I'm just not good at it

I hear this all the time in the classroom.  "I'm just not good at this poetry stuff."  I"'m just not not good at finding figurative language." Or the one that makes my blood curdle and my stomach sick, "I'm just not good at reading."  Just the other day I was having the students get their desks ready to take the end of the unit poetry quiz.  One student asks for more study time.  I tell him that we had made review flashcards the day before in class and that he had had the entire evening to study.  He says, "Well, yeah, but I didn't." My response was that was a choice he had made then.  Five minutes into the test, as I'm walking around and monitoring, he chuckles and says, "I'm just not good at this stuff."  Not good at it?  Not good at something you didn't study or even look at once?  My response to him was, "Yeah, I'm not good at stuff I don't practice either."

Where does this attitude come from?  US!  We, as parents and aunts and uncles and babysitters and, you name it, we put this attitude into young people's heads.  I wish I could say I am better than most, but I'm not.  If I had a quarter for every time I have said, in front of my kids, "I'm not good at math".  Well, I'd probably be able to buy a nice TV or maybe a not so nice one... but if I've said it once, I've said it too many times.  Of course I'm not good at math.  I haven't worked at it in years.  And even when I was in school and studying math, my attitude got in the way of me learning more and exceeding.  I was convinced from an early age that I wasn't good at math.  Why?  Because it was hard.  Things you're good at are supposed to be easy, right?  Ummm.  WRONG. 

Think about all the things in your life you're good at.  Were you good at them the first time you tried them?  Doubtful.  I wasn't good at horseback riding the first time I tried it.  Lord, those pictures make me cringe.  It has taken years.... years... and lessons and research through books and videos and a lot of time on my butt looking up at the sky and thinking, "this is really hard, why do I do this" for me to get better.  And I'm still not great.  But I keep working at it. 

Want a more relatable analogy?  How about Mario Kart?  I used to be really good at Mario Kart.  When we had the recent epic winter and 10000 snow days, our family turned to the good old Wii to kill the boredom and do something together.  Enter Mario Kart.  I was embarrassed and lost badly every single time.  Do you know what I did?  I practiced.  Literally practiced playing a video game.  Yep, I'm a little ashamed to admit that, but did I ever tell you all how highly competitive I am?  I still can't beat Carter or Sophie, but hey - I've held my own and even beaten Tim a few times now. 

We need to stop allowing our kids to get away with saying "I'm just not good at it."  You're not good at it because you haven't put in the work.  Anything worth doing is worth doing well and that means practicing.  That means putting in the time and effort.  Things you're not naturally born with a talent for (and wow - the list of things that would be for me is quite lengthly) require even MORE practice.  Which brings me to how I am going to talk about this with my students today. 

After that student and I chatted, I waited for the kids to go home and created a slideshow.  The title of the slideshow is "Things I Have Never Practiced" with the subtitle "So I'm Not Very Good At".  In said slideshow I have some great fail photos of things like downhill skiing, NASCAR racing, scuba diving, playing the cello, (I may actually grab a co-teacher's guitar and demonstrate how NOT GOOD I am at playing something I have never practiced) and I think curling and mountain climbing.  Then I have a slide titled "Things I Practiced" with the subtitle "And am Kind of Good at But Need to Keep Practicing".  I have photos of horse shows, reading, writing, baking pies and yes - even Mario Kart.  I am having a little fun with it and definitely poking a little fun at myself at the same time, but hopefully the message sinks in with at least a few of them.  We had an excellent discussion and they were very honest (and laughed a little at the thought of me skiing). 

Things aren't always going to be easy.  There are some things in life that are going to be downright hard.  But if they are worth doing, they are worth doing well!  (PS - For the record, that credit for that quote apparently goes to like 13 different people including the Bible so.....)  So let's model and encourage our kids to work hard and (cue Army theme music) be the best they can be.