Our kids are always watching and learning from us. Don't believe me? Ask yourself if your toddler ever said a swear word. Did you toddler ever say something that was a direct quote of something you said? I believe Libby's was "too bad so sad" and I think it was Sophie that said, "Are you going to cowgirl up or just lay there and bleed?" Yeah, they didn't hear that from a cartoon on TV, they heard that from me, probably more than once. No, I wasn't talking to them, but they were listening. They are always listening. They are listening to our interactions with our spouse, they are listening when we are on the phone and they are listening when we are visiting with our friends. They are listening when we talk about the bills, what we are making for supper and they are listening when we make the choice to talk about someone behind their back. As parents, we need to be better examples of how we talk about and judge others.
Their homes are the number one place where kids start forming their opinions about the world around them. We need to fill those experiences with kindness and acceptance. We need to stop with judging others by the color of their skin, the clothes that they wear, their gender, their sexual preference, their political affiliations or the choices that they make. We are not their judge and jury. Our place is to accept people for who they are and support them in those choices. We need to model civil conversations and disagreements. We need to show our kids that we can disagree with someone without resorting to name calling. We need to model asking questions and for explanations, not belittling and back talking. We need to be better because the world they live in is not. The last 3 years has taught me that.
A person used to be able to look up to our political leaders and examples of how to conduct themselves. They could disagree respectfully. They could conduct themselves like adults who are able to have a civil discussion. Today's politicians are far from civil and polite or even respectful. The president sets the bar and for years now, Trump has been pushing that bar lower and lower. It's no surprise that since the campaign began and Trump showed us that a person, well a white privileged male, can get elected even while mocking a disabled reporter, a war veteran who was a POW and all women saying he can "grab them by the pussy", violence and bullying are on the rise. At the same time as Melania is telling people to "be best", her husband is name calling, ridiculing and mocking others. It makes our job as parents more difficult but not impossible. We can still set the example for what America needs and what America needs is more acceptance, not more hatred and division.
If we want to end bullying, we need to end it at home. We can't expect teachers to end bullying, especially when our president's own son is telling students they don't have to listen to their "loser teachers". Article about "Loser Teachers" We loser teachers can't do it all. We need your help as parents. We need you to have the conversations with your own kids. But more than conversations, we need you to set the example. We need parents to show their kids how they accept that others may not always act the way we expect them to act. We need parents to show their kids it is okay to have different beliefs, not just okay - but interesting, a chance for us to learn. When you disagree with someone, we need you to demonstrate that you can communicate without mocking or name calling. That it is okay to just agree to disagree. We need to demonstrate being upfront and honest with someone, in person, and no longer hiding behind our screens.
We need to stop bullying in our homes and stop waiting for someone else to stop it for us. We need to stop telling our kids to do as we say, not as we do and start practicing what we preach. Then and only then, will we see a change in the world. Change begins with us. Change begins at home. Change is possible!
Article with early examples of Trump's bullying
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