Here's the reason why this comes to mind. This past weekend, on Saturday we experienced a rush of traffic at the Village. At the time that my one table became frustrated with me I was waiting on a 7, 2, 2, 4 and 12. My table became frustrated that their food was taking so long. I went to check on their food and realized to my horror, that I had not submitted their order. I just don't do that kind of thing. Man, I was disappointed with myself. I quickly conferred with the cook, she put their food in immediately and promised me it would be 7 minutes. Not 10, 7 minutes.
In abject dismay, with my tail between my legs I went back to the table and began apologizing profusely. Both customers were livid. And let me know it. And let me have it. I offered to buy them pie, ice cream, a gift certificate, and they were having none of it. The lady exclaimed they had had a horrible dining experience and would never be back. The husband said, "now wait a minute, we'll take her gift certificate". And she shook her head, waved her finger at me and made some other remark. But you know... have you ever had that moment? That moment where everything just piles on and some unfortunate person pushes you past that breaking point? I never even heard her last scathing remark because I burst into tears and fled to the kitchen.
I was mortified. Do you know how many years I have been serving? I can honestly not recall another time when I have let someone get to me. And there have been several over the years. Heck there was one the previous evening who was not a happy camper because I had let them come in and served them after we were already closed. How dare I!? (That table, the girlfriend came back to the restaurant as we were cleaning up, knocked on the locked door, gave me a tip and apologized for her boyfriend who was a "stupid jackass". Thanks lady!) But even that table didn't get to me and I let this one lady dissolve me into tears. I'm blaming lack of sleep and life just finally getting me down.
On a happy note, my 12 top that was seated next door must have felt bad for me because they tipped me very well and more than made up for the lack of tip from my elderly couple. And my boss and coworkers absolutely had my back and took it upon themselves to take care of the table until my angry customers had paid and left. So, really, this isn't a feel sorry for Melissa type of blog entry.
My point is this. That lady was only concerned about her service. She viewed dining as a methodical, clockwork experience with no room for error. She did not remember that servers, cooks, bus staff, kitchen staff, etc... are all human beings and that there is room for human error. She did not remember that all of us have lives too. That no matter how hard we try, some of that baggage from our personal lives follows us to work. We are not professional actors and actresses. We do our best, but sometimes... I used to be like her. And worse, I thought of myself as an expert because I had been a server so I knew what good service looked like. But now I know differently.
Now when my server is forgetful or not cheery, I remind myself that I don't know what is going on in her life. Maybe a family member is terribly ill and she/he can't stop worrying about them. Maybe she's down to her last dime and trying to figure out how to put food on the table (no pun intended). Maybe she is going through some type of illness or legal battle herself/himself. Maybe this is their second or third job and they are entering their 40th, 50th, 60th hour of work for the week. Maybe her kids are hurting mentally or physically and she's worrying about them. Maybe she is trying to pay her way through college and gets little time for sleep, and has a test in the morning. Maybe she overslept. Maybe she hasn't eaten. Maybe she is fighting the flu. Maybe... maybe...maybe.... do you get my point?
Tip your damn server. Or if you're not going to, because you don't feel the need to, then let us know when we arrive at your table. Save us the trouble of faking that smile, holding back the tears, pretending that the only thing we have to worry about is your favorite dressing on the side.
And LASTLY - All servers start reading here: http://ifyoucantaffordtotip.com/day-life-server-part-1/ And don't stop until you get to the last installment. Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to not die laughing before you finish.
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