MEC Fall Show update

What an amazing weekend!  I can’t begin to tell about every wonderful thing that happened, every joke told, every milestone achieved because there were just too many to count.  But I’ll do my best to give a recount of my favorite and funniest moments.

Friday began kind of hectic with trying to get the trailer packed and horses loaded by myself, in the rain.  I wanted Libby to be able to enjoy her senior homecoming so it was up to me to get to the show all by myself.  I wasn’t there long and had just started unloading and getting settled when Tim showed up to help.  I am so thankful for him and all his help.  I think back to how scared he was of horses over a year ago and he has come so far.  These days he makes a darn good post holding any of our horses, even for tricky jobs like clipping.  Which we had to do on Friday.  Between Tim and I we got both horses ridden, washed, clipped, blanketed and settled in for the night.  And then we headed home.

Saturday dawned bright and early, before dawn even, and we were at the barn to begin the day.  Can we all just take a minute and thank the Gods above that our show horses are now all dirt colored?  No more white manes or tails.  No big white spots or pale coats.  A couple white socks, but that’s nothing compared to the battle all summer.  We had our horses warmed up and touched up for showmanship in no time.  Now, neither China nor Peach is a showmanship horse.  I’ve practiced a little with China, but not being good at it myself, means that trying to train a horse to do it is impossible.  Thank goodness Gabby took her for a few minutes on Friday and taught her a few things because somehow we managed to not make fools of ourselves in the class and even placed 6 out of 12.  Libby took Peach in, who had never practiced more than the 15 minutes before the class to our knowledge, and also placed.  No wait - she didn’t just place.  She got second with the pony that “knew nothing”, guess Peach showed her.  

So one class down and I already had achieved a goal I had set for the weekend with China.  Place in a class you ask?  No - I didn’t expect to place in anything.  We have been to these MEC shows before.  They are huge shows and they bring out the best of the best in the area.  LOTS of trainers and trainer clients showing.  And here I was with my bargain baby that I had trained by myself.  I didn’t expect to place.  No, our showmanship goal was to trot in a pattern.  And she did that and way more.  

Next we had English.  I was super excited for English.  All year long, scratch that, ever since we got China, I have known she isn’t a “western” horse.  She’s definitely has more of a HUS movement with her springy step and big old stride.  But in SEMSCA, there are no 2 year old classes for HUS horses.  So all year I’ve been showing my English horse in a western class.  So here was her time to shine.  Off we went into the class against these older finished horses and just did our thing.  And we exited out to the warm up pen to hear our placings.  I about fell out of the saddle when I heard our number announced in first place.  I wanted to hug her I was so happy for her.  Finally a chance for her to shine in what she could really excel in.  Next was English equitation and a… pattern.  Which, as anyone who knows me will attest, is my biggest anxiety about shows.  We did the pattern, I bobbled a diagonal once (damn right diagonal) and didn’t expect much as we headed back to the stall to change.  Imagine my surprise to hear we got a second.

Now, if you didn’t think Libby was crazy before, she decided to take Peach in English too.  Why not right?  We didn’t know if Peach had ever worn an English saddle.  We were pretty sure she had never been shown in one.  But why not find out on the day of the show?  Well, typical for Libby, it must have been okay because she went into her classes and had beautiful rides.  That little pony can move.  I just love watching her long trot.  And of course Libby had to show off her equitation too.  She brought home a first in her pattern work.

When western rolled around I kind of relaxed and started to enjoy the day more because, well - I was pretty darn sure we didn’t have a chance in western.  I was showing in huge classes of 16 - 19 horses.  And remember these were mostly seasoned show horses, many of them under the guidance of a trainer or had professional training in their lives.  China and I were doing this ourselves.  Well, I think Libby has ridden her 3 times in the past year.  But unless you count the 4 and 5 year olds we have given pony rides too as trainers, no formal training.  So I decided to just go out and have some fun in western, see if I could get her relaxed and consistent and our goal - to not have her freak out about anything.  Oh, did I mention China got ran into in the warm up right before the class.  Super thankful I was in a western saddle when that happened…  So she was a little spooked about horses behind her at this point, but off we went.  We placed.  Again.  I was just blown away.  

Next was another dreaded pattern.  But China was amazing, even did a pivot.  She got a little nervous waiting for the rest of the patterns to finish so as soon as we were dismissed I went to jog around the warm up a little more and settle her back down.  As we jogged around they started placing the class.  The announcer started with “and in first place, the cute little bay Appaloosa, number….” and I had to stop China and just look down pretending to pet her on the neck because my eyes had filled with tears and I had gotten all choked up. It was truly a moment I will never forget and it may seem a little ridiculous to some.  It isn’t like we won a class at Congress or even Champ Show.  But it was a big moment for the two of us and a personal accomplishment that meant so much to me.  I was so proud of her.  So proud of how far she had come in just a year.  Blown away at the fact that she was a 2 year old and had just won a pattern class.  And I didn’t even mess it up for her!  

It was great fun to get back to the stall and have Libby excited for us too, there was a lot of excitement all around.  Especially for Peach, who had two more amazing rides in her western classes.  Peach had done her pattern with no fussing.  She was virtually flawless, actually we were blown away with how quietly she handled everything.  Nothing at all bothered her that normally bothers new or young horses; not waiting her turn, not waiting at the cone, not the starting and stopping of a pattern.  She just went out and did her thing like a seasoned show horse.  The judge must have thought so too because they won that horsemanship class. Our crazy little pony who we thought would need some work, showed us again that she’s got this if we would just let her.

Next was bareback.  Talk about a whirlwind of a day.  I had mustered up the courage to do bareback, even though I hadn’t done bareback all year and had only practiced a couple times on China at home.  That’s nothing compared to Libby who had never even sat on Peach bareback though.  And this time, there was no junior/senior split.  Libby and I were in the same class and there was some friendly competition about to happen.  I had a great ride considering my nerves.  Libby felt she had had the most amazing ride of the weekend so far. Apparently mine was a little better because I got 5th and she got 6th.  Boy was she annoyed.  But her next class was one of her favorites, egg and spoon, and her second place finish in that class made her day.  Well, except that it was switching her rein hand and a silly bobble that caused her to lose her egg.  Darn it anyhow!  

Once we had the horses tucked in for the night and had a little potluck supper, we headed home to shower and recoup for the next day.  I’m pretty sure I was out when my head hit the pillow.  But it bounced back up again the next morning to head back to Winona and another crazy day of horse showing.

As it typically happens, the second day was a little more of a blur.  Lack of sleep, lots of nerves and laughs and good food caused the day to pass too quickly and not at all clearly.  Sunday there were no patterns after showmanship for us and with me getting out of China’s way, we won both of our English classes.  Almost a clean sweep for my little two year old in the HUS classes for the weekend.  Libby made her clean sweep of English equitation and they placed in the English pleasure as well.  China made it pretty clear how she felt about all these classes....

It was at this point in the weekend when we realized that Libby and I might actually be in the running for the walk/trot belt buckle.  We were competing against each other and about 30 other horses/riders, but had been placing well enough that we should be in the running.  So the pressure was on to do well in western.  Well, not so much for me - but I was hoping for big things for Libby.  You see, Libby had told me about a year ago that all she wanted was to win a belt buckle before her youth career was over.  Just one.  But for several years I hadn’t been able to afford to even take her to a show where they gave them away.  And the couple we did attend she had been riding this project or that project and often times was just lucky to have consistent rides.  So as a mom, every time a show went by that she wished she could attend or wished she could afford the caliber of horse needed to attend, I felt guilty that I couldn’t provide that for her.  And here she was, in the running for a buckle.  Of course I wanted to win a buckle too, wouldn’t that be great for a 2 year old?  But if I had to be beat by somebody, I hoped and prayed it was Libby.  

The western classes went by in a blur with both of us shocking each other with our placings.  My little English horse went right out there in that big old class and won the western pleasure class.  I was just blown away. Unfortunately some vent flaps started rattling in the warm up and China was equally rattled. I wasn't sure if I should do bareback or not, but I decided I would wait to get on until the last minute. Even more unfortunately I didn't remember that there wasn't a split in age group for bareback and my class was going in with me standing on the ground. We ran over and some nice strangers held China for me to get on and we quickly made our way into the class. It wasn't until I was making my way along the rail that I realized I still had gum in my mouth. Of course I couldn't remember if gum was frowned upon in a horsemanship class, but I figured it was so I tried to stop chewing. But as soon as I realized I shouldn't be chewing gum, I couldn't stop chewing gum. So in desperation I swallowed it. That is something I would recommend avoiding at all costs. Nasty. Here we are over a day later and I still feel like it is lodged in my esophagus. But we all had a pretty good laugh about it after the class. Especially since Libby beat me out for a first and I still blame that damn chewing gum.

Gabby convinced me to go into egg and spoon so I would have a chance for that buckle too as I hadn’t done egg and spoon the first day.  It is not my class, to put it lightly.  I can never understand how people do so well.  My egg literally starts shaking at the walk.  But I gave it the old college try and was just a second out of sixth place.  Libby hung in there until 5th.  And then we waited….

and waited….

and waited…

Then finally!  The placings for the buckles were announced.  Of course they started at the opposite end of the placings so we waited some more.  It was fun to hear as many of our friends were placing and picking up their grand champion buckles or reserve champion frames.  Then it came down to that walk/trot buckle. They announced the reserve champion and it was the gal who we thought would win for sure.  Libby and I locked eyes and we both knew it was probably one of us.  And despite how much I wanted to win for China, I wanted that damn buckle for Libby.  When they announced the grand champion as Liberty Onsager she started crying, which of course started me crying. In fact I think I called her a little shit for making me cry.  She was so excited to share her buckle and get a picture of it with her pony.  We headed into the stall area to find Peach literally flat out sleeping in her stall.  She had worked so hard to win that buckle for her new family.  We wore her right out.  She wasn’t exactly thrilled to be woken up and made to sit up a bit for the “win picture”.  Dutch Peach, the only pony at a show full of horses but she sure showed them her POA power.

When the numbers came out, Libby and Peach had edged out the second place horse/rider by only one point and had edged out the third place horse/rider (China and I) by only 3 points.  It was tough tight competition!

Despite all the talk about placings and buckles and how excited we were to have a great show, the truly wonderful thing about showing this past weekend was getting to share our horses with all of our horse showing friends at a fabulous facility.  It is so fun walking down the aisle and seeing someone you have missed, sharing horse stories, or even Lynelle camping and drinking stories.  I laughed a lot, cried a little, sweated some and for sure made memories.  Thank you to everyone who helped with sharing something, bringing food, listening, holding a horse, pulling down chaps, you name it.  The sportsmanship at this event was top notch and the people couldn’t be nicer.  

To China, if she could understand me, I would like to thank her for ending our 2017 show season with all the heart and try that she has always shown me.  Even if the judges wouldn’t have loved her as much I do, I still would have counted the weekend a success because of our amazing rides.  I’m so proud of how hard she tries to please all the time, from showmanship to English, western, bareback and egg and spoon.  I just love this gorgeous girl and am so proud to have her in our pasture and so excited for our future together.  

To Peach, just writing this causes me to get all choked up. From the first few days you were home with us and the first few rides I could tell you would do anything you could to make us happy and proud of you.  You always try to do whatever we ask and you do it with everything you’ve got.  You made my little girl’s dream a reality and you will always be a special pony in her memories, the pony that won that first buckle.  Your sweet nature and calm demeanor were just what China needed when the crowds and scary stuff got to be too much for her, so thanks for babysitting my big baby.  Cannot wait to see what 2018 brings.

Give it to God

I’m having a hard time writing this blog as I feel like there are sure to be some people who will read the title and think to themselves, “Oh good, another preachy post” and tune me right out.  But I have to remind myself that I write this blog for me; for me to read, for me to vent, for me to share, for me to try to make sense of the tangle in my head.  Writing this blog often times takes the squiggly, preschool drawing that is my train of thought inside my brain, and scratches it out in a clear black line on a shiny white piece of paper.  (Although sometimes there are a few sidelines coming off on the way.)  

When I was planning this blog in my head, it started as a blog about personal strife, diverged to a blog about giving it to God and ended with my amazing husband.  And I thought, "no one will be able to keep up with that mess.  How embarrassing."  But you’re going to get it anyway, so either try to sit back and follow this journey of thought or feel free to click on by this one.  Either way, my feelings won’t be offended and it isn’t like I’ll ever top that “Haters Gonna Hate” blog that is now at over 54,000 views.  (Who would have thunk it?)

So personal strife.  Being a parent, what a challenge.  I saw a meme the other day that said “Ever had a job where you had no training, you weren’t allowed to quit and people’s lives were at stake? That’s parenting.”  It has never been more true than as we try to make our way through guiding a household of four teenagers with four different, strong personalities and two different families through the struggles of becoming adults.  There are days when the overwhelming sense of failure is crushing.  There are days when I look at Tim and I see him struggling or he looks at me and tells me everything will be okay and I just shake my head and say, “how in the hell are we supposed to do this?”  And boy, have I felt like that lately.  I’ve spent the last several days beating myself to a pulp mentally with all the ways I should have/could have done things differently.  But the fact of the matter is that I didn’t.  We didn’t.  And now we have to sit back and say, “what do we do now?”

Which brings me to the biggest realization in all of this.  We don’t do anything really.  There are just times in your life as a parent, your kids’ lives, your personal life, that you just have to do nothing.  Well, maybe not nothing.  I do one thing a lot.  Pray.  I pray and pray and talk to God and beg God to listen and help us, because maybe this isn’t my struggle.  Maybe I’m trying to fix something I’m not supposed to fix.  While this affects me and my loved ones, maybe this isn’t my path that God is working on.  Maybe it is my kids’.  I have to have faith in God’s plan and God’s purpose.  I have to believe that my kids will learn from this journey they are on.  God sees the big picture.  God knows what they need to learn and sometimes life’s lessons are really hard and they really suck.  But that’s what makes them lessons I guess.  So I’m doing everything I can do to give it to God.  

I’m sure that people are out there shaking their head that I am the one saying these words.  Melissa, who likes to have control over every inch of her life and all her ducks in a row is just “giving it to God”?  Yes, yes I am.  Because there are truly things in life that I can’t control.  Tim is always telling me that all we can do is “control the controllables”, and while it drives me batshit crazy when he says that, he’s so right.  I’m a fixer and a solver and a doer.  But sometimes the only thing we can do is let God’s plan be shown to us and get out the way.  

I know that in my past I have lived the Garth Brooks song, “Unanswered Prayers”.  For those of you that haven’t heard the song or may not remember the lyrics, they go as follows:

I have prayed for many things over the years that I am so thankful God ignored.  Not that he hasn’t answered my prayers at times too.  But the times when I felt he abandoned me or left me to hurt and struggle were truly the times he was with me the most.  They were the times that I needed to hurt to find my strength or times I needed to struggle to appreciate my blessings.  God knows what we need, when we need it and I need to learn to trust that.  I need to know that as I let go and give it to God.  

I haven’t always had support in my faith and I haven't always been as strong in my faith as I am today.  I've had ex’s who refused to attend church with me, to pray with me or laughed at me for wanting to attend church.  Church was viewed as a way to gain status in the community, not as a way to be closer to God and those who felt the way I did, which brings me to my greatest answered prayer of all.  So many of my unanswered prayers led to right where I am today, with a man who not only supports my faith, but strengthens it.  We may be from two slightly different worlds; Catholic and Lutheran, but our faith in God and God’s will is still the same.  And I have never felt stronger or more loved than I do when Tim and I pray together.  So if I ever needed proof that God's unanswered prayers work out in the end, Tim is enough living proof for me.

So as I drove to work today I prayed. I prayed for our kids, our ex's, our loved ones, those that struggle, those that hurt. I prayed for a forgiving heart, wise words of advice and to be a better person. I thanked God for all of our blessings, which are so many, and I asked him for the biggest support of all. I prayed for the strength to let go and give it to him. And almost immediately I felt God at work in me. For the first time this week I did not mess up my mascara on the drive to work and arrived feeling relieved, strong and even happy. God is at work in my heart as I pray he is for all of you.

Kill Pen Starter Kit

The topic of kill pens floats around in almost every discussion amongst horse people these days.  A lot of times it stems from the slightly controversial Ryon’s Rescue Pen out of Ryon Simon’s sales barn in Minnesota.  But he’s not the only one.  There are kill pens all across the country.  And loads of them use the “buy now or it dies” plea to get extra bucks for horses, ponies or donkeys that come through their pen.  And time after time I hear, “why did that good horse end up in a kill pen?”  There are a lot of reasons equines end up in a kill pen, most of them go back to some kind of owner along the way that dropped the ball.  Sometimes they are just a horse with a few screws loose that aren’t safe or trainable.  But time and time again it usually falls back to a hard luck story, hard luck for the horse that is.

So I thought I’d create what I call the Kill Pen Starter Kit.  Here’s how to make sure that your horse, pony or other equine ends up in a kill pen some day.  If you want to be absolutely sure, make sure you check off as many items on the list as possible.  

The first step is typically before the foal is born, when it is just a thought someone has about breeding.  To ensure that you have the first step down, don’t plan the breeding at all.  Don’t think about what qualities,  not only you, but the general horse market, is looking for in a horse.  Feel free to breed that witchy rank mare because she’s too big of a bitch to ride, I’m sure she will make a good broodmare.  And conformation faults like crooked legs, thick necks, sway back, downhill, sickle or cow hock, big head; don’t worry about those!  The foal will be cute!  Bonus if all you care about is that you have a CHANCE at a cool color.  Because, that is what is important.  If it comes out a solid sorrel stud colt, you’ll worry about that later.  Oh and make sure it is grade.  “You can’t ride papers” after all.  Kill pens love grade horses.

While on the subject of grade horses, if you buy your kill pen wannabe later in their life and it is registered, make sure you “lose” the papers.  Afterall, it’s super hard to have a folder or binder or even a safe where you can keep track of that kind of stuff.  I mean, it isn’t like it is a record of your horse’s lineage, pedigree, previous owners, etc… it’s just a piece of paper.  And papers are sure to make your horse more valuable.  Can’t be having that.  If you want them to have a fast track to the kill pen, you gotta get rid of those buggers.  

If you have created a conformational trainwreck grade baby, there are additional steps you need to take to ensure he or she ends up in the kill pen. Make sure that you do nothing with the baby, for years if possible.  But if you feel like you must play with the baby, make sure you teach it to come after you for treats and push you around.  Bonus points if you can teach it to rear on you as a baby because that trick is “so cute”.  Training should be limited to mauling its owners, preferably nipping and biting, and generally being in any human being’s space.  Make sure it isn’t afraid to turn its butt or pin its ears if it doesn’t get what it wants.  That’s really cute too.

As your baby gets older, make sure you don’t ride it or teach it any sort of usable discipline.  Driving, riding, trail, showmanship, none of that, having a skill will make it more desirable.  You want to make sure you go on and on about how you’re waiting until your little buddy is mature enough to handle training or even just tell folks that “time got away from you”.  Or my personal favorite;  “too many projects”.  No one needs to know you bred all those projects without realizing you would actually have to train them to do anything.  That’s on a need to know basis.  

If you want your horse to end up in a kill pen, make sure it looks as crappy as possible.  Either make sure you don’t feed it adequately enough or on the flip side, obese horses make great kill pen horses too.  Make sure it’s feet never get trimmed. Let those suckers grow and grow, hoping all the while they will crack and chip.  Maybe even make the horse lame.  That’s a sure fire way to get them in the kill pen, almost never fails.  Find a pasture full of burrdocks and let your horse out in there for a while, it doesn’t seem to take long for them to be completely full from forelock to tip of the tail.  And while you’re at it, put some crappy fencing up and maybe a few pieces of loose rusty implements for them to get cut up on.  That helps them find their way to the kill pen too.  Untreated wounds are perfect for that.  I mean who wants to spend money on Underwoods, Vetericyn, antibotics or any other wound spray/coat/lotion.  

If you’re not comfortable selling a horse at auction, but want to make sure they have a direct line to the kill pen, price them super low.  Trade them for something cheap, like a saddle or halter or something.  And make sure you sell to the first person with a couple hundred bucks in their pocket.  Bonus points if you never even meet the people.  Just tell them where you keep the horse and have them mail you a check. Those people are usually a sure bet to be kill buyers or close friends of kill buyers.  Then you can tell everyone you sold your horse or pony to a “nice family” and no one will be the wiser.  And you can even pretend to yourself that you did the right thing!  

I’m sure there are a few steps I may have missed, but this should be a good enough list to get you started.  Just remember; grade, untrained, crappy condition and cheap and you’ll be well on your way through the Kill Pen Starter Kit.  

I Stand.

I stand.  

I do.  I stand for every time the anthem is played.  And I sing along, even when the key is too high for me and I have to switch octaves causing me to do a pretty fair job of murdering the anthem.  I stand for the pledge.  My students stand for the pledge.  I put my hand over my heart and my other hand behind my back (from years of practice as a cheerleader on the sideline). I stand.

But I also respect everyone’s right not to.  Don’t get me wrong, I totally get both sides of this issue.  At first it made me angry to see people standing during the national anthem.  I have family and friends that have served and are serving. I have studied and taught history for years.  No one is more proud of this great country and the sacrifices our military has made for that flag and for our country.  But I get it. And I realized I didn't need to take it personally, I needed to look at the big picture.  

We can yell and scream at the violent looters and rioters that they can protest and protest peacefully and then yell and scream at the peaceful protestors too.  Or wait, do you just want protesting to go away?  That's what I heard yesterday, "I don't like any protesting. I wish the protesting would stop". Should everyone just be happy with the status quo?  Maybe that is what the real problem is.  Maybe you think Martin Luther King Jr’s dream has come to be reality.  You’d be wrong.  There are still horrible injustices going on for our minorities every single day.  And just the way we all talk about those who kneel and those of a different color proves it more than anything any minority has ever said to me personally.  I actually read someone on Facebook say, “I have friends who are black, obviously I’m not racist.”   For what it’s worth, having a friend who is black, doesn’t mean you aren’t a racist.

I came to a startling realization a few years ago.  There is a very real chance that I’m a racist or at the very least a bigot.  I work every single day to change that quality about myself.  There were jokes I said, lies I believed and policies I followed that I never even considered the consequences of.  I know that in my past I perpetuated the stereotype and did not challenge my childhood teachings enough.  I’m trying to change.  I’m trying to be the change.  I’m trying to make sure that my children do not grow up thinking as I did and that they look beyond the color of someone’s skin, someone’s gender, someone’s sexual preferences or someone’s religious beliefs.  I’m reading, I’m learning, I’m listening and I’m trying.  I hope to live in my future better than I was in my past.

I really struggle to explain myself when it comes to these hot button issues.  I can’t explain why I don’t feel that the movement to #takeaknee is a bad thing.  I can’t seem to find the words to discuss how I feel that any form of peaceful protest does not dishonor the flag or our country, but instead is the greatest honor a person can bestow upon their American heritage.  Protest and change is what our country is based on.  We are to be safe harbor for people to exercise their rights, all of their rights.  Not just the ones that give us warm fuzzies and make us proud.  Isn’t our country the one place where people are supposed to be allowed to say what’s on their mind without the fear of losing your job, losing your citizenship or being imprisoned?  If we don’t allow people to protest against the government without fear of losing their job, what’s next?  Not being allowed to speak our minds about the government?  Having to salute the president?  Wearing a pin to show your undying love for the emperor (I mean president)?  Where do you all draw the gray, smudged, blurry line in the sand?  This is okay way to exercise your freedom of speech, but that clearly is not.  

I would like to share the words of a man who said it so much better than I can.  I did not alter his words in any way, I also did not give his name as I am not sure how comfortable he is with me sharing this on my blog.  If he would like to be given credit - I hope he contacts me and I will surely include his name here.  Background is that this was his response to a meme posted about what taking a knee really means that showed a veteran missing his lower leg.  

My hat is off and my hand is on my heart every week at the games I attend, because I am proud to have grown up in this country. However, I do not worship the flag, and I do not worship this country, and I do not put patriotism ahead of the hard work that needs to be done to ensure racial equality in this country. When others want to peacefully protest, I will protect their right to do so, whether right wing, left wing, or center. The moment that we start to let the rights of others be trampled upon is the moment that we set ourselves up to have our own rights trampled on in the future. I have been silent on the national anthem issue, because of course people have the right to disagree with the protests. However, when our President called for people to be fired because he perceived them as being unpatriotic I had to draw the line. For a President to do that is much more disrespectful to our country, our flag, and to the soldiers that died to protect our rights than a peaceful protest during the anthem. I don’t like the false choice that is given, it is possible to be patriotic, support our flag and also support those who want to protest against inequality.

Thank you for saying the words that I find so difficult to find. I could not agree with you more!  I know we all want this to disappear off of our newsfeeds, and I apologize.  However, it was one of those things where I had to at least get my own thoughts down for my peace of mind.  As always, you don’t want to hear, feel free to click on by.  

In Loving Memory Keepsakes

I have a box of tail hair that I’ve been holding onto since 2012.  2012 is when we lost our pony, Levi.  Prior to Levi, we had only ever lost one other pony.  We put Little Star down and never even thought of saving her tail hair.  But after we had buried Little Star, I found out that there were so many really great ways to save a piece of your most treasured friend and lots of them required mane or tail hair.  

Levi was not a pony we searched out.  We got Levi in on trade and at the time I thought he was kind of an asshole. A cute asshole - but an asshole nonetheless.  We let him be cute all winter and then in the spring took him to the barn to tune him up to be my show pony.   He pulled an attitude one time and got what we lovingly refer to an “iron injection”.  From that point on he remembered that he was a good broke pony.  And boy, did he surprise us.  He was literally the biggest, sweetest, calmest hunk of pony we had.  When Giggles got hurt that spring, Levi quickly went from being my show pony, to Sophie’s show pony.  And she couldn’t be beat, one of her competitors called her the “Unbeatable Sophie Onsager”.  That pony could jog a hole in the ground and never stopped a foot wrong or spooked at anything.  There were even times I would hop on, just for the fun of showing him English.  He was the pony that safely took Sophie through some of her first canter classes.  Always got his leads, never spooked about anything (except the time that the turkey flew up under his nose) and was darn cute doing it all.  And then we lost him to a stupid rock in the pasture.  

When the vet clinic called us to let us know that we couldn’t save Levi, we made the trek to say our goodbyes.  I’m not going to lie, cutting that tail hair off was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  It is such a final crushing door closing.  It’s hard to describe, but even though we knew we were there to say goodbye to him and that we couldn’t fix him or make him better, cutting off that tail was the absolute point of no turning back.  

For all these years I haven’t know what to do with my treasured tail hair.  I’ve seen loads of great ideas, but I only have so much hair.  When it is gone, it’s gone.  I want something that will last and that I can have for years and years to come.  A couple of years ago I did buy a locket.  I took a small small portion of Levi’s tail and braided it into a coil.  That coil I put into the locket with a horse charm.  It’s a start.  But what to do with the rest?  

I’ve seen so many people with great keepsakes.  This summer a good friend showed me a saddle decoration that she had made from a lost hooved family member.  I was pretty sure that was what I wanted.  But I was too chicken to take that final step.  I’ve seen hat bands, key chains, vases (a personal favorite but too expensive for me), necklaces, bracelets, rings, and so much more.  Just today a friend shared beautiful necklaces and keychains that she had made with her pony’s hair.  It was an inspiration again for me to make a final decision of what I want to do with Levi’s hair.  

So here I go.   What should I do with Levi’s hair?  Can I make a final decision yet?  Only time will tell.  These are some of my favorites that I have saved...    

I love the idea of a saddle charm… this page comes highly recommended:  http://www.charminghorsehairjewelry.com/

There is always the option of that horsehair pottery.  Mostly sharing for others that may be trying to decide.  This is out of my price range.  But if you youtube how it is done, it was super cool to watch.  http://www.myhorseart.com/

Speaking of out of my price range, but oh my goodness I wish! Check out the rings on this website.  I have my favorite all picked out.  https://www.houseofsalmi.com/

Not out of my price range and one I keep coming back to, I love these necklaces and other ideas she has for sharing your horsehair memorial with a resin pendant.  I especially love the horsehair cross set in the rectangle resin.  Love that!  https://www.facebook.com/ResinReflections/

Here is the one my friend used for her special pony.  I love some of the ideas on this page, including the rustic charms. I also love the rings that this person designs further down the page.  https://www.facebook.com/EquineKeepsakeDesigns/

Too many choices!  And I know that I would love any or all of them.  So now the choice needs to be made. What to do with Levi’s tail?  Or, do you have other favorite suggestions than those listed here?  Anyone who has owned horses for any length of time knows the pain of losing their companion, their partner in crime, their therapy animal, their buddy.  And deciding what the best way is to remember them forever is something I don’t want to mess up.  So help!  

Haters gonna hate on western pleasure

Western Pleasure.  It seems like these days on social media, you either love it or you hate it.  And boy do the people who hate it have a lot of misinformation.  There are times I hate it too.  But usually it is because I know my horse can collect and move like a pleasure horse and she’s just choosing not to, not that I hate the discipline as a whole.  For some reason, other people seem to think it is an us vs them kind of thing.  “I barrel race so I hate western pleasure.”  “I do reining, so I hate western pleasure.”  I will truly never understand that.  Maybe it is because we have a background in POA’s where the ponies are expected to do all of the disciplines?  Whatever the case, let me set you straight on some common misconceptions about western pleasure.

First of all, the horses are not “beat into submission”.  Are their bad western pleasure trainers who use inhumane methods to get through to their horses?  Absolutely!  I wish tying a horse up, deadening tails and some of the other inhumane “training” methods would go away forever.  But it isn’t unique to western pleasure.  There are also bad barrel, reining, jumping, trail, endurance, driving, oh wait - you probably get the point, don’t you?  Our horses don’t go around with their heads level, slowly and relaxed because we beat them.  They go around like that because they want to and are bred to move that way.  

Western pleasure horses are not lame.  Are there some who may be?  Absolutely.  Are there people who ride their game horses lame? Their reiners?  Their driving horses?  Are you seeing my point yet?  Western pleasure horses don’t go slow because they are lame. They go slow because they want to.  We train them to realize that it is easier to go slow than race around.  We let them know that just because we ask for the lope, doesn’t mean we expect to go fast, they can go as slow as they want to. And if they are bred for it, and have the mindset for it, they want to go slow.   We teach them to move with their backs rounded and collected which causes them to move slower.  We teach them to engage their hind end and reach underneath.  It’s a lot of work for them (and takes a hell of a long time to train them to do), but when you get those first few strides of a sweet jog or lope you realize it was all worth it.

And don’t tell me that all western pleasure horses look lame.  There are some judges who still reward the incorrectly moving 4 beat lope (trope) or the jog that isn’t even a true diagonal pair jog.  They are getting fewer and farther between all the time.  Most judges won’t place you unless you have a true 3 beat lope AND you had better be reaching under with that hind leg.  I stood in the line up and heard several judges this year talk to my fellow competitors and explain this very reason for not placing them in the class.  If you’re stuck in the ‘80’s and ‘90’s and still basing your opinion off of that, then you need to stop sharing an incorrect opinion because it makes you look ignorant.  Stop saying “I wish western pleasure would change” and then not even noticing when it does.  

Ugh, then there are the people that keep talking about peanut pushers.  I’m so sick of hearing that “they trained that horse to be a peanut pusher” or “only the peanut pushers win”.  For Pete’s sake!  Go to a show!  Watch a class.  There are NO peanut pushers any more.  If there are (and my horse was one) it is because the rider is a novice or not as good of a rider and cannot get their damn horse’s head up.  Coupe wanted to drag his head along on the ground at the jog.  I spent a majority of my time holding my horse’s head UP.  Stop thinking that we are forcing their heads down that way.  I wish I still had a video that I took of him just loping around in the round pen, loose, with his head on the ground, moving along at a snail’s pace.  It’s what pleasure horses are BRED to do.  No, we don’t expect your colt out of Frenchman’s Guy or Dash For Cash to do it.  Because that isn’t what he is bred to do.  For the record, level headset is where it is at.  And level headset is what is being rewarded in the show pen.  If you google peanut pusher horse, almost every image that comes up is not a peanut pusher.  I haven’t seen more than a few of what you would call a “peanut pusher” since we started showing 10 years ago.  So yeah, if you want to sound like you need a disco ball or neon parachute pants, keep talking about peanut pushers. I hear M.C. Hammer is playing at the Civic Center…

It isn’t about the bling.  I’m so sick of people spouting off about how they can’t/won’t show western pleasure because of all the bling that you have to have to be able to show.  They think you have to have saddles worth thousands, headstalls worth hundreds and jackets covered in crystals.  If you want to wear all that, more power to you.  Some people really really LOVE their bling.  I do not.  To me, most of it is just gaudy.  And heavy.  And hot.  There are some jackets that I do love if they are simple and understated.  But most, gaudy.  However,  HOWEVER, loads of people love their bling.  Just like loads of gamers love their bling.  It is all a personal choice.  And before you get all nuts saying you can’t win without it, bullcrap.  It wins.  Ask any judge if they place someone over someone else because of a jacket.  Or a saddle. Or a headstall.  And they will laugh at you (Well, they probably won’t because they are more professional than that, but they might think of laughing).  They have enough of a job just watching the horse, much less if that ensemble is a pretty.  Clean tack.  Clean and pressed clothes.  Well fitted and shaped.  It’s not that hard.  And it isn’t that expensive.  

I hear people say that they would never want to ride a western pleasure horse and it makes me sad.  I could say that I never want to ride a crazy game horse.  But then I’m missing out because there are a lot of sane and fun game horses that would be a blast, albeit terrifying, to ride.  I think a true horseman is willing to experience all disciplines.  My horse bucket list includes riding a draft, riding a racehorse (on a closed track on an old tired out racehorse so I don’t die), riding a hunter/jumper over short little jumps, riding out west, riding a cutter, and so much more.  I don’t put my blood, sweat, tears and entire life savings into those disciplines, but I can appreciate them. I can understand what goes into making a top notch competitor.  Maybe if we all stopped judging (again that age old lesson), we would open our eyes to new things!  New things are fun. Make your bucket list and branch out.

Bleacher butt

It’s the little things a person takes for granted sometimes, like your tailbone.  I bet none of you really think about the fact that your tailbone even exists.  It just happily goes along, hanging out at the base of your spine, doing it’s thing.  And you, you lucky person you, you don’t even give it a second thought.  I was just like you, until… I wasn’t.

It was midway or almost to the end of the basketball season (and JO) when I really started getting sick of having what I called bleacher butt.  This pain in the rear, literally, from sitting on the bleachers for any length of time.  And the time it took before the pain kicked in got shorter and shorter and shorter.  I started standing at every time out and every break I could get.  And then thankfully, the season ended.  Track started and joy of all joys - you don’t sit at track meets! (You do a lot of standing around freezing your ass off, but not the shooting bleacher butt pain.  Trade-off?)

But the “bleacher butt” didn’t get better.  It got worse.  And pretty soon it was couch butt, dining room table butt and even worse - car seat butt.  The absolute worst was any car ride over half an hour.  Especially with driving.  At least riding I could sit on one foot or shift from one hip to the next.  But driving forced me to sit on my tailbone and man did it start to hurt.  And spring turned into summer…

Summer it became unbearable, sitting in those bag chairs at softball games was excruciating. I gave up and stood for most of them. I know everyone is going to tell me that it was riding horses that caused the problem.  It was not.  Riding doesn’t seem to make it any worse or better.  And English saddle seems to cause more pain than a western saddle, but neither causes any more pain than the average night on the couch. And in fact, at least while I’m riding I don’t seem to notice the pain or even feel it.  Riding is one of the few things that doesn’t seem to hurt.

I decided that I needed to get it fixed before the wedding.  I tried talking to my regular doctor at my regular checkup.  She didn’t have any advice other than the dreaded donut pillow and to be patient.  I tried talking to the doctor at Acute Care the time my back was spasming and I needed to go in.  He thought the muscle relaxers and pain meds he put me on would fix it.  They didn’t touch it.  So I head to the chiropractor.  Three times.  And let me tell you, after the first time I commented that I felt like the chiro owed me a drink for how up close and personal we got trying to put the tailbone where it’s supposed to go.  He claimed he put it back in place and that it was just shifted to the right.  But I’m here to tell you the pain didn’t change.

I bought the dreaded donut pillow.  I tried using it whenever I drove or rode in the car, sat on the bench at the kitchen table, sat on the floor, ect… I worried people would ask me if I had hemorrhoids or just judge silently, but I was at the point where I had to try something.  It didn’t help.  The pain is sometimes almost like sciatica, reaching down my legs.  

I’ve tried stretching, albeit probably not often enough.  I’ve taken time off riding. I’ve taken loads of time off running and the elliptical.  I’ve tried OTC pain relievers.  I’ve tried chiro and massage.  (The massage helped for a couple of days.  She even commented at how tight my muscles were and in her theory, a chiro and massage therapist working together might be able to get ahead of it.)  I’ve whined. I’ve complained.  I’ve caught my breath when I sit wrong.  I’ve spent too much money trying to figure this out and get it better and I’m frustrated.  

Here’s what I do know. I will never again take for granted being able to sit on my ass without pain.  I will never again complain that seats are uncomfortable, because even hard bleachers are better than the pain I feel sitting on a comfy couch these days.  And I will never again take for granted being able to ride down the road in relative peace.  

I know that a sore tailbone is minor to what some people are going through and I vow to stop complaining.  But for now, I have a legit pain in my ass and it isn’t getting any better.  I’ve decided that it is what it is and I’m going back to living my life. I will ride. I will run.  I will do what I love to do and maybe just stand for games from now on.  Standing burns more calories, right?