Living with regret

It's something that has been on my mind lately.  A lot.  I look at my loved ones; my friends, my family and even those I don't know extremely well but consider my horse show friends, teacher friends, Village Square family or Facebook friends.  I look at them and hope that daily they know how special they are to me.  How I need and want them in my life and how I hope they know they are loved.  I look at them and know that I never want to feel one minute of living with regret.  Regret for not telling them they were my friends or that they were important to me.  Regret that we left each other feeling angry or saying hurtful words.  Regret that can never be taken back.

When someone is in an accident, takes their life or even passes away from an extended illness, there are always those of us left behind with regrets.  How many times have you heard, "I wish I had told them" or "They never knew..."  You're right?  And why didn't they?  After personally losing loved ones and feeling how horrible living with regret makes you feel, I learned that you say what you mean, mean what you say and nothing is worth your loved ones feeling unloved.  Why do so many of us have to learn that lesson the hard way?  It seems like no matter how many times those of us who have been through it tell people they don't want to live with regret, the message still doesn't sink in.

Let me put it this way, I have a list, thankfully a short one, of people I don't want at my celebration of life.  (And for the record, it better be a big old celebration with a DJ, drinks and lots of laughter and stories.  No sitting around weeping over me.  And if there is an open casket, I'm coming back to haunt someone.  Open casket bad, open bar good.  Got it?)  I don't want people at my celebration who didn't make time for me while I was here.  I don't want people standing around, hugging each other and saying how I was so important to them and that they miss me that couldn't make time to answer a text or stop by to say hi while I was alive.  If you didn't miss me enough to spend time with me while I was here, you don't get to go digging for sympathy after.  You know what you get?  Regret. 

Living with regret is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.  So take a minute and send a couple of texts or emails to those you haven't chatted with in a while.  If the last words you spoke to someone were in anger, reach out to them and let them know that while you disagree, you still care about them.  Stop by and visit a friend or family member.  Tell you family you love them.  Let go of grudges, remember how short life can be, forgive and let love in.  It isn't easy, but it is - Worth It.