Improve Yourself

I have a board on Pinterest called Improve Yourself.  It's not a board about weight loss, hairstyles or learning a hobby.  It's solely about being a better person.  I started on this journey over a year ago.  Gosh, it is so hard.  Ugh.  There are days when I would do anything to revert to sarcasm, judging and putting on my armour of "I don't care".  But instead I remind myself of all the things I've done so far and search for new things to work or read a chapter or two of Brene Brown's book "Rising Strong".  Then I remind myself of this:

A couple of photos that I keep on my phone to refer have been great reminders/guidance for me. 

 First:

Really, can you argue with anything here?  And some of these are so hard! Like #6- I've been working on gratitude for a couple of months now with a gratitude journal, so that's easy.  But #9- tough for me.  Like anything, it gets easier with practice.  But sometimes I think it would be easier to learn to shoot a free throw and I'm the kind of person who can miss the garbage from 3 feet away.

You want even harder.  How about this one?  I literally did not know how to take criticism without becoming defensive and attacking back.  I still struggle.  This is one where I think I could master the mid court shot before I'll master handling criticism. 

What struggles do you have with personal improvement? 

Meditation

My new favorite meditation.  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1CDZGXlHYp8&t=2s

It's hard because I'm so picky.  I like the voice to be relaxing, but not the fakey breathy kind of voice that makes me want to come through my phone and shake the person.  And typically I prefer deep male voices, although they sometimes make me fall asleep.  I figure if I fall asleep during a meditation than it's doing a good job of quieting my mind and helping me relax so I don't worry too much.  

This meditation was shared on Pinterest by an author I follow on there.  She shared her book on Pinterest and it was truly amazing.  For just a couple bucks it really helped me open my eyes and I was even able to incorporate some of her ideas in my classroom. 

In fact, writing about it here makes me want to reread it, it's that good.  

If you struggle with anxiety, as I do, please take 15 minutes and try the "let it go" meditation.  And there is a quote that says something along the lines of that if you don't have time for a 15 minute mediation, then you need to do 30 mins. It can make all the difference!  

And while you're at it, download Debbie's book and see if it doesn't open your eyes to a few things as well.  Happy heartfelt wishes for peace!

The Big Break

Well, I haven't been very good at keeping up here.  No good reasons.  But in a few short days I have an appointment.  It's a big one as it is the final checkup post op for my broken collarbone.  For those who haven't heard the whole story, yes- I got bucked off a horse.  This is the same horse that a month later and not that much more practice, safely carried Libby at a huge horse show with never stepping a foot wrong.  So many people kept asking if this was the same horse that bucked, in disbelief that I finally started responding, "yeah, I just can't ride."  We will probably never figure out what caused her to start bucking that day, as she was fine minutes later when Libby rode her, but I'm just glad it seems to be behind her.

The ER Dr seemed to think I could get by with just wearing a figure 8 harness.  My own doctor took one look at my xray and knew I needed to see a surgeon.  

The surgeon gave me my "options".  I could leave it and see if some cells might drop down and connect the two pieces or I could have surgery and be better in 6 weeks.  I opted for the surgery.  I wasted a week just waiting to get to that point and I wanted to start getting better.  Before surgery, this was what it looked like:

That lump is the bone almost protruding through the skin.  In fact the surgeon said that when he went to open the incision there were only a few layers of skin keeping it from breaking through.  Sure glad I got it fixed.  The day after surgery it was already looking better:

I had to spend way too much time doing nothing or not enough of anything but it is finally getting back to almost normal.

Here's hoping the xray tomorrow shows a healed bone and I get back strength and range of motion before too much longer.  Long term is that I should probably not fall off a horse and land on it again, and the cold is more of a pain in my shoulder than a pain in my ass.  But all in all I feel a lot better than I thought I would at this stage of the healing game! 

You Can Too!

I was running yesterday morning on the beautiful Harmony/Preston bike trail and my handy little fitness app was doing its usual job of informing me on how fast I was clicking off miles and how far I had gone.  At the first thing through my head was that there way I would post my time for anyone to see.  And that got me thinking about how sad it was that I could log nearly 5 miles and still be ashamed of my efforts.  How sad!

Of course, because I overthink most things, it led me to think to myself that there are probably a lot of people who are ashamed or even afraid to start exercising because they are intimidated by their friends who post on social media how fast or far they run or how much they can lift, etc...

I'm here to tell you that you can't let that stop you!  I don't have a problem with people posting their successes on social media, but please don't let that stop you. Don't let the fear of being slow or not going as far, stop you from getting up and doing something.  I refuse to let it stop me or waste another moment thinking I'm not good enough from here on out.  And I promise to remind myself that no matter how slow I go or how short my distance, at least I'm doing something for me and my health.

I think this fear of judgment is really shared by all.  I know lots of my friends who are embarrassed by how slow they go.  Or that they don't have the "right" clothes or that they don't have all the gadgets.  I've been there for sure.  But guess what?  Even if you run in a ratty tshirt or go for a walk in your pjs- it's still something! And even bigger guess what- if you don't share on social media, no one will even know.  Ha!  

You can take heart in that lots of people who are posting their times or level of workout are fudging the truth a little bit.  For the same reason you are afraid to get started.  Too worried about what others are thinking and facing judgment.  Yes, the world would be a better place if we stopped judging others.  But I'm here to tell you, that day isn't around the corner.  You can't let that fear keep you on the couch.  For every person who runs faster or lifts more there are millions of others who would be glad to be able to run or walk as fast as you.  

Keep moving-

Melissa

Getting ready for the show

How do two perfectionists get ready for a horse show you ask? Lots of my non horse friends ask me this and wonder how hard it can be.  Well, it's not hard per se, when you love spending time with horses, but it does involve your fair share of elbow grease.

The day before the show is wash/clip/band day.  Now once upon a time we had a heated wash rack.  Those days have come to pass so now this entails going out to the pasture, hooking up the trailer and driving the horses to town. 

We start by washing.  Every inch of the horse must be wetted down, scrubbed with soap and rinsed.  The tail requires a good scrubbing and conditioner that we let soak in for a good long time.  In Oscar's case...that's a whole lot of tail.  None of our horses like their faces washed so that gets to be a game of who can lift their head the highest.  With the help of a step stool, I always win. 

As they dry, it's banding time.  Banding is putting a series of tiny little pony tails in very precisely so that the mane hair lays down neat and tidy against the neck. On our ponies I would put in around 50+.  Not sure on the big horses.  Oscar's mane has a curl to it and is unruly, Zippys is awesome and Ace wins the perfect mane award.  

After banding, the horses are dry enough to clip.  You can spend big bucks on horse clippers, but I cheat and buy the $20 pairs from the dog section.  All of our horses have different areas they aren't fond of being clipped so we usually have to twitch everyone.  It isn't the nicest thing to do to a horse, but considering how close my face gets to their feet and that I like my face just the way it is, it's what I refer to as a necessary evil. We clip their ears, bridle path (section of mane just behind the ears), faces (especially under the jaw), muzzles and fetlocks/feet area. 

After clipping we put slinkies on to protect their bands and blankets to keep them as clean as possible.  Again, in the old days it was put them in a stall for the night, but now it is back out to the pasture and pray they don't roll and it doesn't rain. 

In the morning we head out to get the horses around 4:30.  This can be a challenge in a dusky or dark 10 acre pasture.  Sometimes the only way we find them is luck.  After fighting a horde of mosquitoes we are loaded and on our way. 

At the show we survey the damages.  Oscar has usually rubbed half his bands out and has to be redone (perfectionist).  Ace will have put a hole in his slinkie somewhere and do a vague impression of Elvis and Zippy, well Zippy always rolls and always has a dirty face.  

After warming them up we bring them back to the trailer for their final show cleanup.  Tails are conditioned again and brushed out.  Zippy gets a tail extension put in to make his tail look longer and fuller.  This is braided into his natural tail to try to make it flow.  Bands are redone or tightened.  Forelocks get brushed and banded.  Ears, nostrils and face are all wiped clean and a clean rag is run over the whole horse.  We use a lady's razor to get the close stubble off their muzzles so they are super smooth and apply a little face shine.  Then the feet.

The feet and lower legs have to be scrubbed.  I use a long handed kitchen scrubber and a bottle of water that we squeeze on to rinse.  Then if we are serious we rough up the hooves with a little sandpaper and apply hoof black or clear hoof polish.  

Last but not least a quick coat of body shine is sprayed on and then right before the class, the most important of the day, fly spray.  Not that any of them last for more than 5 minutes.  But we try.  

And that's it!  The horses are ready to put their best hoof forward as they say.  Anyone want to help for the next one?

Ulcers and Perfectionism

Can someone else's perfectionism give you ulcers?  Serious question here.  Well, kind of serious.  Perfectionism runs in my family.  My dad is the ultimate perfectionist when it comes to the things he loves; cars, singing, carpentry, etc...  I'm a perfectionist when it comes to lots of things.  Loads actually.  And as they say, the tree and the apple, and all that... well Libby takes perfectionism to whole new levels.  And it really hit home this week.

Only my daughter would pass her permit test and then promptly fail the vision portion.  Oh really, that isn't so bad you say.  Right, but she failed because she didn't want to guess.  Since she couldn't see them perfectly, she didn't want to get them wrong and guess.  So... failed.  Red rubber stamp and off to the eye doctor we go.

The eye doctor tests her eyes and says, "Are you sure you don't want to go back and try the test again?  I can't believe you didn't pass it.  Really.  Just guess!"  Honest Abe in the office chair says that she'd rather just get the glasses.  The very nice eye doctor lady checks "corrective lenses optional" and sets us up with a brand spanking new pair of glasses.

It was so fun driving home with her though as she realized what she has been missing all this time.  She was constantly remarking on the signs that she can read now and how sharp everything looked.  It was pretty cool and I'm super happy for you.  It's fun to finally be able to see!

You want to know the really truly funny thing.  Ryan's daughter just got glasses a few weeks ago.  Out of the hundreds of options at the eye center, guess which pair Libby randomly chose?  The same pair as Hailey.  What are the chances!?

Blind as a bat and my kid is too - 

Melissa

You missed me - you really missed me.

I stopped writing in here months ago and figured no one would miss the demise of our family blog.  Here's the shocker... Someone. Actually. Missed. It.  I had someone tell me the other day that they missed reading my blog.  I about hit the ground.  Really?  People are reading this?  Wow.  So for my loyal fans..*cough*.. fan, I will again pick up my keyboard and carry on!

Hmm.. what to write about first... Hmm...  Want funny for my first entry back?  I've got funny.

As many of you know, it's horse show season!  And that means things are bound to get a little crazy.  But even crazier, guess who is back in the saddle?  ME!  Libby and I were trying to think of when was the last year that I showed a full season.  It was a while ago.  Maybe 5 years?  6?  And it shows, believe me, it shows.  But I've made a little progress this summer and I have a good safe horse to ride who challenges me at every show.  So I'm having a blast.

So, with that as my defense, and please forget that even though I haven't been showing I have attended hundreds of shows in the last 6 years, I will tell you about my "duh" moment a couple weeks ago.

There I was, in the sloppiest arena I had ever ridden in.  Giant puddles, literally when we loped we splashed around the arena.  In English Oscar wouldn't even pass off the rail and broke gait whenever I tried.  It was a mess.  This is also the show where the pleasure is after the games.  And Libby being the worrier she is, did NOT want to be late so we had gotten to the show around 10:00 and waited for hours for pleasure to start.  And it is finally the last class of the day.  In I go.

We are splashing around and the announcer calls for a stop.  Right in the middle of the largest puddle on the rail.  And all I could think was that Oscar would not want to turn around in that mess.  And the announcer gives the call "Reverse your horses".  Now you non horse people are going to probably think I was perfectly sane when I started to back my horse up.  Literally I was so relieved because I got to back first and get out of the puddle before we would have to turn around.  The announcer says "Reverse your horses".  Again.  And I was thinking that it was odd that they would make the call to reverse again, but we backed up again. And Oscar backed so nicely.  I was so proud.  Thinking to myself that things are going pretty well, the announcer says again, "Reverse your HORSES".  So I look around wondering what the heck is going on and see everyone facing the other way and then the light dawns on my dim mind.  OH yeah, reverse means go the other way.

I started laughing, the other people in the ring were laughing, the judge was laughing and even the announcer comes on to thank you for the laugh at the end of a long day.  In fact she came by the trailer after my class to thank me as well.  It truly was hilarious.  I was even laughing at myself and don't mind sharing my story one bit!

But then... there was another show a week or so ago when the judge called for our class to reverse on the diagonal.  I even knew what to do.  I waited for the corner, cut across the arena and suddenly realized I was still going the same direction.  How did I manage to attempt to reverse and STILL not get reversed.  Apparently, I still have a few kinks to iron out.  But when I figure out how to go both ways, well, you all had just better watch out!

Happy to be back in the show ring -
Melissa