Juju introduction post

Not sure why it has taken me so long to write this post, but it is past time to formally introduce Juju to our friends and family.  If you follow us on Facebook, Instagram or any of the other social media platforms, then you know all about Juju.  But this post will possibly fill in some of the gaps and is another chance for me to share adorable pics of our new pup.

I know Tim thinks I'm a little horse crazy, and dog crazy, oh and chicken crazy and... well, maybe we shouldn't dig into the many ways that Tim thinks I'm a little crazy.  But basically since the minute Jinx came home we haven't stopped looking for another Aussie.  Possibly another bigger Aussie to be more of a farm dog.  Jinx is a great little farm dog, but she is pretty little.  There is only so much a toy sized Aussie can do, no matter how big their heart, in the way of herding the horses.  Jinx has literally been the perfect family dog.  Every dog is different, but Jinx, in many ways, doesn't fit the stereotypical Aussie profile.  She's quite content to sleep all day and she never really played with toys.  Get her outside and she loves to run and chase and play, but inside she is a model citizen.  She only ever really chewed on one thing and wrecked it (and boy did she look guilty and sorry when I found her with it) and she was quick to potty train despite minimal effort by the girls to do it correctly.  She loves to cuddle and virtually never makes a sound. In fact, the one time she barked inside it was a cause for alarm by the whole family because we were all so shocked.  She doesn't typically whine (unless Sophie locks her out of her room) and she is in general a quiet, content, perfect little pup.  So what does everyone do when they have a good first child?  Have a second one of course!

Libby watched puppy pages and friends' litters for months. She was actively searching the adoption pages and rescues.  She was bound and determined to get her own puppy, one she could take with her when she moves out.  But it had to live with us first so I had final say and I'm very picky.  I know just what kinds of breeds I personally like.  I know which breeds match our family's lifestyle and needs.  I know just what kind of dog I can stand and I know which I can't which is a much larger list.  I know which are allowed by insurance companies after learning the hard way that Rotts, Pits and Dobies aren't.  Finally, just the kind of puppies we are looking for popped up in my news feed.  We didn't need a breed show quality dog.  We didn't need a "fancy" puppy.  We just wanted a sweetheart farm dog to keep Jinx company and be a much loved family pet.  And there were 6 to choose from.  When we got to the breeder's place we fully intended to fall in love with and get the black tri female. And Libby did.   But there was this one puppy that sat back from the rest of the commotion and watched.  AND she was my all time favorite color - blue merle.  Once I picked her up and she snuggled into me it was all over.  Libby was going to have to wait to get her dream puppy because I had found mine.  I had to have that puppy and now all I had to do was beg Tim.  Lucky for me, he's an easy mark.

We brought Juju home and I was super nervous about her meeting Jinx.  Jinx can be kind of nervous around other dogs.  But it was truly love at first sight.  Jinx absolutely LOVES Juju and is pretty sure that we brought her home just for her.  When they aren't playing and wrestling and fighting with each other, one is sleeping on the other.  Libby tells the story of how Juju was having a nightmare and whining in her sleep.  Jinx got up from her spot on the couch to go lay down on Juju and reassure her.  Just this morning I was giving Juju her dewormer and you would have thought I was killing her.  Jinx stopped eating her breakfast to come over and whine and reassure her friend that she was okay.  (And give me a death stare).  They sleep together and play together and are the very best of friends.

However, Jinx and Juju couldn't be more opposite in so many ways.
1.  Juju is most content sleeping ON you, under you,  next to you.  Jinx likes to cuddle but when it is truly sleep time she will get up to go stretch out away from everyone.

2.  Jinx loves her treats and bones and gobbles them down right away.  Juju "buries" everything.  The other day she was so mad at us.  First she tried to bury her bone in the couch cushions so we took it out and told her to just eat it.  Then she went to my bedroom and tried to bury it under the blanket on the love seat.  So we took it out and told her just to eat it.  Next she was trying to bury it under Libby's blanket, then the blanket in her doggie bed, then behind the trunk and lastly she buried it between the quilts hanging on the quilt rack.  We stopped trying to get her to just enjoy her treat at that point.

3.  As I said before, Jinx is QUIET.  Like when she does bark, about once a month, it is a cause for the entire family to take notice and be alarmed.  She only whines, rarely and usually because she can't be right next to Sophie.  Juju is a talker.  She whines, barks, yips, yelps, growls and groans.  Yes, groans when they are wrestling.  She isn't overly loud or obnoxious, just a talker.

4.  Jinx could have her dish of food out 24/7 and would eat a little here or there when she was hungry.  Juju will eat whatever is in the dish until it is gone.  There is a reason Sophie has dubbed her "Chubs".

5. Jinx is timid.  She loves our family, but is leery of strangers.  Juju doesn't know the meaning of the word timid.  She's fearless.

6.  Jinx was never one to play with toys.  She had a couple she would chew on and shake, but for the most part she wasn't in love with the whole squeaky toy idea.  Juju has made great use of every single one of Jinx's forgotten and bypassed toys.  She loves a good game of fetch and she loves to squeak her toys.  A lot.

I'm sure there are more ways that will come to mind, but the real truth is that they are both wicked smart and both the sweetest dogs on the planet.  We couldn't ask for two more perfect additions to our family. Yes, we are back to potty training and puppy patrol.  But we are also back to puppy breath, puppy kisses and puppy snuggles.  It doesn't get any better.  Juju came to us as Jinx's little buddy and she's fast passing her.  Our little Chubs is growing up so fast! 

My kid can't read!

I see people, posts, articles all the time about the progress of students as readers.  Of course if a student can't read or read well the blame is always placed firmly at the feet of educators and schools.  But let's take a step back from the hate train for once and instead of looking outside the home, let's look inside our own walls for a second.  What has changed from when we were kids in school to kids in school today?  And what messages about reading are we as parents sharing with our own kids?

If I have heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times, "I wasn't a good reader either so I'm not surprised my kid isn't."  Here's what I know.  I know that if you have told me in parent teacher conferences, you have told your child this at some point as well.  While you have said it with the good intention of making your child feel better about themselves, what you've really given your child is two things:  1.  You made reading something that is a trait a person is "born with" (which is is 100% NOT).   2.  You made it okay for the kid to say, "I'm not good at it, I won't be good at it, I don't have to try."     Please, for the love of Pete, do not say this to your child.  Reading is a skill just like any other skill out there.  If your child can learn to tie their shoes, dribble a basketball, or play Fortnite, they can learn to read.  Do some students need to work harder at this skill than other?  For sure.  But reading is work.  Reading takes time to master.  Reading is a skill to learn like any other.  Don't give your child that out.  Tell them that anyone can learn to read and say it with conviction.  Tell them that you struggled with reading too, but then add, "so I will practice reading with you because it is super important to get better at reading".  And most importantly, model reading to your child!

Which brings up my next point - what did our homes look like growing up?  How did your parents model reading with you as a child?  Did they get the newspaper and read it?  Did they read a book or magazine?  I feel like our parents did a much better job of modeling reading in their homes than many of us do.  They had too.  The news and information weren't readily available via the world wide web so our parents turned to print resources.  Magazines.  How many of you grew up with magazines in your house (maybe parked next to or on the toilet)?  Newspapers were delivered to our doors, etc...  The written word was more prominent and obvious when we were growing up.  Not all of our parents modeled reading a good book, but virtually all of our parents modeled reading SOMETHING.

Back in the dark ages, there were fewer toys for kids so books were a popular choice.  Books on everything and anything.  Pop up books still thrilled kids, we weren't used to interactive technology yet, we were more easily impressed.  I had a ton of books as a child. I remember being fascinated by my Wizard of Oz book with the pop ups, the slide outs, the flip the shape, etc... As I got older other types of books inspired me and thrilled me.   I still have many of those childhood books today as they were my most prized possessions.  The most exciting day in the school year was the day the book fair opened and after that was over I would ride the mini high of each and every book order that came through my back pack.  I'm not going to lie.  As a teacher I still live for the book order each month and enjoy ordering from Scholastic almost as much as I did as a kid.  But the sad thing is that, even in my few years as a teacher, I have watched the number of books ordered on book orders fall off to nearly zero.  It's sad to me as a teacher, but more importantly as a mother, that fewer and fewer kids are being surrounded with and encouraged to lose themselves in the world of literature.   I get it, you order books for your kids that they never read.  Believe me, I've ordered a few books for myself that I still haven't gotten to.  But books don't break down, they don't run out of batteries, and they are there when the power goes out.   If buying books for your child isn't an option, check out the library.  Free books!  You just have to return them AND make sure the dog doesn't eat them.  (This on the day that a student literally brought me back a book his dog ate.)

I'm not saying all schools are doing a knock out job of teaching reading. I'm not even claiming I do a knock out job of teaching reading.  But I will say that, like in many cases, when we point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing directly back at us.  Even as a reading teacher myself, I haven't always succeeded in promoting reading at home.  There are a loads of strategies I could have used to encourage my kids to read more, that I wish I would have used.  I'm lucky that one out of the four loves to read and I have high hopes for a second.  Hopefully it is never too late to learn to love reading because I cannot imagine where I would be today if it weren't for my love of literature.

Barbershop Harmony - It's not just for musicals

I have another blog in the works about the power of gospel music.  Also in the past I have blogged about other forms of music, artists and songs.  I briefly mentioned barbershop in one of those blogs, but today I've decided to take a little space and talk about barbershop music since it was such a huge part of my life growing up.  Enough that I shared barbershop with  my own kids and still listen to it today.

Barbershop harmony is a 4 part acapella (sung without any instruments) harmony consisting of the melody line being sung by the "lead", the highest harmonizing part being sung by the "tenor", the lowest harmonizing part being sung by the "bass" and the "baritone" filling in the missing part of the chord.  Barbershop began over a hundred years ago with its roots in the African American tradition in the south of quartets "cracking out a chord" at the local barbershop while waiting for their cut and shave.

My dad and his quartet, Simply Grand.

Barbershop was beginning to fade in 1928 when a few men, most notably O.C. Cash, decided to get together and celebrate by singing some of their favorite 4 part songs.  The next meeting included a few more friends to share in the love of singing and the third meeting had over 150 men singing on the rooftop of a hotel in Tulsa, OK.  This created quite a crowd as you can imagine and a newspaper writer saw a good story.  When he interviewed Cash, Cash claimed that they were part of this grand nationwide organization called "The Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barbershop Quartet Singing in America".  Reminder that at this time FDR was putting forth his "alphabet soup" of domestic policies.  This lengthly group name was indeed poking a little fun.  They had no idea that the name would stick.  "SPEBSQSA" is still active and internationally known today.

Growing up, our family vacations were mostly trips to various contests or conventions where my dad would perform with his quartets and choruses around the United States.  The years passed in a flurry of groups of 4 men gathering at each others' homes to practice.  Those practices were sometimes rushed after a hard days work or often family affairs with wives and children getting together as well.  We all became like family.  I grew up on potlucks, Super Bowl parties and campouts where singing was the glue that tied us all together.  When the Barbershop conventions came to town, a flood of barbershoppers would descend upon the hotels and restaurants surrounding the hotels.  Some of my favorite memories are riding in elevators or waiting in lobbies with a group of men at those conventions.  If there were all four parts of the harmony represented in the group, they were destined to break into song.  Every barbershopper worth his stripes knew the familiar tags to songs like Sweet Adeline and Hello My Baby.  And over the years, I grew to know them too.

I grew up loving barbershop harmony and everything associated with acapella music.  I used to delight in seeing a barbershop quartet depicted in TV or music.  It was like an instant connection to whatever I was watching.  Who doesn't love the old traditional barbershop quartet with the striped jackets and straw hats? Even my all time favorite show Friends has a few episodes where they used a barbershop quartet to send a singing telegram.  Don't click the link if you're offended by the phrase "Buttmunch"

Friends with quartet episode

Today's barbershop quartet is a far cry from the old Lida Rose/Music Man quartet.  Today's choruses and quartets perform everything from gospel to Disney to contemporary pop, rock or country.  You can find choruses to join or listen to in almost every major city and if you're more a fan of the female singing voice, there are a lot of Sweet Adeline groups out there too.  I even sang with the Sweet Adeline's in Harmony, MN for a few years.  Of course high school and high school stuff got in the way of that, but I'll always cherish those memories.

Speaking of memories, let's talk about this great moment.  This is one moment that I will never forget and I'm so thankful my mom got photographic evidence.  This was at Disney World, 1995.  In one of the barbershops they had the quartet "Dapper Dans" singing traditional barbershop harmony.  I know my dad sang one with them and then somehow they heard that I knew the female part to Lida Rose from Music Man.  This will always be a treasured memory, on a family vacation and getting to sing with the Dapper Dans for a small crowd at Disney World.

I have a million personal stories to share about contests, or campouts, or long drives to convention locations.  Instead of boring you all to tears, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quartets from a few years ago, singing one of my favorite songs of theirs.  Have you seen the fun kids' film, Little Patch of Heaven?  Enjoy!

Crossroads: Little Patch of Heaven

Love Languages

How many of you have read the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman?  I read it years ago when I was trying to save a relationship that honestly should not/could not be saved.  But it wasn't because of the failures of the love languages.  It was because said ex didn't care what my love language was.  In fact, I believe his response was something along the lines of the fact that it didn't matter what my love language was. I couldn't demand people love me a certain way and he would "love" me how he could love me and I could like it or not.  Sounds like a loving relationship, doesn't it?  Truthfully the basis of the problem with that relationship was evident in how hard I was working to trying to make it work.  As I've said before, if you're spending that much time trying to fix, repair or make a relationship work, it isn't worth fixing, repairing or the amount of effort you're putting in.  Love shouldn't be that hard. 

Love is something that requires some conscious effort though.  It isn't just what happens when it happens.  Thinking about our loved ones and how we can better love them is one part of that, but the fact that we care enough to wonder HOW we can make our loved ones know they are loved is the biggest telling factor there is.  Once someone else is important enough to you that you want them to know they are loved, the sky is the limit.  Once we make another person's happiness important to us, that is when we truly know what it means to love and be loved. 

So what are "love languages" you ask?  Truly you need to read the book to completely understand it all.  And I recommend his other books about love languages for your kids as well.  Understanding how someone feels loved is 100% the best way we can love them.  However, the basic premise behind the books is that there are 5 ways that people feel most loved.  Once you identify how your partner likes to be loved you can focus your energy on showing them the way they connect to the most.  Also, identifying your personal love language helps you to understand why you may or may not be noticing how your partner is loving you.  The truth is that we often SHOW love in the way we wish to RECEIVE love.   This can create problems. 

For example, my love language is personal touch.  I like to hold hands, cuddle, and hug.  I love hugs.  The best way that Tim can show me he loves me is to be physically close to me and demonstrate physical affection.  If we are driving in the car and he doesn't hold my hand, I start to get anxious and wonder if he is mad at me.  If I hug him and he doesn't respond by dropping what he is doing and hugging me back, I get all hurt.  HOWEVER,  if I were to guess what Tim's love language is, I would guess acts of service.  Knowing this helps me realize that when he is folding the laundry and I interrupt him by hugging him and he doesn't stop, it doesn't mean he doesn't love me, it means he is showing me that he loves me using the love language he knows best.  Tim is constantly doing things for me.  He works harder than any man I have ever known (except maybe my dad) and will come home and do some chore for me with the horses or unload the dishwasher.  He will wake up in the morning to help me with chores on his mornings off from milking or spend his free time shoveling snow to move a round bale in.  Nobody tell him how he can just show me he loves me by hugging me or I'm going to really ruin this good I've got going. 

I can also tell what his previous interactions with women were like.  Someone along the way convinced Tim that "receiving gifts" was their love language.  He loves to surprise me with little gifts like treats in my car, or a sweet card.  To be honest, I can tell you exactly which person taught me that same lesson so we both have gotten pretty good at that one.  Truthfully, gifts aren't my favorite way to know that I am loved.  But just because I am stronger in one area, doesn't mean I don't appreciate all of the love languages.  (For the record, Tim, I love the treats and cards you leave me - just make sure to follow them up with lots of hugs.) Having a strength or preferred love language doesn't mean you don't appreciate all the others as well.

Also something that I have noticed in myself is that my love languages have changed some over the years.  There was a time in my life when "words of affirmation" would not have been high on my list of love needs.  Years of emotional abuse has changed that for me.  Words of Affirmation is probably now second on my list of love languages.  I need that reassurance that I am loved and worthy of being loved in the eyes of those that matter to me.  If I had to guess I'd say that Words of Affirmation is a strong second to Physical Touch.  When you've been told for years that you are not worthy of being loved by different significant others, it isn't easy to be convinced that there is someone in the world who doesn't believe that. So yeah, tell me that - and often please. 

Again - I highly recommend purchasing and reading the book for you and your loved ones.  It isn't terribly long and is written in an easy to read format for all.  It's worth it for yourself and those you love for you to identify your personal love language, if for no other reason than self awareness.  If you don't have time right now to read the book, but are curious about your personal love language, there is an online quiz here  Click here that you can take to get a head start.  Make sure to answer honestly - no one else is watching.  There is also this paper and pencil version that may or may not be easy to read.

Whichever language you choose, make sure that you show your special someone that you love them every day  Remember, you don't always have to match their love language.  Each and every way you show someone you love them is important.  It's important that we constantly keep showing them we love them.

Journaling to me is....

Every year I start each of my classes with a few minutes of journaling.  Some students love this activity and others fight me tooth and nail.  You'd be amazed at the ways that students can avoid writing a few sentences.  This year we have been working on our growth mindset journals so the topics are all related to building our growth mindsets and moving forward with a more positive life.  I'd love to say my personal journal is like that.  Unfortunately, that isn't always true.  I do journal about the positive, but my journal is full of its own fair share of venting and recording of some of the crappier side of life. 

Why journal you ask?  I've always been the kind of person that deals with things by writing them down.  I can't tell you how often I have written pages of responses to people that I would never actually send.  It's a skill I have shared with my students and I hope they learn.  Instead of sending that snarky, sassy, or downright nasty text or email, write it down and delete it.  Then wait 24 hours and write a more compassionate and relaxed response.  It took me a long time to learn that, but here's hoping my kids learn faster than I did.  So instead of sending that email or text, I write it out in my journal.  Taking the high road is really hard.  I feel like the wealth of sarcastic and snide comments that I keep to myself is a huge waste of my dark sense of humor.  For example, when someone felt the need to try to point out how we are bad parents because we don't have a paper grocery list in our house my automatic response was "I do have a grocery list, ON MY PHONE.  Because you know, it's like 2019 and stuff.  It's called "technology"."  But did I send that back?   No.  Because responding to snide and sarcastic comments never ends well when dealing with hostile people.  Honestly, only myself - well and maybe my future great grandchildren - will ever see what I've written.   It kind of makes me laugh to think of what those future generations may say.  They are either going to think I'm incredibly witty (and salty) or one giant.......  Hopefully there is enough positive and good stuff that they know I was a good person, most of the time. 

As often as I vent about things that make me angry or responses I wish I could send, I write out what is bothering me or worrying me.  It might seem to others that by writing it out I am dwelling on the negative.  But the truth is that once I write it all out, it is almost like I've given it away.  Once it is written; the issues, problems, struggles, etc...I will often reread them and a solution will present itself, or I will realize that I've done everything I can and truly need to just let it go at that point.  These entries are also good to read months and years later.  I can see how I faced tough times and I can be more thankful for the positive direction my life is moving. 

Also included in my journal are keepsakes.  It does get quite thick quite fast.  I put in treasured cards from loved ones (and even a couple from students that were touching or make me happy.)  I have post it notes with little quotes or notes from family.  I have printed off blogs or journals that family have written.  I have my name tags from parent's night, pictures of cool trail obstacles, and pictures that students have drawn me.  Those happy memories take up some space but are totally worth it.  I never get tired of leafing through my journals and reading those sweet messages.  Those keepsakes make my day when I'm having a tough time. 

I use my journals to remember when things happened.  Sometimes we are like "when did we get Jinx" or "when was it that so and so was sick".  I can't remember what I had for dinner last night so trying to remember what happened a year or two ago is impossible.  My journals are practically a living/breathing timeline of events in our family.  Not only do I know what was happening.  I know how it made me feel (and possibly others as well).  Looking back at those memories is always interesting to see the growth or the progress from that point until the current day.  More often than not, events that were all consuming at the time are barely a blip on our personal radars months later.  It definitely has a way of putting life into perspective. 

Journaling makes me happy.  I know it isn't for everyone.  Journaling is highly personal and private.  Some people enjoy online journaling, I prefer a good old notebook with my favorite pen or pencil.  I tried online journaling but found I never looked back through them and worse - I feared the website shutting down eventually and losing it all.  I mean, who still listens to 8 tracks?  Everything technology based disappears down the road.  Paper and pencil is forever (or for as long as anyone will care about the thoughts and musings of Melissa).  Someday I will have stacks and stacks of notebooks (or my current favorite - the hard cover/lined book), to keep in a treasured spot.  I already have a good selection.  Maybe someday I should assign someone to dispose of them, but really - after I'm gone, who cares?  Maybe reading about how I felt like a failure because I never learned how to make cinnamon rolls or that I cried, a lot, about everything from horses to sad movies to the sweet things my kids said to me, will make their grandma, great grandma or great great grandma seem a little more human.  And maybe, someday, it will help my descendants know that they come by that emotional side quite honestly. 

When China is sick

I'm sure some of you non horse people are probably sitting there thinking, well first, who is China?  And then when I tell you that China is my horse you're probably thinking to yourself, "don't you just the vet and they fix it?"  Of course that seems logical, but sometimes they can't figure out what's wrong, or treat it effectively.  Of course that is for a few reasons.
#1 - Nothing with horses is every easy. 
#2 - They seldom want to get better as they seem to enjoy making us worry, fret and lose sleep. 
#3 - They are the pickiest eaters on the planet unless it is something they AREN'T supposed to eat like noxious weeds. 
#4 - They are incredibly large animals that take an incredibly large amount of drugs (which are, of course, quite expensive).
#5 - Horses can't talk and tell you where it hurts or what is going on.

Our first thought was that China might have ulcers. You may be wondering how a person discovers their horse has ulcers. Well, let me explain a little of the back story.   I'm learning a lot about ulcers,  kind of a crash course in a subject I had hoped to stay in the dark about.  For years I have watched on horse forums where people would post about their horse having ulcers and being silently thankful that I didn't have to deal with it.  It sounded like an expensive and time consuming process.  I was thankful that my horses lived a life that was not conducive to developing ulcers.  They live on 24/7 pasture.  Low starch/sugar diets.  Lots of free range forage.  Friends to play with.  Low stress/low pressure training.  Only a few shows a year.  The list goes on.  I associated ulcers with those naturally high strung horses, kept in stalls with little herd interaction and fed loads of grain.  Turns out, that the most chill horse in our pasture, with the most chill life on the planet, was the one horse of ours to possibly develop ulcers.  So far.  (I say so far, because I live by and respect Murphy's Law and am not one to tempt fate.)  I would love to say it happened all of a sudden, but the truth is I saw it coming for weeks, possibly months and I didn't trust my gut and do something about it back when I first became concerned.

It was a couple of weeks ago now when China's enthusiasm for her grain and hay started diminishing.  It would take her longer and longer to finish her grain and she ate less and less hay. She stopped nickering when she saw me coming with her bucket and she stopped running up to her bucket.  But her weight maintained so I just thought she was leveling off, done with a growth spurt or maybe the cold was dulling her appetite.  I figured she didn't have anyone to compete with for her food so she wasn't "in a hurry" or worried about chasing anyone off.

However, the big red flag went up when we had the polar vortex hit us in the middle of the week.  All the ponies ate hay like they were 18 hand draft horses on a binge.  China picked at hers and it took her all day to finish her grain, leaving a little behind each feeding.  Then came the big warm up just a few days later and China went completely off her feed.  Other horse owners can relate to the pure horror of going to feed your horse and finding the previous meal still in their feeder.  Non horse people may not understand that horses will eat grain until they literally kill themselves.  For a horse to leave behind a ration of grain they previously loved is unheard of and a reason for panic.  I'm sure my vet wishes she had never contacted me via her phone and given me her number because I sent off a rapid fire panic text on a Sunday afternoon.  True to form, she responded back that she had put me in the books and would be over the next day.  And then I started praying.  Praying that it would be an easy fix, but I had a sinking feeling about ulcers in the back of my mind already.

The next day China was put through the ringer.  She was sedated and had her teeth floated.  It would have been the easiest fix if she had a retained cap or some big old nasty tooth issue.  Unfortunately, other than a few minor hooks and some waves, she didn't really have any tooth issues.  She had bloodwork pulled, vaccinations given, more bloodwork for coggins and a general work up from head to toe.  Everything sounded good, which is a relief, she wasn't running a temp, and her bloodwork came back mostly normal.  In fact, the only warning signs on her bloodwork pointed straight at ulcers.  Low protein due to not eating and anemic due to the internal bleeding.  Sigh.  So we had a choice, haul to the nearest equine hospital and have her scoped for uclers OR start the treatment and if she got better we knew we had the cause.  Have you ever hear the phrase, "if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it is probably is a duck"?   Yeah.  We went with that plan and started China on the treatment for ulcers.

Let's discuss the treatment for ulcers.  According to vet science, you know, those people who went to college and stuff, the only acceptable treatment for ulcers in horses is the drug omeprazole.  It's expensive and needs to be given for a couple weeks on an empty stomach.  Not so easy for people who work and have active kids and aren't around all day to squeeze in that medicine.  But when its your very best pony, you make it work.  Snow days help too of course.  And then once we are done with the paste we will have to have some kind of preventative in place.  A feed on supplement of some kind that will help prevent her from developing additional ulcers because now she will be more prone to getting them. This is where you literally have a million options to choose from and if you ask a horse person what they think you will have a million stories of what works and what doesn't but they will all contradict each other.  I honestly think it is some giant conspiracy by horses in general.   Maybe they all get together on the weekends and try to come up with ways to drive us all batty and keep us all arguing on social media with each other. "All right guys, tomorrow I'm going to refuse to eat my grain with the Gastroplex on it.  Previously I have scarfed it down because it is pretty tasty, but wait until you see Janet FREAK out when I won't touch the stuff tomorrow.  Totally worth the hunger pains later.  She will literally blow her entire paycheck on other treats to get me to eat it."

However, China didn't get better with the ulcer meds and in fact, got worse.  She became lethargic and despondent and spent most of her day standing with her head hanging, or nibbling at her hay but not truly eating any.  The vet came back out and this time we discovered a mild temp.  Her bloodwork this time showed mild levels of infection and she was started on pain meds and a broad spectrum antibiotic.  She got to spend a couple of days in a stall and here is what I discovered.  She's impossible and trying to figure her out makes my head hurt.  But she is a boss mare and boss mares like to boss.  It helped to have her with a buddy next to her because when Mercy ate, China felt she needed to eat too.  After a couple of days she finally finished a hay bag of hay and ate her grain.  So China got to go out.

We decided to try something else new.  let's give China someone to boss.  So China went out with the pony mares.  Low and behold, either it is because she is feeling better or because she has buddies but China is back to pinning her ears and moving the ponies out of her space to get her grain.  Last night she even did her old trick of eating some of her own and then moving along and pushing others away from their grain to see if they got anything better.  I'm NOT complaining.  I made a solemn vow that if she got better I would no longer call her a cow or yell at her for eating.  It's actually a huge relief to look out the window and see her at the round bale (even if it is only a grass round bale and not the good alfalfa stuff she was eating).  So now we hope and pray that we got ahead of whatever it was and we try to add some good stuff back into her grain to see if she will keep eating it.  Fingers crossed on that one.  I'm terrified to try adding anything yet as she just started eating again.

So what did I learn about myself when China is sick?  Well, for one - I'm entirely head over heels in love with this horse and can't and do no not want to picture life without her.  I can and will cry over "just a horse" for days in a row.  A person can survive on a remarkably small amount of sleep for several days in a row.  I'm lucky to have a hubby who knows and understands that she isn't "just a horse" to me and holds me while I cry, all the while trying to reassure me that she will be okay and we are doing all we can.  I care entirely too much about the eating and pooping habits of a creature that would gladly never see me again as long as someone was bringing her food and making sure her needs were met.  I'm also lucky to have vets who respond to endless nervous/worried/frantic texts and listen to me describe the amount consumed at every meal and the consistency of every pile of poop.  And lastly, I will never be cured of my anxiety as long as I care so deeply about 4 legged critters.

I think and hope and continue to pray that whatever was bothering her, we are on the healing side of things.  She has lost a significant amount of weight in the last week or so that she has been sick. It will not be easy to put that weight back on right away as I don't want to add things to her grain that may make her stop eating it and I don't want to pull her off the round bale of grass since she is eating that as well.  But she is eating!  And that is a step in the right direction.  For my sake and hers, that is what I'm going to focus on for the time being and hope the other things fall into line with prayer and time.  Thank you for keeping China in your thoughts and prayers!  And for the person out there who came up with the phrase, "healthy as a horse", shame on you - you obviously never owned one!

ETA:  And now she's off her feed again.  Hopefully will have a positive update soon.  For now, continue to keep China in your prayers as we struggle to figure out how to help her. 

They're all my babies

It's that time of year again.  It's time for the annual FC vs DE basketball game.  There are a few times every year when my Sophie puts on a jersey and competes against the girls who were her very best friends and teammates for the first 12 years of her life.  In the fall it is a volleyball jersey and last week it was the basketball one.  Then just a couple days later it was back across the net for JO volleyball.  These games are always so bittersweet.

Each game I try to be a loyal Eagles fan and cheer my daughter and her team on to victory.  But there is a huge part of me that looks at those Falcon girls as my very own too.  So I can't help but celebrate when they make a hit, a dig, a basket or a great catch.  Very often at games I get a lot of confused and unhappy looks from the fans around me.  Such was the case on Thursday night.  As I cheered for various girls on the opposing team I had a nearby fan ask me, "Who are you cheering for anyway?"  I laughed and explained, "All of them?"  This is one of those times where "sorry not sorry" would definitely apply. 

People have to understand what it is like to be a teacher.  For those 9 months that your child is in my room, they are one of "my kids".  I worry about them, I celebrate with them and sometimes I cry with them.  I treat them as I would treat my own with high expectations but with great joy and concern as well.  I spend more time with them than many of their parents do each day and we get to know each other very well.  Students will often talk with and tell their teachers things that they would never tell their own parents, especially about friends and friendships.  These kids become my kids and each one of them will always be one of my kids, even years later.  So yes, when I see one of them on the court or the field years later, I'm cheering for them.  I want success for them, not just because I still consider myself a Falcon (as an alumni and teacher), but because I want the best for "my kids". 

When you add in the fact that many of the girls on Sophie's team were literally her best friends then I have a real conundrum.  These girls were literally "joined at the hip".  They went everywhere together, did everything together, planned Halloween costumes together and exchanged gifts at birthday parties.  They knew everything about each other and yes, they loved each other.  Some of my favorite memories of Sophie as a little girl include Lauren, Marissa, Kendyl , Gracie, etc...   They became part of our family and will always be a part of our family. 

Moving Sophie from her tight knit group of friends was the hardest part of us starting our new life together with Tim and his family.  When Sophie first joined the Eagles I took an Eagles t-shirt and a Falcons t-shirt and sewed them together to show my divided loyalties.  That shirt has somehow disappeared from my drawer, but that doesn't stop me from being both a Falcon fan and an Eagles fan rolled into one. I will always cheer for ALL my girls, no matter what the crowd thinks.  As one of "my girls'" dads said, "Just tell those that ask that they are all your babies."  He may have said it with a smile, but he's dead right.  Those girls are are always will be my kids.  Go Falcons! (and Eagles!)