Well, I got a little long winded the other day about our horse show update. There was, however, a little something I left out. I’m sure I had a couple people were wondering about why that first place in horsemanship on Saturday reduced me to tears. So let me explain a little about me.
I have pattern anxiety. I mean, I have anxiety in general, but I really have pattern anxiety. Have you ever taken a test, gotten to the first page and realized you studied all the wrong information? That’s me when I get up to the cone. And sometimes it starts even before I get to the cone. There have been times that I’ve been walking up to the cone literally panicking because I have zero idea which side of the cone I should be on. And then all coherent thought goes out of my head and I might as well turn around and walk right back out.
Now, you non horse show people are probably wondering what the heck I’m talking about. I’ve got this covered. I have some patterns from this summer saved that I can show you to help explain. Patterns typically are found in three different classes. Showmanship. Western Horsemanship. English Equitation. These classes are judged, not just on the horse, but on the communication between the horse and rider and the rider’s ability to pilot their horse through a set of instructions.
Check out this showmanship pattern:
Showmanship is a class done at halter with your horse. So looking at the pattern, you can see that you are supposed to walk, trot, turn and walk. Sounds easy, right? Except - it isn’t that easy. As you are walking you have to hold your hands a certain way, keep your head up and look forward and your horse should be walking with you with their head by your shoulder. Oh and they should have their head in a relaxed position.
Then you start the trot. And the horse needs to trot right off with you, bonus points if you can be in step together, you need to flow smoothly around that corner and trot a perfect serpentine before stopping directly in front of the judge.
Next is “inspection”. Once stopped you need to square your horse on all four feet. Sounds easy, but trying to get a horse to stand with all four feet squarely and evenly spaced across from each other is kind of like trying to get a toddler to sit quietly in church. It’s possible only after about a million times asking them nicely and about a million and a half hours practicing. Inspection also means that the judge will walk around your horse inspecting your grooming job. Every hair needs to be in place, every extra hair clipped, feet washed and polished, no dust or dirt anywhere. While they go around inspecting you need to switch sides to be in the safety zone of your horse. It’s complicated.
Then the 90 pivot, one of the easiest, anything over 180 gets really tricky. But a pivot isn’t just turning to the left or right. The horse needs to plant their pivot foot, the back right and not move it as they cross over their front legs, keeping their head level and body in alignment.
Meanwhile through all of this, there are very specific ways you need to stand, where you need to look, how you need to hold your hands and when you should move. The pattern doesn’t end until you exit the arena, or if the judge keeps exhibitors in the arena, when the last pattern has been completed. That’s just showmanship. That class doesn’t even involve actually getting ON the horse.
Once on the horse you have a whole new batch of things to think about and worry about, during a pattern and even during a “rail” class, or a class without patterns. You still need to worry about your horse of course; speed, headset, attitude, impulsion, collection, you name it. But you also need to worry about yourself; chin up, shoulders back, back straight, legs back, heels down, elbows in, hand position, and so much more. You are constantly giving your horse cues, as subtle as possible, to collect more, slow down, speed up, lift, lower, turn, shift, relax, etc.. All of these cues are given using your legs, your seat, and your hands and you want to keep them as invisible as possible. Even shifting your weight or turning your head in the saddle should be a cue for your horse.
There were a couple times this summer when I completely forgot parts of or all of a pattern. And there were times when even when I remembered the pattern I missed a diagonal or some other component. (Diagonals are in English patterns. You either post up and out of the saddle with the right front leg or left front leg depending on what the pattern calls for.) Earlier I talked about cones. Cones are also important in patterns. Being on the wrong side of the cone means you’re off pattern and that’s a disqualification. Nobody wants that. But for some reason, I can never remember where I am supposed to be in relation to the damn cone. So I practice it and repeat it to myself and check it with my neighbor about 500 times before the class. And STILL, as I’m about to start my pattern, I have this moment of “oh my God -I don’t remember the pattern”. The hope is always that once I start it will come back to me. But sometimes, well, sometimes it is just kind of a lost cause out there of the horse and I wandering around like a drunk at bar close. Patterns scare the bejeezus out of me, not that I don’t understand their importance. I get that they are the best way for judges to truly gauge who has a great working relationship with their horse and who is the best rider in the class. But they give me anxiety. Heart pounding, dry mouth, can’t breathe anxiety. I try to practice taking deep breaths before the class, that sometimes helps. Helps as in, I don’t feel like I am going to throw up, pass out or pee myself for a few seconds. Realistically I know that the key to getting over my anxiety is just more patterns. Lots and lots more patterns. But the dreamer in me wishes they would all just go away. Forever.
I have ZERO confidence in myself. Did I say zero? Is it possible to have negative points in confidence? Because if it is, then that's me. For me to win a pattern class was huge. Monumental. For me to win it on a 2 year old that I had trained myself was a like a giant shot of confidence straight to the heart. I know that I couldn't have gotten there with just any horse. China is special. She is unique and the easiest horse I have ever started or taken in the show ring. I am super excited for her future. Here's hoping this past weekend was just the beginning of a future of successes for the little bay appaloosa with a big heart.
So… with all that background information and with all that anxiety, I have one final word. I’m not smiling and you can’t make me. Everyone always looks at the picture of someone showing their horse or sees them as they ride by on the rail and says “smile” or “judges love smiles”. I’m sure they do. I would love to smile too. But picture something that you really have to put all your concentration and focus on and then picture trying to plaster a smile on your face while you do it. Picture yourself astride an animal that could kill you if they so chose and then you’re supposed to plaster a smile on your face. I guarantee you that 99% of the time I’m not angry. I’m not usually even frustrated. But apparently my concentration face looks a lot like people’s mad at the world face. To use my least favorite word, whatever. It is what it is. I'll smile when the class is over, I'm still astride and I don't have to concentrate on staying on the right side of the saddle.
So cheers!
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