Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Bleacher butt

It’s the little things a person takes for granted sometimes, like your tailbone.  I bet none of you really think about the fact that your tailbone even exists.  It just happily goes along, hanging out at the base of your spine, doing it’s thing.  And you, you lucky person you, you don’t even give it a second thought.  I was just like you, until… I wasn’t.

It was midway or almost to the end of the basketball season (and JO) when I really started getting sick of having what I called bleacher butt.  This pain in the rear, literally, from sitting on the bleachers for any length of time.  And the time it took before the pain kicked in got shorter and shorter and shorter.  I started standing at every time out and every break I could get.  And then thankfully, the season ended.  Track started and joy of all joys - you don’t sit at track meets! (You do a lot of standing around freezing your ass off, but not the shooting bleacher butt pain.  Trade-off?)

But the “bleacher butt” didn’t get better.  It got worse.  And pretty soon it was couch butt, dining room table butt and even worse - car seat butt.  The absolute worst was any car ride over half an hour.  Especially with driving.  At least riding I could sit on one foot or shift from one hip to the next.  But driving forced me to sit on my tailbone and man did it start to hurt.  And spring turned into summer…

Summer it became unbearable, sitting in those bag chairs at softball games was excruciating. I gave up and stood for most of them. I know everyone is going to tell me that it was riding horses that caused the problem.  It was not.  Riding doesn’t seem to make it any worse or better.  And English saddle seems to cause more pain than a western saddle, but neither causes any more pain than the average night on the couch. And in fact, at least while I’m riding I don’t seem to notice the pain or even feel it.  Riding is one of the few things that doesn’t seem to hurt.

I decided that I needed to get it fixed before the wedding.  I tried talking to my regular doctor at my regular checkup.  She didn’t have any advice other than the dreaded donut pillow and to be patient.  I tried talking to the doctor at Acute Care the time my back was spasming and I needed to go in.  He thought the muscle relaxers and pain meds he put me on would fix it.  They didn’t touch it.  So I head to the chiropractor.  Three times.  And let me tell you, after the first time I commented that I felt like the chiro owed me a drink for how up close and personal we got trying to put the tailbone where it’s supposed to go.  He claimed he put it back in place and that it was just shifted to the right.  But I’m here to tell you the pain didn’t change.

I bought the dreaded donut pillow.  I tried using it whenever I drove or rode in the car, sat on the bench at the kitchen table, sat on the floor, ect… I worried people would ask me if I had hemorrhoids or just judge silently, but I was at the point where I had to try something.  It didn’t help.  The pain is sometimes almost like sciatica, reaching down my legs.  

I’ve tried stretching, albeit probably not often enough.  I’ve taken time off riding. I’ve taken loads of time off running and the elliptical.  I’ve tried OTC pain relievers.  I’ve tried chiro and massage.  (The massage helped for a couple of days.  She even commented at how tight my muscles were and in her theory, a chiro and massage therapist working together might be able to get ahead of it.)  I’ve whined. I’ve complained.  I’ve caught my breath when I sit wrong.  I’ve spent too much money trying to figure this out and get it better and I’m frustrated.  

Here’s what I do know. I will never again take for granted being able to sit on my ass without pain.  I will never again complain that seats are uncomfortable, because even hard bleachers are better than the pain I feel sitting on a comfy couch these days.  And I will never again take for granted being able to ride down the road in relative peace.  

I know that a sore tailbone is minor to what some people are going through and I vow to stop complaining.  But for now, I have a legit pain in my ass and it isn’t getting any better.  I’ve decided that it is what it is and I’m going back to living my life. I will ride. I will run.  I will do what I love to do and maybe just stand for games from now on.  Standing burns more calories, right?  

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