Sugar addict confessions

I'm a confirmed sugaraholic.  For me to choose my favorite way to consume sugar would be impossible.  Cake, yum.  Cookies, delicious.  Bars - bring 'em on.  Candy - so many amazing kinds of candy!  And don't get me started on ice cream.  You know what makes ice cream better?  Add cake.  Add cookies.  Add candy.  That's the only way to make ice cream better.  Not consuming large quantities of sugar every single day is one of my greatest challenges.  Walking past the candy aisle or not opening that bag of M & M's is a herculean feat.  And the holidays are the worst.  Not only are there amazing flavors of candy but... and this is the worst.. they are for a LIMITED time!  You must get as much as you can while you can, because they will be gone and then what?  You wait a whole year for your next fix.  Never good.  So let's start with some of my favorite holiday candies.

Let's start the year off with the next holiday up and coming - Valentine's.  What's on the shelf today that I have a hard time resisting you ask..

These bad boys right here.  Love them.  Love that they have distinctly different flavors so that you can mix them or eat several at a time.  And don't you dare tell me they taste like chalk.  I've umm... accidentally tasted chalk back when we had blackboards, not white boards, and they do not taste anything like chalk.  They are delicious.  Bonus - cutesy little messages for those too chicken just to come right out and tell someone they are cool.

That pretty much wraps up my Valentine craving, except for those giant boxes of mixed chocolates.  But are they really a Valentine treat?  They do have a very similar (although not heart shaped box) version at Christmas time.  How many of you use the enclosed map to make sure you get a chocolate you like?  How many throw it to the gods of fate?  I'm not ashamed to say that my goal is always to get the caramels first.  After that, they are all equal in the eyes of my stomach.  Wait - is that a thing?

Moving on...  Easter is already appearing on the shelves.  And that means my all time favorite treat in two, count them TWO different versions.  The Cadbury egg.  It doesn't get any better than a Cadbury egg.  I know I've blogged on this before.  The only thing better than the gooey goodness of a big old Cadbury egg, are the little mini eggs.  There is nothing else offered even remotely like them.  And guess what Sophie and I found at Christmas time.  Mini eggs!  I hope that wasn't a one time thing and we see them twice a year from here on out.   Cadbury is apparently realizing that some of us can't wait a whole year because they also offer the regular egg at a second time each year.  Welcome, the "Screme" egg.  Thank you Cadbury!

But Easter isn't just about the Cadbury egg.  Easter also brings us the fruity goodness of jelly beans.  Although Jelly Belly beans are my favorite and they are available year round, it is only at Easter that you can get the original ones - complete with the yummy black ones.  Or the Skittles version, those are nothing to turn your nose up at either. 

Easter also gives us Peeps.  Now Peeps have ventured out into all the other holidays so they aren't an Easter specific candy any more.  But they will always be an Easter candy to me.  I don't love or hate them.  They are just part of the holiday.  It doesn't feel like spring until I've had a Peep (or a line).  But Peeps went too far with the Christmas flavors.  Gingerbread Peeps?  Really?  Disgusting.

Last, but not least, let's not forget the Reese's egg.  Soooo much peanut buttery goodness.  Yes, they are unbelievably thick and rich.  A person should, could, would maybe only need one.  But if they are there, in front of you - who can pass one of these up?  And did I hear they make them in "trees" now?  Smart move, Reese's.  

This brings us to the fourth of July.  I know what you're thinking, "Independence Day doesn't have holiday specific candy."  Wrong!  This may have been true in the past, but this year Skittles through a wrench in that plan.  How many of you tried the American Mix?  If you didn't, you missed out.  I wish these were offered all year long.  I believe I had to steal a bag of Sophie's once to satisfy a craving.  But I'm sure I replaced them. Pretty sure. 

Halloween brings all the candy.  Fun size, snack size, jumbo size, you name it.  Nothing too unique about Halloween candy except for candy corn.  I did discover that they make it in Christmas and Easter colors now.  However, candy corn, and their close cousin the candy pumpkin,  will forever be a fall treat in my book.  I know it's the oldest snack in the book - but a bag of a candy corn and a bag of peanuts.  Pure delight. 

Finally we arrive at my favorite holiday.  Christmas.  Christmas is known for its many, many different holiday treats.  So I'm going to pick out a few that we don't get to see in other versions year round.  The first being the chocolate orange.  The only one in my house that gets me when it comes to the chocolate orange, is Libby.  Which is an okay thing because then I don't have to share.  This is another treat that I really should stock up on because it is a sad day when I can't find them on the shelves any more.   Probably good for my waistline though.

These scrumptious little Christmas mints.  The only problem with these buggers is that I, apparently, cannot figure out how to not eat so many that they give me a gut ache.  They are so amazing that I eat too many and always regret that decision. 

 I don't think I had a one of these this year.  Which is so sad and so wrong.  These crazy little peppermint Christmas tree nougats are chewy and delicious.  And only offered at Christmas.  So gone!

Well, this is a little silly because anything Ghiradelli is amazing.  But I adore the peppermint chocolate squares.  Hershey's has a version of peppermint chocolate that is quite good.  But nothing even holds a candle to these little squares of goodness.  Holiday happiness! 

Well - I've shared my favorite holiday treats.  I bet I didn't even scratch the surface of some of the ones I wouldn't turn away.  As I was typing this I remembered those malted milk balls shaped like eggs.  Or the little Dove chocolate wrapped eggs.  Or.... well... I'm just going to quit while I'm *cough* ahead.  Ish.   

Binder loving...

Sometimes I think I’m a little crazy, but the good news is that my best friend shares my sickness.  At least I’m not alone.  I honestly don’t know how disorganized people do it.  Maybe I’m even a little envious.  I am the most forgetful person I know and that’s with everything stored in its place, reminders set on my phone and my calendar in two different places.  How do disorganized people find anything and get anywhere?  

These are just a couple of the shelves in my classroom.  As you can see, I have a binder for everything.  Literally - if there is a new concept or initiative, it gets a shiny new binder (well - not really new, I recycle a lot of binders). And I have binders for home too.  Recipes = binder.  Horse paperwork = binder.  Piano music?  Binder for that.  Binders make me happy.  

The one thing that makes me most happy, besides cute little totes, baskets and post its, is a binder.  There is something deeply satisfying about a well organized binder.  Bonus points if it is color coded.  So imagine my joy when I found this adorable little binder at Target, in the dollar section even!  In the same bin were additional matching pages, pockets, stickers and post its/tags.  Squee! I cannot describe how excited I was to get it home, get it all put together and start writing in it.  I have a new, color coded, wedding binder.  I love it!  

Is it bad that I don’t want to let anyone else write in it or add anything to it?  They might wreck its perfectness.  Time to start planning a wedding.  And I have a feeling that with my shiny new binder it is going to be so much fun!  

Valentine's Day *shudder*

Valentine’s Day.  The holiday of red hearts, chocolates and roses.  I know I’ve blogged about my feelings on Valentine’s Day before.  Feel free to click on past this one because I don’t have anything new to say.  Just more thoughts on the same.  Every year seeing the red and pink aisle at Walmart gives me a little shudder down my backbone.

First things first.  I’m going to preface my point by saying I don’t recall ever having a good Valentine’s Day.  There might have been one in there, but the negative memories have overshadowed any positive in my past.  I’ve been dumped, cheated on, alone, not spoken to and forgotten.  That’s just the ones I vividly remember.  Then there were the times when nothing specifically even happened to me, but my daughters were treated like crap and I had to comfort them while they cried.  All for a made up holiday.  So yeah - this whole feeling about Valentine’s Day has it’s roots.

Here’s how I feel about a holiday that is good in it’s basic premise.  According to www.history.com “Each year on February 14th, many people exchange cards, candy, gifts or flowers with their special “valentine.” The day of romance we call Valentine’s Day is named for a Christian martyr and dates back to the 5th century, but has origins in the Roman holiday Lupercalia.”  Well that doesn’t sound so bad...

Not being a professor of Roman history and having no idea what Lupercalia was, I googled that as well.   According to the website for Minnesota Public Radio, “From Feb. 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain. The Roman romantics "were drunk. They were naked," says Noel Lenski, a historian at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Young women would actually line up for the men to hit them, Lenski says. They believed this would make them fertile. The brutal fete included a matchmaking lottery, in which young men drew the names of women from a jar. The couple would then be, um, coupled up for the duration of the festival — or longer, if the match was right.

The ancient Romans may also be responsible for the name of our modern day of love. Emperor Claudius II executed two men — both named Valentine — on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine's Day.”

Well, now isn’t that ….ummm… interesting.  It’s hard to find value in a holiday that, well, has its roots in such a dark and bloody history.  Shakespeare and others apparently helped it evolve into the gushy, romantic, chocolate covered holiday it is today.  But I still have problems with it.  

I’ve talked about my issues with Valentine’s indirectly before.  It goes back to how we treat our loved ones every single day.  If 364 days of the year we are complaining about our significant others, writing jokes about them, saying “our lives are over”, nagging them, giving them the cold shoulder, arguing, cheating, fighting etc.. , then why the heck does a dozen roses or a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day make it all better?  Why do we only post on Valentine’s Day about how wonderful our SOs are?  “Oh look what I had delivered to my desk, isn’t he amazing?”  Yes, yes he is.  He was also amazing when he made sure your car had gas in it the other day.  Or when he got you that glass of water “since he was up”.  Or when he fed the dog, helped clean up supper, folded the laundry, let you sleep in, asked how your day was, and the million other ways we all tell our loved ones that we love them every single day.  Did you post about how wonderful he was then?  Did you proclaim for all the world to see how thankful you are for him then?  Did you even tell him thank you or that you appreciated his efforts?  That’s Valentine’s Day.  Every single day should be Valentine’s Day.  

I shared a blog a while back that was inspired by the wife of Chris Kyle, the hero of the movie American Sniper.  She reminded us not to write letters for our loved ones to read after we die.  Or even to save the good stuff for the eulogy.  If you have something you want to tell your loved one, tell them today.   Tell them every day.  Tell them multiple times a day.  Don’t wait to remember the good times, relive the happy memories and tell our loved ones how much they mean to us for when they are.  Because after they are gone, after we are gone, it’s too late.  

In conclusion, here’s how I feel about Valentine’s Day.  It shouldn’t be once a year, it should be every single day.  I don’t need a box of chocolates, a dozen roses or jewelry to know my significant other loves me.  He shows me in a million ways every single day.  I try, every day, to do the same for him.  I never want to wait for that one day a year when I feel obligated to make a big show of my love and appreciation.  I want him to feel loved and appreciated every single day.   Some of you are probably thinking, lucky Tim!  He gets out of the big pressure cooker to surprise your significant other with something romantic and heartfelt on Valentine’s Day.  Trust me, he’s busy every single day.  

Describing myself in meme

Alright  - today's blog has no political point, no deep thoughts and really, is just a complete bunch of frivolous nonsense.   But, oh my gosh, was it ever fun.  I was trying to pick up my spirits.  Feeling a little frustrated and down in the dumps.  Not for any good reason either, just one of those days, ya know?  So I decided to cheer myself up by searching funny memes.  And while doing that I realized I was thinking to myself "that is so me" about a thousand times.  So I decided to describe myself using 10 memes or less.  And I'm going to try to hint on some of my "fun" qualities, even those I am less than proud of.  Let's begin.  

Okay.  Meme #1.  Something I'm always, always, working on.  Trying to think things through, give myself space and time and never respond when angry.  It works.  Sometimes.  

I shared this one the other day on Facebook.  So much truth.  Why is it so hard to get dressed?  I cannot tell you the number of times that I have almost bashed my face into a wall or even the floor because my feet are tangled in my pants.  Or I do that hop around the room trying to regain some form of balance before disaster.  Maybe I should consider sitting down to get dressed?

Umm... so that may literally be me today.  Snow day.  Where it took me until almost noon to convince myself to go work out.  Other days I'm able to pop out of bed at 4:00 and get an hour in.

I'm the worst at this.  Luckily my best friend is exactly the same way.  We are notorious for making plans to get together and then canceling them last minute because we are both just too lazy to get out and do something.  Our favorite "days out" involve going to one house or the other in our pajamas to watch a movie.  It's a crazy life we lead.

I like to think that I smile and am kind to others.  But not gonna lie - the things/memes/jokes I laugh at, will never be shared in polite company.

I am a certified neat freak.  Not my strongest point.  I like things where they belong and I am a bit of a germaphobe.  So yes, when something is clean I'd like it to stay that way.  For longer than 10 seconds.  But apparently that doesn't happen when you have kids.

I'm not sure what side of my genetics I get to blame for the red tinted hair, freckles and alabastar (don't I wish that was still a desired trait - I need to move back in time to medieval days) skin tone.  Even in the summer I look like a ghost.  Or a lobster.  There doesn't seem to be much of an in between.

I always have this goal of being one of those moms that keeps her cool and talks in this calm relaxed tone even when my kids are driving me batshit crazy.  That usually lasts until one of them tells me "whatever" or to "jeez - relax mom".  

Yep.  This is me.  Literally all the time.  Even when I am going places I like to hang out with people I love.  I still have to work up to going out and I still have to mentally prepare myself to deal with people.  

This next extra special section I'd like to title "If You Didn't Think Tim Was a Unicorn Before, This is the Shit He Puts Up With".  I get to go over my 10 meme or less rule because it is my blog and I want to 

"You gonna eat that last fry?" Or bread.  Do not leave buttered bread or rolls unattended.  I am literally a carb addict and do not take responsibility for my actions if you leave your food unattended.  Don't want me to steal your food, order something gross.  Like... like... I don't know, I kind of just like food in general. 

I believe we covered the bread addiction.  But yes - we can indeed add garlic.  Anything with garlic.  Bonus if it is garlic salt. 

Well, we can't officially say husband yet.  But I believe we have had conversations similar to this already.  Just need a little reassurance every now and then.  Sometimes in the middle of the night.  Who sleeps through the night anyway?  

Well yes - I do have problems sleeping through the night.  And yes I do check my phone and try to fall back asleep.  And sometimes it is just too good not to share. 

I have shared this before and so far, Tim has been lucky enough that I have behaved myself.  It helps that we live in town and they frown on goats.  It really helps Tim that is.  Because is there anything cuter than baby goats.  No, I thought not.

Have a great day everyone!  Hopefully I don't scare all of you away....  anyone left out there?  Anyone???

Save the Date

I know you all know about the engagement.  Heck, it was Facebook official months ago.  And it seemed pretty “real” then.  But as the months went by and we didn’t set a date or pick a venue or make any real plans or decisions, the wedding came to be something that “might” happen, someday.  For the past 7 months I have been asked more times than I can count if we had set a date yet.  I always had to respond that not really, but we were thinking about January of 2018.  It was a vague, far off date that almost felt unreal.  

People who know the old me would think I would be more than okay with that.  Heck, how many times did I proclaim that I was never getting married again.  I’m sure you all lost track.  But one man definitely changed that for me.  He changed everything. I guess you could say that THIS finally happened.

 I cannot wait to be his wife.  And I was getting impatient for a date to be set.  However, we were waiting for things to fall into place.  It seemed like an impossible task. But then rather out of the blue everything did start to fall into place. We got the go ahead to set a date and it's officially official. We booked a venue and a photographer and… it’s getting real folks!  It will be here before you know it.  We have a date set of July 22, 2017!  Six months from now I will get to marry the man of my dreams, my best friend, and we get to start our lives together as man and wife.  So excited!

We are Warriors!

Sometimes I think I should start blogs with a warning, like today’s blog, I should warn you all that this is a rambling blog that should be a spinoff of “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey”.  Perhaps these thoughts are not all that deep, but I can guarantee you they won’t be that funny.  So you’ve been warned.

Today, in my Facebook memories (which remind me to come back to on another blog), a quote that I shared last year at this time popped back up.  It was a quote from one of my favorite books as a child, The Velveteen Rabbit.  Which, incidentally, is also the book that caused me to treat my toys better and never give or throw one away because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.  To me the quote is probably one of the most powerful messages I have ever read.  I love that it talks about becoming real, but to become real is a real struggle.  Sometimes that struggle leaves us looking and feeling a little worn out, but to those who understand and appreciate it, we will never be ugly.  Wow.  Don’t we all need to be told this and reminded of this.  

So many times friends and I are talking and we talk about how we are messed up, how we have these insecurities, how we don’t feel good about our weight, our wrinkles, our gray hair, our personalities, our jobs, our financial status, etc…  When I shared that quote a year ago, I was struggling with being called “emotional” and “crazy” by someone close to me.  But this quote helped me see that was okay.  That is what happens when you are real.  And those that understand and love us will be okay with that too.  Those are the people that count.  

It’s ironic that the following quote popped up somewhere this week also.  I can’t remember where I initially saw it, but it goes along with the “rabbit” quote so well.  So much of my life I have been made fun of for being emotional; quick to tears, quick to anger, quick to laugh and quick to worry.   I’ve worked and worked on the negative parts, anger and worry, but I’ve also grown to realize that part of all this emotion is just who I am.  I notice things, I notice people and I care.  That’s not always such a bad thing.  Yes, it makes my life more difficult.  But I can’t and maybe more importantly, shouldn’t shut that off.  

I jokingly tell people, including my students - and I might have them convinced, that I am Wonder Woman.  I have the t-shirt (complete with cape), okay - I actually have several t-shirts, an action figure, a stuffed doll, and the book.  It started as a complete joke.  Someone, who was not very happy with me, made the sarcastic comment, “oh I forgot, you’re Wonder Woman,” and of course, rather than get angry, I proudly accepted that title and ran with it. But really, I know so many “wonder women” in my life.  Women that have been broken, beaten down, faced issues that no one should tackle and kept putting one foot in front of the other.  Not only kept going, but stayed kind, generous, compassionate and thankful during that time as well.  We are warriors.  Maybe not the golden rope and bullet proof kind, but heroes nonetheless to those that love us and care about us.  Wear your warrior side with pride.  

Which brings me to a final quote to share.  Sometimes we forget to wear our wrinkles, gray hair, saggy arms, our empty checking accounts and our hearts out for all to see.  We should be proud and share without reservations.  We’ve earned every bit and it has made us who we are, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.  So let’s keep reminding each other, let’s help each other never forget that we are magical, we are worthy, we are warriors!  

Get over it

I promised myself I wouldn't talk politics and I would keep as much of my blog as light hearted and happy as I can.  But I also cannot sit idly by and let people trash talk some of my friends and colleagues. I have two moral codes I stick by: educate the ignorant and never be a bystander to bullying.  It's time I remembered that and said something.  And no, I'm not waiting to cool down on this one.

First of all, for all you people saying that people are protesting because "boohoo their candidate lost" and telling people to just "get over it" because they didn't win.  You. Don't. Get. It.  You evidently missed the boat somewhere.  People are not protesting because their candidate lost.  People are protesting because the President of the United States of America, the ruler of the "free world", arguably the most influential man on Earth is an incredibly corrupt, morally bereft, manipulative, lying cheat.  And it scares the crap out of people.  They are standing up against him.  Personally I couldn't be more proud of them as Americans.

People also say "get over it" because they didn't cry when their candidate lost 8 years ago or 4 years ago.  This may be true.  But I'm pretty sure Obama didn't run on a platform intended to revoke the rights of citizens and set progress for equality back one hundred years.  You know who I hear saying they aren't scared?  My white, middle class, privileged, straight friends.   Oh don't tell me how you grew up poor.  I grew up "poor".  We didn't have the nicest clothes.  My dad worked endless hours to make ends me.  We went without health insurance and vacations and cars that ran consistently.  But we had food on the table, a roof over our heads and clothes on our back.  You have no idea how "poor" some people are.  You have no idea what it is like to grow up a different race, or as a gay/lesbian, or try to get a job as a woman in a "man's field".  I don't either.  But I respect their right to be scared.

Do I agree with the rioting and looting?  Absolutely not.  I will never understand it.  I will never understand how some people can destroy property and think that gets any point across other than making them look like a maniac.  But for the people leading the peaceful marches, I am behind you 100%.  I support your right to stand up and have your voice heard.  They are standing up to his lies, while Trump supporters just make more excuses for him.  Whose building the wall now guys?  And yet, you're okay with that?  How about his "draining the swamp", but that's okay too?

We are all supposed to just "get over" how people talked about Hilary and Obama for the past 8 years (and more) because now Trump is president.  And we aren't supposed to say anything mean about him or post anything negative about him because whether we like it or not "he's your president".  Again.  You're missing the boat.  "He's not my president" is not a statement of what people actually believe, it's a protest.  It's called symbolism, people.  It's a mantra.  A call to war.  A call for justice.  Get it?

As someone who has been told to just "get over it" in the past, I'm not going to "get over it".  (Unless you mean some extended friendships with people who don't get it.  Those I can get over.)    I will not be told my feelings are crazy and unjust or unreal and I for sure wouldn't tell someone else that.  If you don't know the reasoning behind how someone feels, if you don't have the background information they have, if you haven't lived their life, you don't get to judge.  You don't get to tell people they can't feel the way they feel.  And you sure as hell don't get to tell them to "get over it".  You know what you need to get over?  Yourself.

I'm eternally grateful for all the people who didn't "get over it" in my past.  I'm thankful for those ungrateful rebels in 1776 who turned their backs on the king who had provided them with a new start and troops to protect them by declaring their independence.  I'm grateful for the abolitionists in the mid-1800's who didn't "get over it" and tried to remove the greatest stain on America history and free a group of people who should have never faced slavery.  I'm grateful for the women a hundred years ago who didn't "get over it" and left their kitchens to demand the right to vote and the right to move forward in careers.  I'm grateful for the people who didn't "get over it" in the 1960's and fought for equal rights for all of mankind regardless of race.  I'm grateful and proud of every American who has stood up for the rights of others and opened the eyes of those too comfortable to see the struggles of those around them.

I expect my friends list will get a lot shorter by the end of the day and I'm okay with that.  I've tried to keep quiet and let others spread lies and misinformation.  But at the end of the day, I have to live with myself.  I can't be a bystander any more.  

And because I made another promise that I am obviously failing at: