometimes it is hard with all the responsibilities of work and being a mom to find time to read books just for fun.  But this break I organized my bookshelves and found so many great books that I have been meaning to read.  Not only do I enjoy reading and use it as a mental break, but reading keeps your mind young.  So my goal is to set aside time each day to catch up on my free reading, even if it is only 10-15 minutes.

            Another one of my resolutions is to prepare for another half marathon.  To do this I will need to sign up for a half marathon, set a training schedule and stick to it.  I have run two half marathons a year for the past two years.  I am hoping to do the same two this year but add a weight lifting component to my training.  I can really feel my lack of dedication to my training the past two months in my overall health.  I’m more aware than ever about the importance of regular exercise and a good diet!  My goal is to train at least 4 days a week using running on the treadmill, elliptical training and weight lifting in various segments. 

            My third and last resolution for 2015 is to do a better job of updating our family blog.  It is a great way to keep track of what our family has been up to and document our ups and downs throughout the year.  It is also fun at the end of the year to look back on it and remember as a family.  I haven’t blogged in months so it will be hard to get back into the swing of things.  I’m going to set an easy goal of once a week for 2015, but I sure hope that I can do it a few more times than that.

            I feel very confident that I will be able to reach the goals I have set for myself in 2015.  Each of them will make me a healthier and happier person for 2015, but aren’t so difficult that I won’t be able to accomplish them either.  What are your resolutions for 2015? 

New job opportunity

I have a pretty good grasp of the English language.  I fancy myself a bit of a writer.  I even have the next Great American Novel stirring around in my brain.  Has been there for 19 years, but I haven't worked on it in years.  Let's just say the last draft is saved on one of those square hard discs that you used to put in a disc drive to give you an idea of how long it has been since I worked on a "story" of any kind.

I did write a rather charming tale called "Chicken Shit and Other Fowl Language" that a few of my close friends claim was entertaining.  But then your close friends often will tell you they enjoy your singing and/or dancing too.  It's the polite thing to do for sure.

But I definitely think I have a good enough grasp of the English language to apply for my next job.  I've decided I can be a shampoo bottle description writer.  I mean, have you read a bottle lately?  What happened to "Lather, Rinse, Repeat"?  Women's shampoo promises everything from hydration, detoxifying, freshening, awaking, blah blah blah...  But the men's shampoo - namely AXE (which is a 3 letter word to all middle school teachers), now those go a little far in my mind.

Do men really believe that one trip to the shower, a little body wash and shampoo and women are going to be falling over themselves?

Mind Your Melon

There's a new sensation that's sweeping the social network scene amongst young equestrians and I couldn't be happier.  It's #mindyourmelon which is a campaign to remind everyone to WEAR THEIR HELMETS.  The kids are sharing it, reminding each other, and being watch dogs for each other.  If anyone posts a picture or video of themselves without their helmets on, you can almost guarantee someone will chastise them and remind them to #mindyourmelon.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "I've never seen Melissa with a helmet on".  You're right.  Other than the required hunt cap, I don't wear a helmet.  I'm an adult.  I figure if I'm going to do something dumb and reckless, I'm old enough to do so and old enough to suffer the consequences.  Even typing it I realize how dumb I sound.  I'm not setting a good example and my kids deserve to have their mother around for years to come.  You can't see me, but I'm raising my right hand and solemnly swearing to wear my helmet.  As soon as I find it.  I think I know right where it is.

Now that we've talked about me, who rides once in a blue moon and tries to never do anything reckless or dangerous.  I'm more of a walk/trot/western lope/trail ride kind of girl.  But when it comes to the younger crowd.... HELMETS ON.  Libby has been grounded for not wearing her helmets.  And by grounded I mean, the worst kind of punishment you can do to a horse crazy kid, grounded from riding.  She knows, if she's on a horse, it's helmets on.  Helmets on young horses.  Helmets on game horses.  Helmets on ANY time you're going over something remotely like a jump.  Helmets on for heavy duty work on broke horses.  Helmets. Helmets. Helmets.  I don't even have to really harp on her any more.  Why you ask?  Because the one time she tried to get away with not wearing her helmet this past winter, was when she took her dead broke, well trained pony for a quick trail ride around her own pasture.  Guess what happened?  He spooked, she fell off, hit her head on one of the few rocks in the pasture and luckily ended up with only a scrape and a mild concussion.  But it was enough of a concussion to scare her just a bit.

Guess why I am so outspoken about kids wearing a helmet?  Another personal example.  She was just 6 and riding her dead broke, super quiet, refuse to even trot pony in the safety of our round pen and she fell off.  She fell OFF when the pony kicked out at something - gosh knows what.  Could have been a disaster when her head bounced off the round pen.  But you know what?  Her helmet still carries the dent, but her head doesn't.

I'm not going to post on every picture I see of kids without helmets that you should "mind your melon".  I'm not going to try to tell people how to raise their kids.  But if you don't require helmets in your barn, I caution you to ask yourself what good reasons you have for not making your kids wear helmets.  Because you managed to make it to adulthood without one is not an excuse.  I managed to make it to adulthood without car seats, seat belts and air bags.  Are you going to argue that those aren't safety features? Oh and I did get a concussion from horse back riding as a teen.  NO fault of my dead broke, nothing quieter on the planet horse, no fault of my stupid teenage self, just riding along and my horse slipped on the mud.  I ended up blacking out and having a concussion.  (Oh and a broken shoulder but that's not entirely relevant.)

My kids will always wear helmets.  Until they are old enough to make those decisions on their own.  Can you give me a good reason why yours shouldn't?  If you can, you should watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzYKX0kPt-E  Then show it to your kids.

Sick of seeing it...

Do you ever have it happen where one of those quote images goes "viral" on your newsfeed?  Sometimes I think it is cute or makes people feel good and everyone wants to share it.  Sometimes it is just too funny not to share, even if you can't really relate.  And sometimes, well sometimes we are trying to get a message across with the images we choose to click "share" on.

But what message are people trying to send with this one?

I'm a benefit of the doubt kind of girl.  So I'm going to guess they are talking about apologizing for something you've done wrong.  Maybe it is just my personal past and experiences that cause this quote to raise the hairs on the back of my neck.

When I read that first line I think the opposite of brave.  The word "doormat" comes to my mind.  Maybe it is because I have spent too much of my past apologizing for things I haven't done to keep the peace.  I refuse to apologize for things I haven't done. I refuse to apologize for things I haven't said.  I refuse to apologize because you want to play the victim and try to twist my words into making you one.  I refuse to apologize for having an adult, rational conversation where I state my feelings and interpretations of your behavior.  I refuse to apologize for standing up for what I believe in, my family, or myself.

The second line makes me cringe.  Forgiveness is earned.  It has to be or doormat comes into play again.  If you keep forgiving someone for making the same mistake over and over, where does that put you? Sorry doesn't mean anything when the behavior doesn't change.  It's pretty simple, sometimes "sorry" doesn't cut it.  Have you read the story of the boy and the nails in a fence?  If you haven't, you should:

The third line... well, forgetting is good.  Not letting others controlling your future happiness is awesome.  But... don't forget it all.  Make sure you don't make the same mistakes twice.  That is key.

Tip Your Server Asshole

Sorry for the language, but I've warned you all once and I'm warning you again.  Tip your server.

Here's the reason why this comes to mind.  This past weekend, on Saturday we experienced a rush of traffic at the Village.  At the time that my one table became frustrated with me I was waiting on a 7, 2, 2, 4 and 12.  My table became frustrated that their food was taking so long.  I went to check on their food and realized to my horror, that I had not submitted their order.  I just don't do that kind of thing.  Man, I was disappointed with myself.  I quickly conferred with the cook, she put their food in immediately and promised me it would be 7 minutes.  Not 10, 7 minutes.

In abject dismay, with my tail between my legs I went back to the table and began apologizing profusely.  Both customers were livid.  And let me know it.  And let me have it.  I offered to buy them pie, ice cream, a gift certificate, and they were having none of it.  The lady exclaimed they had had a horrible dining experience and would never be back.  The husband said, "now wait a minute, we'll take her gift certificate".  And she shook her head, waved her finger at me and made some other remark.  But you know... have you ever had that moment? That moment where everything just piles on and some unfortunate person pushes you past that breaking point?  I never even heard her last scathing remark because I burst into tears and fled to the kitchen.

I was mortified.  Do you know how many years I have been serving? I can honestly not recall another time when I have let someone get to me.  And there have been several over the years.  Heck there was one the previous evening who was not a happy camper because I had let them come in and served them after we were already closed.  How dare I!?  (That table, the girlfriend came back to the restaurant as we were cleaning up, knocked on the locked door, gave me a tip and apologized for her boyfriend who was a "stupid jackass".  Thanks lady!) But even that table didn't get to me and I let this one lady dissolve me into tears.  I'm blaming lack of sleep and life just finally getting me down.

On a happy note, my 12 top that was seated next door must have felt bad for me because they tipped me very well and more than made up for the lack of tip from my elderly couple.  And my boss and coworkers absolutely had my back and took it upon themselves to take care of the table until my angry customers had paid and left.  So, really, this isn't a feel sorry for Melissa type of blog entry.

My point is this.  That lady was only concerned about her service.  She viewed dining as a methodical, clockwork experience with no room for error.  She did not remember that servers, cooks, bus staff, kitchen staff, etc... are all human beings and that there is room for human error.  She did not remember that all of us have lives too.  That no matter how hard we try, some of that baggage from our personal lives follows us to work.  We are not professional actors and actresses.  We do our best, but sometimes...  I used to be like her.  And worse, I thought of myself as an expert because I had been a server so I knew what good service looked like.  But now I know differently.

Now when my server is forgetful or not cheery, I remind myself that I don't know what is going on in her life.  Maybe a family member is terribly ill and she/he can't stop worrying about them.  Maybe she's down to her last dime and trying to figure out how to put food on the table (no pun intended).  Maybe she is going through some type of illness or legal battle herself/himself.  Maybe this is their second or third job and they are entering their 40th, 50th, 60th hour of work for the week.  Maybe her kids are hurting mentally or physically and she's worrying about them.  Maybe she is trying to pay her way through college and gets little time for sleep, and has a test in the morning.  Maybe she overslept.  Maybe she hasn't eaten.  Maybe she is fighting the flu.  Maybe... maybe...maybe.... do you get my point?

Tip your damn server. Or if you're not going to, because you don't feel the need to, then let us know when we arrive at your table.  Save us the trouble of faking that smile, holding back the tears, pretending that the only thing we have to worry about is your favorite dressing on the side.

And LASTLY - All servers start reading here: http://ifyoucantaffordtotip.com/day-life-server-part-1/  And don't stop until you get to the last installment.  Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to not die laughing before you finish.

If you're struggling and you know it clap your hands...

Yep, you can thank me for getting that tune stuck in your head.  You're welcome.  Glad I could help.

Haven't we all had those days.  For whatever reason?  Where we just wish we could pull the blankets up over our heads and stay in bed.  And maybe, even feel sorry for ourselves a little?  There are so many suck it up, put on your big girl panties, pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of quotes out there.  Where is the one that says, "It's okay to be a human and just have a crappy day once in a while".  To feel sad is human, to grieve is human, to want to give up is human.  Why must we feel be made to feel weak if we just let ourselves have a minute, an hour, or a day?

Sigh.  I think we need to remember the following.

And we need to stop judging.  We need to stop saying, "don't let that bother you" or "that isn't a big deal".  Because to that person it is a big deal and by saying, "don't let that bother you" you're saying that their feelings aren't legitimate.  And they are.  What isn't a big deal to you, might be a huge deal to them.  Let them find their peace with it and move on.  Support them.  Empathize, sympathize or shut the hell up.  

To all my friends who are struggling, I'm here for you.  I will let you vent, cry, complain, and then I will help you.  I will help you realize the following:

And then I will remind you to do the following:

And lastly, I'll do my best to make you smile.