It's all about balance

Working in food service is all about balance.  I’m sure this analogy could be shared with any job.  There are always going to be times when you have everything going right and times when nothing seems to go the way it is supposed to.  I am sure in some careers it is as lightning fast of a change as it is in serving.  Heck - sometimes those changes, those differences, are happening at exactly the same time.  It’s all about balance.  

As a server, you’ll have those moments where you have a table of 12 come in and they are regular visitors.  You remember that the little boy likes cottage cheese with his fish, that little boy likes the “green root beer” (aka mountain dew), the grandpa likes his tossed salad without onions and french dressing and the grandma also doesn’t want onions but prefers thousand island.  And oh, everyone is so impressed and they leave you a 20% tip and then some.  

That same shift you can wait on another table of 12 with multiple kids, split tickets, added desserts, extra condiments and for their $116.00 tab they leave you $6.  Same service, same “sunny personality”, and some people just don’t get it.  It’s all about balance.  

There are times that the restaurant can be slammed and a table asks you for 4 different kinds of pie, some with ice cream, some without and all while you’re on the go without writing it down.  And miracles - you remember and hand them to the correct person.

That same shift, a table of two can ask for extra ranch and 5 hours later as you’re showering the stench of fries and grease off under a hot torrent of water you remember that you forgot to bring them their ranch.  It’s all about balance.

There are times when you literally write a novel for someone’s special order: “I’d like a Drew burger, but leave off the cayenne pepper, put the BBQ sauce on the side, make the bacon crispy, change the cheese to pepperjack, on a gluten free bun and shredded lettuce instead of leaf lettuce” and the cook gets everything done to perfection.  

The next order, they forget to put the garnish of pickles on the side and your customer loses their mind.  

There are times when a table of 2 comes in and chooses to sit at the 6 top next to the window and you think to yourself “maybe they are expecting someone else” and give them the benefit of the doubt.  Thinking this you may go to the table and politely ask them if they are expecting others.  When they respond in the negative you debate whether it is going to be busy enough to ask them to move to a smaller table.  Sometimes you play the game and let them sit there and it works out just fine.  

Other times the door dings for the next 3 tables of 6, 8 and 10 and suddenly you have no free large tables and a bunch of pissed off customers sitting at multiple booths.  It’s all about balance.

I love the people who politely ask if it isn’t too much work for you to make a malt.  (Note to self - it is always too much of a giant PITA to make a malt and former/current employees get what I’m saying.)  Of course you always respond not at all and of course sometimes it really isn’t a huge time concern. So you make it extra pretty, with lots of chocolate or caramel or strawberry sauce, loads of whipped cream and a cherry on top.

However, it never fails that on the days you are busier than hell is the day that you get three malts of three different flavors for the one malt machine.  This is also the time when you explain to the people that you’d be glad to, but there will be a wait as it is a time consuming process and you get the death stare, the rolled eyes and the short change on the tip.  It’s all about balance.  

On the days that you could really use the money and are feeling great, the door never opens and it is like the old western ghost town, complete with blowing tumbleweeds and whistling theme songs.  

On the days that you go to work with “achilles tendonitis” (which is apparently just what they tell you that you have when they can’t figure out why your achilles hurts and they just want you to “rest” it), or your boss tells you “it probably won’t be busy”, are the days that you are guaranteed to get a 12 top, 10 top, 6 top, 5 top and basically run, or hobble, your little butt off for most of the night.  It’s all about balance, and Murphy’s Law.

There are shifts where a customer finds your service unsatisfactory and chews you out in front of everyone.  The public humiliation reduces you to tears and you barely make it back to the kitchen before breaking down.  

There are other shifts where a customer finds your service unsatisfactory and chews your butt out in front of everyone and you go back to the kitchen and explain the situation to your favorite cook using the f word as a filler every other word before uttering a curse upon them, their progeny and all who dare to love them. It’s about balance (and finding healthy ways to not spit in their food.)

There are days when you get to eat your delicious hot lunch complete with crispy appetizers and a slice of your favorite pie for dessert.

But let’s be real, most shifts you’re grabbing pickles off the garnish tray, spilled fries off the line counter or a piece of cold “mistake” pizza as you try to run out the door at the end of your shift.  That’s balance for you.  

I really could go on for pages upon pages here.  I truly believe that if everyone had to work in food service for just a week, the world would be a much kinder place.  But that isn’t happening so until then, I’m going to keep counting on cosmic balance to even things out.