Save the Date

I know you all know about the engagement.  Heck, it was Facebook official months ago.  And it seemed pretty “real” then.  But as the months went by and we didn’t set a date or pick a venue or make any real plans or decisions, the wedding came to be something that “might” happen, someday.  For the past 7 months I have been asked more times than I can count if we had set a date yet.  I always had to respond that not really, but we were thinking about January of 2018.  It was a vague, far off date that almost felt unreal.  

People who know the old me would think I would be more than okay with that.  Heck, how many times did I proclaim that I was never getting married again.  I’m sure you all lost track.  But one man definitely changed that for me.  He changed everything. I guess you could say that THIS finally happened.

 I cannot wait to be his wife.  And I was getting impatient for a date to be set.  However, we were waiting for things to fall into place.  It seemed like an impossible task. But then rather out of the blue everything did start to fall into place. We got the go ahead to set a date and it's officially official. We booked a venue and a photographer and… it’s getting real folks!  It will be here before you know it.  We have a date set of July 22, 2017!  Six months from now I will get to marry the man of my dreams, my best friend, and we get to start our lives together as man and wife.  So excited!

We are Warriors!

Sometimes I think I should start blogs with a warning, like today’s blog, I should warn you all that this is a rambling blog that should be a spinoff of “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey”.  Perhaps these thoughts are not all that deep, but I can guarantee you they won’t be that funny.  So you’ve been warned.

Today, in my Facebook memories (which remind me to come back to on another blog), a quote that I shared last year at this time popped back up.  It was a quote from one of my favorite books as a child, The Velveteen Rabbit.  Which, incidentally, is also the book that caused me to treat my toys better and never give or throw one away because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.  To me the quote is probably one of the most powerful messages I have ever read.  I love that it talks about becoming real, but to become real is a real struggle.  Sometimes that struggle leaves us looking and feeling a little worn out, but to those who understand and appreciate it, we will never be ugly.  Wow.  Don’t we all need to be told this and reminded of this.  

So many times friends and I are talking and we talk about how we are messed up, how we have these insecurities, how we don’t feel good about our weight, our wrinkles, our gray hair, our personalities, our jobs, our financial status, etc…  When I shared that quote a year ago, I was struggling with being called “emotional” and “crazy” by someone close to me.  But this quote helped me see that was okay.  That is what happens when you are real.  And those that understand and love us will be okay with that too.  Those are the people that count.  

It’s ironic that the following quote popped up somewhere this week also.  I can’t remember where I initially saw it, but it goes along with the “rabbit” quote so well.  So much of my life I have been made fun of for being emotional; quick to tears, quick to anger, quick to laugh and quick to worry.   I’ve worked and worked on the negative parts, anger and worry, but I’ve also grown to realize that part of all this emotion is just who I am.  I notice things, I notice people and I care.  That’s not always such a bad thing.  Yes, it makes my life more difficult.  But I can’t and maybe more importantly, shouldn’t shut that off.  

I jokingly tell people, including my students - and I might have them convinced, that I am Wonder Woman.  I have the t-shirt (complete with cape), okay - I actually have several t-shirts, an action figure, a stuffed doll, and the book.  It started as a complete joke.  Someone, who was not very happy with me, made the sarcastic comment, “oh I forgot, you’re Wonder Woman,” and of course, rather than get angry, I proudly accepted that title and ran with it. But really, I know so many “wonder women” in my life.  Women that have been broken, beaten down, faced issues that no one should tackle and kept putting one foot in front of the other.  Not only kept going, but stayed kind, generous, compassionate and thankful during that time as well.  We are warriors.  Maybe not the golden rope and bullet proof kind, but heroes nonetheless to those that love us and care about us.  Wear your warrior side with pride.  

Which brings me to a final quote to share.  Sometimes we forget to wear our wrinkles, gray hair, saggy arms, our empty checking accounts and our hearts out for all to see.  We should be proud and share without reservations.  We’ve earned every bit and it has made us who we are, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.  So let’s keep reminding each other, let’s help each other never forget that we are magical, we are worthy, we are warriors!  

Get over it

I promised myself I wouldn't talk politics and I would keep as much of my blog as light hearted and happy as I can.  But I also cannot sit idly by and let people trash talk some of my friends and colleagues. I have two moral codes I stick by: educate the ignorant and never be a bystander to bullying.  It's time I remembered that and said something.  And no, I'm not waiting to cool down on this one.

First of all, for all you people saying that people are protesting because "boohoo their candidate lost" and telling people to just "get over it" because they didn't win.  You. Don't. Get. It.  You evidently missed the boat somewhere.  People are not protesting because their candidate lost.  People are protesting because the President of the United States of America, the ruler of the "free world", arguably the most influential man on Earth is an incredibly corrupt, morally bereft, manipulative, lying cheat.  And it scares the crap out of people.  They are standing up against him.  Personally I couldn't be more proud of them as Americans.

People also say "get over it" because they didn't cry when their candidate lost 8 years ago or 4 years ago.  This may be true.  But I'm pretty sure Obama didn't run on a platform intended to revoke the rights of citizens and set progress for equality back one hundred years.  You know who I hear saying they aren't scared?  My white, middle class, privileged, straight friends.   Oh don't tell me how you grew up poor.  I grew up "poor".  We didn't have the nicest clothes.  My dad worked endless hours to make ends me.  We went without health insurance and vacations and cars that ran consistently.  But we had food on the table, a roof over our heads and clothes on our back.  You have no idea how "poor" some people are.  You have no idea what it is like to grow up a different race, or as a gay/lesbian, or try to get a job as a woman in a "man's field".  I don't either.  But I respect their right to be scared.

Do I agree with the rioting and looting?  Absolutely not.  I will never understand it.  I will never understand how some people can destroy property and think that gets any point across other than making them look like a maniac.  But for the people leading the peaceful marches, I am behind you 100%.  I support your right to stand up and have your voice heard.  They are standing up to his lies, while Trump supporters just make more excuses for him.  Whose building the wall now guys?  And yet, you're okay with that?  How about his "draining the swamp", but that's okay too?

We are all supposed to just "get over" how people talked about Hilary and Obama for the past 8 years (and more) because now Trump is president.  And we aren't supposed to say anything mean about him or post anything negative about him because whether we like it or not "he's your president".  Again.  You're missing the boat.  "He's not my president" is not a statement of what people actually believe, it's a protest.  It's called symbolism, people.  It's a mantra.  A call to war.  A call for justice.  Get it?

As someone who has been told to just "get over it" in the past, I'm not going to "get over it".  (Unless you mean some extended friendships with people who don't get it.  Those I can get over.)    I will not be told my feelings are crazy and unjust or unreal and I for sure wouldn't tell someone else that.  If you don't know the reasoning behind how someone feels, if you don't have the background information they have, if you haven't lived their life, you don't get to judge.  You don't get to tell people they can't feel the way they feel.  And you sure as hell don't get to tell them to "get over it".  You know what you need to get over?  Yourself.

I'm eternally grateful for all the people who didn't "get over it" in my past.  I'm thankful for those ungrateful rebels in 1776 who turned their backs on the king who had provided them with a new start and troops to protect them by declaring their independence.  I'm grateful for the abolitionists in the mid-1800's who didn't "get over it" and tried to remove the greatest stain on America history and free a group of people who should have never faced slavery.  I'm grateful for the women a hundred years ago who didn't "get over it" and left their kitchens to demand the right to vote and the right to move forward in careers.  I'm grateful for the people who didn't "get over it" in the 1960's and fought for equal rights for all of mankind regardless of race.  I'm grateful and proud of every American who has stood up for the rights of others and opened the eyes of those too comfortable to see the struggles of those around them.

I expect my friends list will get a lot shorter by the end of the day and I'm okay with that.  I've tried to keep quiet and let others spread lies and misinformation.  But at the end of the day, I have to live with myself.  I can't be a bystander any more.  

And because I made another promise that I am obviously failing at:

Cooking, baking and popcorn!

I bet I have a lot of friends and family who never thought they would be reading that blog title for me.  What?  Melissa loves to cook?  No way.  Well, guess what?!  I do!  And it turns out I always did.  But...it is so much more fun cooking for people who appreciate it and enjoy your cooking.  Who knew?  No real complaints, other than “Why do we have to have vegetables or a salad with every meal?” and “Why can’t we put sugar on everything?”  Trying to make teenagers eat healthier is a bit of a challenge.  But they put up with me.  Of course, I haven’t made my famous tuna noodle hotdish where I forget the tuna either so there is that.  I did make spaghetti one time and accidentally used a can of Ro-tel tomatoes with green chilis.  That spaghetti turned out with a little more kick than originally intended.  But they are a forgiving bunch.

Something else that has helped foster my love for cooking is variety.  It used to be so boring to rotate through the same old recipes.  So I would stock up on cookbooks, but searching through page after page was time consuming!  And then trying to find it again was always a new challenge.  Now I have the joy of Facebook and Pinterest.  I have several boards on Pinterest dedicated to recipes, Snacks, Seafood, Chicken, Desserts, etc…  The latest craze is everyone sharing the videos of recipes on Facebook.  Typically I try to take the time to go the actual website and pin the recipe.  But sometimes I’m lazy or just in a hurry and save it for later on Facebook.  Seems like a lot of those tend to be desserts.  But there have been some good meal recipes too - Carter has a tator tot one that I’m ready to try this week on Facebook.  I do still get the same tried and true response to the age old question, “What should I make for dinner?” “I don’t care.”  That used to frustrate me.  Now it means I have free range to make whatever I want and wherever the world wide web takes me.

I do have roadblocks to cooking though.  One being trying to maintain a decent weight.  There are so many amazing dessert recipes from cheesecakes to bars, to cookies and custards and pies and cakes and… and … and… I want to make them all.  I don’t think my coworkers are complaining, or Tim’s for that matter, as I still make them and try them out, I just get them out of the house as fast as I can.  The latest was a recipe for Lunch Lady Peanut Butter bars.  So amazing and a recipe I have been looking for since I had these exact bars as a kid.  I do try to tell myself they are a health food because, hey - they have oatmeal and peanut butter.  Those are both “good”ish for you.  But the loads of sugar probably negate any “good” properties.

Lunch Lady Peanut Butter Bars 

Another roadblock is my love of seafood and almost my entire family’s distaste for it.  It’s hard to make two different meals considering our busy sports and work schedules.  I barely have time to make one.  Plus seafood scares me a little bit.  It’s all so expensive that I can’t imagine having a fail with a bag of $12- $20 shrimp.  So I’ll leave the seafood to Red Lobster, unless it’s fish sticks.  Those I can probably handle.  Or Tim’s famous crab dip.  We have that one down.  

One of the final roadblocks is finding the right amount of food to make for our family of 6.  On nights we are all together it takes a lot of food to fill everyone up.  Active kids can eat! Hotdishes typically need to be doubled.  I’ll never forget the night I had a hotdish in the oven for all of us, Libby and Carter were home first so I had them take it out of the oven.  The other four of us arrived home to ¼ of a pan of hotdish left.  That one was obviously a hit.  But apparently “leaving some for everyone” is a skill we are still working on.  

Despite the roadblocks, I love cooking.  I love that Tim helps out in the kitchen and we cook together and clean up together.  I love trying new recipes and trying to decide as a family if it is a keeper or a fail.  Majority rules of course.  I do have some funny Tim cooking stories, but until I get permission to share, I guess you’re just stuck with spicy spaghetti and noodle hotdish minus the tuna.  

Now tonight.  Tonight is an exception to the rule.  Tonight I’m on my own for supper so in honor of National Popcorn day, guess what I’m having?  Used to be a standby for a quick meal and it still does the trick! Happy National Popcorn Day!

I Love to Read

I love to read.  And I read a lot.  Libby loves to read.  She reads a lot.  It is so hard for me to understand and relate to people who don’t read.  I try, I really do, but I don’t get it.  Especially when they say they don’t like to read.  I’m always shocked and sometimes, a little hurt even.  How can you not love books?  They are the one thing that has always been there for me. Poor books.  

As a teacher I see students who aren’t in love with reading.  It is always my personal mission, goal, life’s work to try to help each and every student find a book they like and learn how to become better readers.  It makes me so sad when students say, “I’m not good at reading.”  We are all good readers!  Just because you don’t read fast, or lots of pages, doesn’t mean you’re not a good reader.  Keep reading - speed comes.  For now, let books take you away.  Let them paint a picture and take you places you could never go.  My favorite are kids who sit on social media, reading all day long basically, and saying “I can’t read”.  Can you read a quote on Instagram?  Can you read posts on Twitter/Facebook?  Do you get caught up in arguments on social media and read long threads going back and forth?  You can read.  You’re choosing not to read books.  

So much of it is finding the right book.  I don’t like to read much nonfiction.  Or even realistic fiction actually.  I trend towards fantasy, historical fiction, dystopian, science fiction, etc… I have read almost every Mary Higgens Clark book though, and did get into James Patterson for a while.  I’ve read a few really amazing books and I’ve forced my way through some others.  Gone Girl comes to mind.  Everyone claimed it was so good.  I forced my way through and it finally got okay at the end.  Fault in the Stars was horrible.  Paper Towns even worse.  I’ve found that I’m not the book club kind of girl, even though I read a lot.  Because I don’t want to get stuck reading a book I don’t like just because it is on some best seller list.  

Where is all this going?  I overheard a student say the other day, while noticing their classmate who has reached over 500 steps of reading minutes - every 15 minutes is a step, that they must “not have a life”.  Now THAT bothers me.  That kind of thinking starts at home.  Take Libby for example, she read 39 books and approximately 17,000 pages last year.  She was upset because that was down 10 books and 2,000 pages from the year before.  Libby has a life.  She works 2 jobs, is involved in school activities like FFA, drama, band, and choir, has her own horse that she rides, trains, shows and takes care of, not to mention when she helps me with my three, has a boyfriend, and a very active social media personality (too much maybe).  She still finds time to read.  A lot.  We make time for the things that are important to us.  Just because books are important to us, doesn’t mean we don’t have a life.  I’ll never forget the time I told her to stop reading and come watch a movie with us.  Like what teacher and parent does that?  Stop reading and come sit in front of the TV.  But sometimes we miss her.  

I love sharing and talking about books with people.  If you like the same kind of books as I do, let’s share our favorite titles!  I deleted my Facebook page about books for lack of interest.  But I still love sharing, so shoot me a message and let’s talk books!

Coupe vs China

The last two days I have been able to ride both Coupe and China.  Super proud of China considering she has had the last couple of months off and she acted like she never was put up for a day.  Have to love the easy ones.  It is also kind of amazing to me to ride two young horses and get to see the difference between two very different movers and thinkers. It's super hard to explain.  I tried yesterday to explain to Tim.

Riding Coupe is like riding in a big luxury sedan with loads of struts and shock absorbers.  He's got a very smooth jog that gives you that awesome rocking back and forth sensation.  He's slow and lazy.  Lazy is better than crazy any day but it is a lot of leg work to make him go and move.  He's loving but in a "what cha got for me and can I be done" kind of way.  He is also at the point where he is very concerned about China and where she is standing and when he can go back to being ignored by her in the pasture instead of ignored by her in the barn.  And he's round.  There is a big round horse under you, with a big butt behind and you can feel it.  Maybe he's more like a surburban?

Riding China is like riding a fine sports car.  She is not a speed horse by any means.  But she's got this suspension to her stride that is so incredible.  It's like riding a horse that floats.  If you have trouble feeling the diagonal, ride China, you will find it every single time.  She definitely feels more like a hunt horse, big long stride with her lanky legs.  Not much for a barrel on her, yet.  She does have some halter horses in her pedigree, so it could be coming.  She is only 2. And she has a hip on her.  Despite the fact that she's got a couple inches on Coupe height wise, she feels smaller because she is narrower.  She isn't a fast horse, but she is not lazy either.  So much try in her.  She tries to anticipate what you might ask and be ready to please as soon as possible.  She is a complete sweetheart, think golden retriever.  It's impossible to get angry with her.  I guess she's a Corvette?

I'm always very proud of both of them.  Today I threw something completely new at China.  I tried to kill two birds with one stone and pony Kuzco off of China so they both got some exercise.  I like using mares to pony so that they kind of keep the sassy young ones in their place.  Apparently China took that role seriously as she pinned her ears, bared her teeth and went after Kuzco.  I quickly got after her and she quit, kind of disgusted with me as she didn't get to finish putting him in his place.  We went to walk off and Kuzco, terrified now, didn't move.  He planted his four feet like a little pull toy and my arm started to stretch out of it's socket.  So I had to back China up to get him to move.  Unfortunately China thought I meant back into him and kick him.  So I had to get after her again.  So I decided it was time to go back a step.  I had to dismount, walk backwards and walk them both, side by side around the round pen for a lap or two, getting after China any time she even laid an ear back, before they agreed to get along.  Then it was back up and around we went a couple more laps.

Long story short - it was a success story, just more of a project than I thought it would be.  Sometimes I overestimate how things should go.  But surprisingly, they always seem to step up in the long run.

Settled in at DE

I get a lot of people asking me how the girls are doing at Dover-Eyota.  The answer is that they are doing great!  I'm so proud of them.  I know I would have been terrified and would never have been brave enough to start over at a new school if given the choice.  Yet they both embraced the change and have really taken off with it.  I guess I should have known that these two were up to the challenge.
Libby and Sophie both tried something new and went out for the musical.  I know they both enjoyed it and hope to be active in drama again in the future.  Libby joined FFA this year (as did Sophie) and has been to at least one competition.  They are both still in band and choir and enjoying new instructors in both.

I know that most of you weren't worried about Miss Sassy Sophie making friends with being involved in volleyball and basketball.  And she has a herd of girls (and maybe some boys?) that she has to keep up with on Snapchat.  But never fear about Libby either.  I got to enjoy watching Libby be virtually tackled by a friend as we got to the basketball game the other night. They are building relationships and love their new school.  Even though we will always love the Falcons, they are effectively Eagles now.

Of course I have to thank all of the DE staff also for welcoming them with open arms and going the extra mile to not only help them get settled in, but also push them and expect them to keep achieving at a top level.  It has been a great transition.
Now, every transition has its drawbacks.  DE does play FC.  Volleyball was hard enough.  But somehow the fact that they were each on their own sides of the net made it all that much easier. However, I still get choked up when I look at the picture we took of the "team" all together again after the game.

On Friday FC traveled to Eyota and played us for basketball.  I'm not going to lie, it was very hard to watch Lauren and Sophie face off against each other.  And boy do they both play hard.  They may have been best friends for as long as we can remember, but they sure looked like opponents (as they should) when they guarded each other.  So hard and I know I made a butt of myself as I had to cheer for both teams; my loyalty will always be with my girls and where they go to school, but my heart has to be with my other "kids" that I've watched play together for years.  Super proud of both of them and both teams played their hearts out.

So that's how it has been going so far, so far so good.  Excited to see what the second half of the year brings!