I think part of the problem is the anti-mare people are pretty darn vocal about it. In fact, if you have ever tried to sell a mare, you know how the story goes. Someone posts and "in search of" ad and what do they say 90% of the time, "Geldings only please" or "No mares!" People are afraid of mares. There are a million memes going around about "resting mare face" and "nothing scarier than a chestnut mare". Even mare people will admit that sometimes mares can have their moments where they say "no thanks". But let's just talk about that for a minute. Usually, okay maybe every single time, there is a very logical and legitimate reason for why a mare says "no thanks". And usually, after I look back on those moments I realize how dang smart those mares truly are. Because let's face it, (hides a little as she says it), mares are smarter than geldings. C'mon gelding people. Admit it. You have to show a gelding 3- 4 times and then, maybe, the slow 40 watt light bulb will flicker. A mare, you show her once. She says nah, you show her again and she says, "fine, if I do this will you leave me the hell alone and be HAPPY?" Ta da - trained that mare.
In all seriousness though, I thought I was a gelding person. I thought mares were bitchy and cranky and not very cuddly. Who knows why I thought that? I fell into social norms? Because we literally had a LOT of very very nice mares, who were cuddly and loving and very good to our family. Giggles, Gretchen, Chic, Shadow (the second one) and Cutie just to name a few. I bought Ellie on a whim because she was so reasonably priced and I knew the guy who owned her was as honest as the day was long. And that mare was wicked trainable. Like, "show her one time and she's got it" trainable. And she was loving and cuddly too. And quiet. And because everyone always freaks out about the dreaded "heat cycle" and throws around the word "marish", no - she was not "marish" and you never knew she was even in heat. So why not have two Ellies? Libby found another "Ellie" in that the two were as closely related as we could find. Voila! China came into our lives. As Libby loves to tell people, China was supposed to be her horse. But Libby was busy with Ace and Zippy and well, who didn't have a horse? Me. So I started working with China. The rest as they say is history.
However, just because it is history, doesn't mean I'm not going to take the blog space here to write about the amazingness that is China. Keep in mind that when I started working with China I was coming from having ridden four geldings in a row prior to her. (Not counting the few rides I had gotten on Ellie before she got hurt). Those four geldings all had one thing in common to a varying degree. They LOVED their buddies. Some worked through it better than others, but they all had some form of buddy sour going on. A couple were really good at the whinnying through entire classes, while still loping or doing their thing. They all had their good points too, and I loved those big dumb geldings, but dang was that frustrating. They were also literally big, DUMB, geldings. Lovable, cuddly, DUMB geldings. They learned plenty and improved a lot - but boy did they take some convincing.
Enter China. From the minute I started working with her I would tell people how wicked smart she was. So smart that it was a little intimidating. She would pick up on things immediately, good and bad things. You always had to be thinking to be one step ahead of her. It was a little frightening to say the least. But also, great fun. Starting her under saddle was easy peasy. She's quiet, steady and smart. She could give a rip less if her buddy is next to her or back at the barn. She trusted her humans and we made great strides. Starting her was so easy.
As she has grown and been put into more and more stressful situations, she has shocked us to no end and really strives to do the right thing. Does she drive me out of my blooming mind sometimes? Yep. But will she almost immediately go back to resting her head in my lap, or putting her forehead against my chest to say she's sorry? Yep. Is she ever going to be a 10+ loper? Nope. Do I love that mare to the end of the earth and back. Uhh... yep. As Tim always tells me, every little thing that she does that drives me crazy is LITERALLY an exact quality that I have as a human. Social anxiety. Check. Crabbiness when overtired, hot, cold, wet, or things aren't exactly as we would prefer to have them? Check. Anxiety and nervousness when performing in front of a crowd? Check. Craves attention and need constant reassurance that they are loved? Check.
Looking back over all the horses we have owned over the years (and that has been a LOT), I came to the startling revelation that I'm a mare person. Hands down, no doubt about it, heart firmly in the mare column and not going anywhere soon. There's a long list of mares to thank for that, but it took China to finally make me realize it. And for the record, I may have told China this startling revelation. In response, she may have given me a side eye, deep sigh and a look that clearly reminded me that she already knew, always knew and thinks I'm a little slow on the uptake. She isn't wrong.
I'm a mare person. Should we start a support group? Who's with me?
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