The horses are out!

There is nothing that inspires fear and action in a horse lover like those four words, "the horses are out."  This morning as we were all just starting to wake, I got that dreaded call and I have never seen a house react the way we did.  Faster the the word "fire" we were dressed and out the door, on the way to the barn.  The barn being 10 minutes away, it took everything in our power not to speed.  The horses being out on a quiet country road is one thing.  But the barn we board at is boarded on one side by busy highway 14 and the other by a railroad track and the town of Eyota.  I was a nervous wreck.

Tim being new to horses getting out, thankfully that has not happened in the past couple of years, did not know what we needed to do.  He suggested a bucket of grain, which wasn't a bad idea, but we went with halters.  The horses apparently had enough of their walkabout and were literally in the back yard of the house behind where they got out.  We pulled as close as we dared without spooking them, got out and started walking their way.  I said something along the lines of "China" and the three of them immediately came out from behind the house and trotted up to us. 

All the way up to us I'm going to admit I assumed they were going to dash by us and run for the hills.  Instead the three of them; Sully, China and Joker, ran right up to us and waited to be haltered.  I was so thankful they were such "good" horses.  Although the truly "good" horse was Peach as she stayed where she belonged.  Then what to do.  We didn't want to lead them back over the damaged fence.  We didn't want to lead them along highway 14.  That meant option C - lead them along the railroad tracks back to the main gate.  Which meant leading a two 3 year olds and a yearling over a railroad bridge, complete with the loose boards and sketchy creaking and gaps between the railroad ties, etc...  I did not think China would step one foot on there after hating the bridge in Forestville.  But with just a little coaxing she climbed right on and the other two followed right behind. 

Off we went along the tracks and back into their pasture.  All in all I was so happy with them.  I was proud of them being easy to catch, willing to walk across the scary bridge and cross country back to their pasture.  Despite being incredibly annoyed with them for getting out in the first place, they kind of redeemed themselves.  Until tonight. 

You see we made a mad dash to Rochester for fencing materials and spent a good part of the morning fixing fence.  And we thought we fixed all the spots that may have been a problem.  That new forcefield, aka, fenceline was so shiny and new and tight.  Only horse people know the satisfaction a shiny new fenceline brings.  I could have admired that fenceline for hours if it weren’t so darn cold.  We left them to their hay feeling confident.  It wasn’t until I was sitting down to supper and got that same damn call that I lost that confidence.  

We arrived in the pitch dark to find Sully and Joker standing peaceably beside our neighbors who had a rope looped over Joker’s neck and were just petting on Sully.  China, being the big naughty cow she is, was too big to fit through the new gap in the fence.  She paced the fenceline in annoyance.  Sully and Joker were haltered again and made the same trek across the same bridge, this time in the pitch dark, and back in they went. 

Then we got to fix more fence, again.  But this time in the pitch dark by the light of the Traverse headlights.  So we have fixed the fence, again.  And now we cross our fingers and hope the little buttholes quit playing hookey and park their butts at the round bale feeder like normal horses would.  

And hey- bridges shouldn’t be a problem from here on out.  

It's too cold

It's too cold.  Apparently that is a theme throughout the U.S. this week as a polar vortex plummets much of the country into temperatures much colder than they are used to.  But as a resident of the frigid, God forsaken state of Minnesota, "It's too cold" seems to have a different meaning than it does to some of my friends in much warmer climates.

I swear if I see one more person complaining about 20 degrees, or worse 40 degrees, I may lose my cool.  (Pun intended)  The windchills for the past week have been hovering around -30 here in MN.  The sun has been out, because yeah - it's too damn cold even for snow.  But if you have never felt a cold useless sun before, come visit MN.  The sun is doing very little right now to warm us here and it isn't up for long enough to do much good anyway.  We are Minnesotans, we are used to cold snaps, but this one has gone on, for what seems like, forever.

And for all the people who wonder why we can't just stay inside when it is cold so who cares anyway.  Yeah - that only works if you're a hermit and never need to leave for any reason.  Let's talk about what -30 means for real life people.

1.  Doing chores, even if you can somehow manage to run through them in under half an hour, means stopping in your car - that you leave running- to warm up your fingers and toes and the tiny little portion of your face visible to the elements.  Oh and don't think that we aren't wearing gloves.  In 10 minutes, even with gloves (or two pair) and hand warmers and wool socks - you start to lose feeling in those suckers.  Threads on social media in Minnesota are centered around topics like "What kinds of gloves actually work?" or "Are there any boots that keep your feet warm right now?".

2.  Speaking of chores - everything freezes.  Literally everything.  Water buckets freeze solid which requires banging on them or bringing them into somewhere warm to heat up enough to slide out giant blocks of ice.  Banging on them tends to result in broken buckets - so there starts to be piles of those.  Water heaters fail and stock tanks freeze solid.  (Yeah, that's fun.)  Even spring fed creeks freeze so you go out with your axe, pitchfork and other assorted tools to bust it open.  Sometimes the cops even stop by and question you when your pasture backs up to the city because he thinks you're a hoodlum out hiding behind the buildings smoking pot or something.  (Right Libby?)
Horses get cold so there is blanketing and taking off blankets and ripped blankets and buying blankets and dirty blankets and freaking blankets....
Latches, hooks and doors freeze, like solid.  So you blow on them, wrap them in your already freezing hands, push on them, shove on them, bang on them, and yes - curse at them.

3.  You cannot get warm.  At least I can't.  I can't remember the last time I felt really and truly warm.  My feet are always cold - even in socks or slippers.  I layer and layer and layer some more and still am cold.  I will sneak one hand out for a few minutes and then sneak the other one out for a few minutes.  Maybe I sit on the other hand in an effort to warm it up.  Even at night under blankets, sheets, comforters and quilts, I'm still cold.  Hot showers are great, but eventually you have to turn the water off and then... cold.

4.  The furnace is always running.  Which means the gas bill is always going... up... and up...

5.  Cars don't start.  And if you're lucky enough that your car does start you have to spend gas and time warming it up before you go anywhere.  Oh don't give me the "I saw somewhere that it doesn't hurt your car just to start it up and go".  Common sense tells me that is a lie.  And if I don't warm up my car before I leave, there is a good chance the interior temperature will not get above zero until I arrive at my destination.  I might as well be outside doing chores then.  Pretty sure law enforcement frowns on me driving with numb fingers and toes.  And for my car without remote start I have to do the mad dash out to start it, then back inside to wait.  Does a person get fully dressed before starting the car?  Of course not silly!  Because then you'd be standing inside, dressed like the Michelan man for 10 minutes waiting for the car to warm up.  And who wants to try to take their boots off and put them back on?  No one.  So you go out in your every day clothes, freeze solid and sprint back in to get dressed.  Which brings me to number 6.

6.  Getting dressed takes FOREVER... (cue flashback to The Sandlot).  One does not just "throw on a jacket" to go anywhere.  Getting dressed entails long underwear or leggings/tights under all pants and multiple layers (preferably with Cuddle Duds" on top; don't forget the wool socks.  Then scarves, head gear (hats or those oh so cute headbands), gloves or a couple of pairs, snowpants or some type of pant layer over the jeans/leggings, boots and pretty soon you can't move.  Oh and if you forgot something and have to take any of that crap off and start over, God forbid, you had better give yourself an extra 10 minutes before you need to be somewhere.  At our house we store most of our warm weather gear just outside the door in the garage.  This means bringing it in for a few minutes to warm up so every heat vent in the house is warming someone's gear.  This can be accomplished WHILE you wait for the car to warm up.

7.  It's too cold to do anything or go anywhere and half the stuff is cancelled or closed anyway.  You know what that means.  Eating.  Suddenly in the winter it seems like a good idea to chow your way through a pan of bars or lasagna.  One of the things I love to do in the winter when we are froze in, is bake.  It's warm with the oven going in the kitchen.  But that definitely has a downside.  Cookies, pies, puddings, bars, any form of dessert sounds amazing when you can't leave the house.

8.  Speaking of not being able to go anywhere, inside recess.  Any fellow teachers or people working in education can relate to the horrors that those two words bring.  Inside recess = high strung, wild, bouncy kids.  And we have days on end of inside recess ahead of us.

I could go on.  And yes, I know I sound like a negative whiner.  But when the positive side of winter is, "hey, I haven't seen a mosquito in weeks", I guess I'm more of a realist than a whiner.  I don't ski, ice skate, ice fish, or snowmobile.  So tell me again why I live in this state?  A little birdie even told me Alaska, heck the North Pole, was warmer than we were this week.  Why?  For the love of Pete, why?

Ponies are *not* the spawn of Satan

And I will keep arguing that point until my dying breath.  I am sick to death of hearing that statement every time someone asks on a social media platform if they should buy their child a pony or a horse.  Oh and that isn't the only one, "Ponies are short so they are closer to hell" or "Tell a gelding, ask a mare, pray if it's a pony".  Oh ha ha ha - you're so funny, but guess what?  You're also missing out on something truly great and the worst part is, you're convincing others that are asking for honest advice all the wrong things. 

I love the excuse "in my experience".  What is your experience?  You had a naughty shetland or mini as a kid?  Your friend had one?  You heard a story on the internet?  Of course people share naughty pony stories on the internet.  Everyone LOVES that video of the naughty little gray pony dumping his poor little rider over and over again, it gets a laugh.  It makes me angry so I refuse to watch it, but it does get laughs.  So people share those naughty stories because they get a laugh and they get passed on.

We all have naughty pony stories.  I had incredibly naughty and intelligent paint pony that I started out on.  Libby also had a naughty spirited little welsh type pony once. The girls also had a little mini that, while incredibly good and funny, had his naughty moments too - like stealing my tools every time I tried to fix fence.  Not every POA is even the perfect kid safe starter pony.  But wow - for people to write off ponies is so wrong.  I've known just as many asshole horses as I have ponies.  I know I won't change everyone's mind, but if I can get just one person to see pass the "ponytude" stereotype, I will feel like I have made a dent in ignorance.

I could literally bore you to tears with good pony stories; stories just of our OWN ponies being beyond amazing.  I could share stories of great ponies that I have seen until "the cows come home" or you pass out from lack of sleep.  But I won't, because those aren't my stories to tell.  I will share a few of my own stories and I would love for the comments here to fill up with stories of your own ponies being just what your family ordered for you and your kids. 

Our first POA was a a POA cross named Lieba.  She had no formal training being a former Amish broke pony.  She was Libby's first "real" pony after a little shetland that she had her first few rides on.  Lieba was a gem.  She was as safe as safe gets, she had one speed. Walk.  And boy did she love the word "whoa".  She was a great pony for Libby to start showing on.  She never won big awards, but Libby was safe.  Safe to lead her, safe to ride her, safe to brush or clip or wash her.  She was the perfect pony for Libby to start learning about horses on. 

We then tried a welsh or hackney or some type of cross pony.  She was naughty.  She spooked.  She bolted.  She reared.  And she taught Libby a ton.  I thought Libby would get scared and give up.  But she didn't dream of it and there were plenty of moments when Shadow was a very good pony.  She wasn't exactly beginner friendly, but she was a good pony.   When we looked to replace her with something more reliable we knew what we wanted.  A POA.  We got, Giggles. 

Giggles is the "shit" as they say.  She literally was every little girl's dream pony.  No, she didn't have long flowing mane and tail.  She had kind of a big ugly head and she wasn't "cuddly".  But you could do anything with that pony.  My kids could sit on the ground and clip her feet.  They crawled under her, over her, through her legs.  They fed her, walked her, jumped her, rode her bareback in a leadrope, picked up her feet, you name it.  There weren't many classes she didn't show in and win in, even beating the "big" horses.  Western to English, trail, reining, costume, jumping, games, you name it.  She can do it all.  You'd think she was old and dead broke right?  Not really.  She was 7 when I bought her for my 7 year old, but really only 2 year old broke.  She wasn't even "fancy broke".  Just a good pony that tried her heart out.  When my girls had learned everything she could teach them, she went to a new home and is teaching more little girls.  And to prove that you can really do anything to Giggles, check her out in one of my favorite costumes with her new little girl. 

Giggles gave my daughter confidence to start training her own ponies.   She was 9, yeah 9 when she trained her first POA.  Taz was another gem.  Never stepping a foot wrong, just always trying to please.  Not spooky or mean, just a gentle soul - old at heart.   Of course she had help, but Libby was able to train that pony on her own.  And he wasn't the last. 

We had a string of really great and quiet POA ponies that I would have trusted with almost any kid.  Susie - she was 2 when I sold her to be a kid's pony and she didn't disappoint.  Her new family loved her.  There was Dolly and Licorice.  Licorice's whole family came to try her out and they still look me up when they are at the same shows we are to say how great she is.  Oh and Buddy - what a great pony he was.  Sophie's first pony she showed all by herself, did anything and everything she asked and was a saint.  There was Levi, a pony that did have a "ponytude" when we got him but it literally took one lesson and he was back to being a good broke pony.  Cotton!  Who could forget Cotton? Just a 3 year old when we bought him for Sophie who was only 8 at the time.  They won literally everything.  Even when I would have dumped her butt for being a brat, he just put up with her and tried his little heart out.  And Rye.  God bless Rye.  Libby broke him out when she was 11.  And with a little help she trained that pony to do everything under the sun and do it well, Congress level well. 

I remember trail rides with green broke ponies who ended up leading the ride because they were just that good and just that quiet.  I remember letting my girls jump into new classes like trail when the pony had never seen a bridge or a mailbox or... and the ponies just sailed through the class, because they were just that good.  I remember throwing Libby into her first hunter over fences class, virtually never having practiced a jump before in her life and Giggles threw herself around that course with great glee.  I can see the time I duct taped a horn to Cotton's head and he went into a class draped in Sophie's stuffed animals and blanket for a costume class.  Or how about Peach going to her second real horse show weekend and winning a belt buckle? Pretty sure we threw classes at her, and tack, that she had never seen before.  Even just this last summer, poor Hope getting taken to shows at her 7th ride and showing in a walk trot class.  Oh wait - winning a walk/trot class.  Or a favorite memory - when I asked the girls to bring their ponies down to the barn and I caught them in halters and leadropes/bareback, having a race across the hillside with loose horses and dogs running.  Oh and one of those ponies was a 2 year old.   Where is that video....

I could share a million pictures, literally I am probably only barely exaggerating, I took a lot of pictures of my girls when they were horse showing.  I will share a few, but I cannot stress enough how good and quiet our POA ponies have been.  Easy to train, easy to ride and more importantly, easy to love. 

So yeah - every time I hear someone say that ponies are the devil, I get a little (a lot) defensive. 

Cutie as a 2 year old giving beginner lessons.

Rye in his first costume class.

Rye coming out of his first "swimming" experience.

Crazy 2 year old on the left

New Year’s Resolutions

So... enjoy a safe place to share all your resolutions here.  I’ll share mine first.  I resolve to...
Haha- who am I kidding?  For the millionth year in a row, I do not have any resolutions.  I mean, I've made resolutions in the past.  Half hearted, I should do this kinds of resolutions.  Usually with the basic premise of "be a better person".  But I'm not doing that this year.  You know why?  Because I've decided this year I'm going to be happy with me the way I am me.

Oh that doesn't mean I'm not going to KEEP working on myself.  I don't need to set a goal for being a better person because that is something I have been working on for a while and I'm going to keep working on. 

I'm going to keep working on eating better, eating less sugar and drinking more water.  I had kind of let that slide over the holidays.   I guess you could say I really let that slide.  I love holiday treats.  Like fudge, and candy, cookies, puddings, I'm a little like the Grinch at the Whoville cookoff.  Bring it all on.  Now I pay for it after the holidays with sugar withdrawals.  Hopefully there are less goodies in the house soon.   That's the worst - goodies all over the house that are so quick and easy to grab.

I'm going to continue to work on being a more positive person and judging others less.  (Unless it is about this polar vortex weather.  NO one except Tim can have a positive attitude about this weather.  It is against all that is right and good.)

I bought myself a coloring bible and Libby bought me a devotional journal.  One of my goals has always been to read the bible cover to cover and I'm hoping this bible inspires me to stick with it and keep working on that goal while getting to color some stand out verses at the same time.  I'm going to keep working on building my faith and I have the best faith partner to do that with in Tim.  He motivates me to be the best person I can be and to keep Christ at the forefront of my life.    

I'm going to continue working with our young horses and pushing them to be the best they can be while I learn from each of them along the way.  I can't wait for the weather to get warm enough to get back into the swing of things with them. 

I'm going to do my best to make sure my loved ones are happy and know that they are appreciated and loved every single day.  It's going to be a challenging year with many changes for us, but I know that with our love being strong and the way we all help each other, we can get through anything together. 

So while I don't have any new year's resolutions, I do have continued goals for each day moving forward.  Here's to 2018!

Suicide

It’s that word that everyone has very mixed feelings about, none of them good.  It’s the word that strikes a crushing and overwhelming sense of fear in every parent, despair in the heart of loved ones and misunderstanding in the minds of most of us.

Today, while I had my kids out at a movie and was complaining about the cold and the snow, another mom was spending her first day without her son or daughter.  Another father was starting the rest of his life without his child.  A husband learning to live alone or a daughter missing her daddy. A brother or sister was trying to imagine life as an only child, a family was learning to live without their loved one and friends are sorting through old memories wondering how.  How could this happen? How could they get to this point in their life, how could they have felt that the only way out was to take their own life? The answer to that question is we won’t and will never know or understand.

What I do know from my time dealing with depression is that it isn’t just a bad day.  It isn’t just feeling low or feeling sad.  It isn’t something you can make better by reading a positive quote, having someone tell you that it “isn’t that bad” or getting a hug.  Those things all help, but depression is so much more than just a bad day or even a bad couple  of days.  Depression makes you feel like you are that horrible of a person, things are never going to get better and everyone would be better off without you.  And even those who do say they need you or love you, you convince yourself they are just saying that because they have to.

Even at my lowest point, and I was pretty low, I knew that I could not commit suicide.  Not that it didn't cross my mind, but then I thought about my two girls and what would happen to them if I was gone and I knew, I knew I couldn't do that to them.  They saved my life and I have promised myself ever since that I would work to make sure that no one I know and love feels like I did and knows that I need them in my life as much as they needed me in theirs.  

While stumbling across resources for this blog, I came upon these 23 messages which are advice for people considering suicide by people who have been there.  I don't think my words even come close to some of the great advice I found in these quickly read snippets of advice.   

Check them out here: Advice for those with suicidal thoughts

This one really hit me.  “Don’t be ashamed of your suicidal thoughts. They don’t make you a bad person or make you weak. They are just a symptom of a mental disease, just like chest pain is a symptom of heart disease. When we experience symptoms, it’s time to seek help, regardless of the disease. Chest pains don’t make a heart patient weak or bad, and neither do any of your thoughts.” — Jennifer Sladden

This is how it was for me.  This is how I felt.  Ashamed.  All the time ashamed.  Ashamed of what I had done with my life, how I had messed up my life, my kids, my future.  My therapist asked me one day what goals I had in life.  Big or little.  Goals for tomorrow or the next week, month, year or even better, 5 years down the road.  I had none.  Because I literally wasn't thinking of getting there.  I was thinking of getting through today.  That really woke me up.  There is something to be said for taking each day, one day at a time.  But when you're living your life without any thoughts beyond the next 24 hours we have a problem. 

I can't thank my girls, my friends and my therapist enough for getting me through those days.  It's true what they say about depressed people doing a great job of faking it.  At least I thought I was.  But the nights were the hardest, or any time I was alone.  It got to where I wouldn't allow myself to be alone.  I went anywhere and did anything I could not to be alone with my thoughts.  But here I am on the other side.  What do I want everyone to know?

Stop judging.  I know I've said it before, but I can't say it enough.  Stop saying how weak people who commit suicide are.  Most people with depression are the strongest people you would ever meet.  They fight a war inside their own damn heads every single minute of every day and put on a fake smile while they are doing it.  Stop saying they just need to stop sleeping and get out and get some fresh air.  They are literally exhausted.  Physically and mentally exhausted.  It's like telling a person with a broken leg to just walk it off.  They are sick, not lazy.  Stop telling them that it isn't that bad.  It is that bad, to them.  Tell them you understand and are there for them.  Tell them they don't have to face it alone, but never diminish their worth by saying what they aren't feeling isn't a big deal.  And lastly, stop telling them how much worse they could have it.  Because believe me, they know.  But when you tell them that, all you do is add to their guilt and shame.  The guilt and shame they feel for being so weak and not being able to pick themselves up.  

Start thinking about how you can help.  How can you help your loved ones, friends and family, know that you are there for them?  How can you get them the help they need?  How can we help everyone feel better about themselves and what they are going through?  Be understanding and be kind.  

Lonely...

Loneliness is such a horrible feeling.  Nothing hurts my heart more than seeing a child without someone to play with or hearing that one of my students feels excluded.  That feeling of being left out only gets worse with age.

Did you know it is possible to feel incredible loneliness even when you are in a relationship?  I recently read that the feeling of being cut off in a relationship, left out, left behind is the leading reason women divorce their husbands.  Even if you talk every day, if all you ever talk about is who is picking up the kids, what is for dinner and did the bills get paid, that overwhelming crushing loneliness becomes too much for a heart to handle.  But the fear of that loneliness getting even worse by being alone keeps thousands of people, probably hundreds of thousands of people, in shitty relationships all around the world.  I guess a little loneliness is better than admitting you are really and truly alone.

This time of year is a terrible time of year to feel alone.  If you have any kind of social media presence you see happy couples together and families cuddling everywhere you turn.  People don’t do it to be cruel, they are sharing their joy which is what social media is for!  But for those who are alone, it can seem that everyone is loved and has a special someone except you.

Nothing drives that point home more than the out of the blue text messages I received last week.  Both were from a couple of nicer guys I met on a dating website nearly two years ago.  Both of them messaged me after so long to ask how I was and if I was still single.  The “I’m married” response was met with radio silence but that isn’t really what got me thinking.  What got me thinking was how sad those two texts made me.  It makes me incredibly sad to think that there are so many people, like these two men, who are wonderful people but are feeling so lonely they message a random person they talked to two years earlier.  One of them had decided two years ago that we lived too far apart to keep chatting. Apparently his loneliness had gotten to the point where a 2 hour drive seemed doable.  And while I had found someone, here was this person that was still feeling so alone that he was going through old contacts hoping to strike up a conversation with someone he had turned down two years earlier. It makes me sad for them. 

Those texts also reminded me how incredibly blessed I am.  I have Tim, my soulmate and someone I can turn to for anything.  I don’t have to do it alone anymore and I don’t have to worry about that lonely feeling.  Which also made me realize how having felt that alone makes a person that much more careful to make sure that those you love never know that empty feeling.  Maybe that’s why we go through that hurt, so that we know how it feels and do our best to make sure our loved ones never feel that way. I would never want any of my friends or family to feel the way I felt so I will do my best to remind them constantly that I need them, appreciate them and love them. 

So.. with that thought, let's reach out to our friends and family.  Let's tell them how much we love them.  Remind them that they aren't alone. Get them out and about, invite them over, ask them for help.  Never let anyone feel alone that isn't.  And while you're at it, maybe let them know you've been there before and there is another side to that loneliness; a learning side and hope for a better after. 

And you know I can't let this topic go without sharing with you another reminder.  Please never forget that you are never alone.  God is always with you.  Sprinkle of Jesus app - download it.  (It was recommended to me by my oldest daughter, which will be shocking to some of you who know how hard Libby fought against me when it comes to organized religion.) The other day this was shared: "If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting."  This has been true during so many times of my life.  Be strong, the blessing is just around the corner.

Christmas Reflections

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly Christmas comes and is gone.  I cannot believe that tomorrow when I get in the car, our favorite Christmas station will be back to just playing random music again.  No more Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, no more Carol of the Bells, just Don't Stop Believing for the next 11 months.  While our Christmas trees and village will stay up until after New Years, it is the time to reflect on the whirlwind of the last couple of days and carry those memories with us for the days, months and years to come.

This was our second year together as a family and I couldn't be more thankful.  As we celebrated with Tim's family and all the chaos that 7 brothers and sisters and 20 grandchildren in one household brings, I kept getting overwhelmed with how much love that family shares.  There was so much joy, so many laughs and so many hugs and happiness in one household.  I feel so blessed that my girls and I get to be a part of it.

Speaking of laughs, there is nothing like a game of Game of Things to get the laughter rolling around the table.  We play a lot of fun games with the Andrings (Ticket to Ride is another popular one), but Game of Things is a favorite.  Even when we make a concentrated effort to keep it clean, it is still a whole lot of fun.  If you haven't tried it yet - give it a go.

The girls got to spend an afternoon and evening with their dad's parents and siblings while we went the other direction to more of Tim's extended family.  The girls came home with so many stories and videos and laughs that I felt like I had been there too.  More little cousins around to bring loads of smiles and more uncles with a strong appreciation for sarcasm and teasing.  I'm so glad that they get to spend time with them too.  They always come home feeling so loved and with big smiles.

There was a beautiful midnight mass in St Charles.  What a gorgeous church, with a beautiful homily surrounded by family.  Of course the music, I can't sing enough beautiful hymns with a church filled with beautiful singers.  Father Tim moved us all to laugh and the true meaning and spirit of Christmas filled us all. 

We enjoyed a slightly quieter Christmas evening at my parents house.  Well, it was quiet, until we got out Sophie's new game.  If you haven't played Quelf, you need to.  When Sophie got it for Christmas from her cousin I had no idea what it was, I had never heard of it.  So we broke it out last night and I have not laughed so hard in a long time.  God bless Sharon and her willingness to play along with us.  Even if it meant she had to tap dance and tell us an embarrassing childhood memory.  HA!  Sharon also gifted us with the most amazing wedding scrapbook.  It is beautiful and holds all my favorite wedding moments.  Thank you to my friends who secretly helped her with pictures that I have never even seen.  I love it!

Of course we had our Christmas morning together as a family with all kinds of wonderful gifts, but the most amazing part was all of us together as a family.  Family, we are so blessed to have each other and our health and be able to spend the holiday together.   I wouldn't have needed to open even one box as long as I could watch my kids and Tim be surprised and happy as they opened their gifts. But they always spoil me.

As we move into the coming year, I hope we can all take the happiness and kindness that we have shown each other over the holidays and continue to spread Christmas cheer all year long.  I hope we don't forget how blessed we are, how many family and friends we have that love us and love each other as fiercely all year long.  Merry Christmas everyone - hope your holidays were happy and bright!