Life lessons for every kid as they become adults...

Raising two daughters (and a stepson) to "almost" adulthood has made me realize there are a few life lessons that kids don't seem to pick up on naturally.  So maybe we need to make them a handbook of explicit lessons that will help them be successful adults.  Here are a few ideas:

1.  No matter how tightly you roll the chip bag, it will come unrolled in the cupboard and the chips will go stale.  Use a chip clip.

2.  Fruity and chocolate pebbles become like concrete once they dry in the sink.  Either wash all that crap down or feel free to use the offender's power toothbrush to scrub your sink.

3.  Your laundry isn’t going to fold itself.  And if you wait to fold the first load until the next load is done or the next or the next, it’s an even bigger project that you will put off even more.  Clothes don't stay wrinkle free when you have a mountain of clothes on your couch.  Unless you like the "just rolled out of the suitcase" look.

4.  Once you have washed your hair and your body and possibly shaved various body parts, there is no need for you to hang out in the shower with the water running.  If you want to contemplate the meaning of life, I hear scrubbing floors or cleaning stalls is good for that.  Water bills and electric bills increase with the amount of time spent in the shower.  Some day being able to buy groceries will be more important than that oh so relaxing hanging out in the shower.

5.  If you eat or drink the last of something, tell someone who does the grocery shopping or put it on the list. Otherwise those tacos you made are going to suck when you have to have them on flattened white bread instead of tortillas and cereal tastes like crap with water poured on top.

6.  Don’t believe your kids when they say they will take care of the new pet all the time by themselves.  You will be feeding it or cleaning up after it.  If you don't want the new pet for yourself, don't get the new pet.  PS - Guinea pigs are obnoxious, hamsters are nocturnal, fish die a lot, and cats puke everywhere.  Get a dog.

7.  When your teens scream at you, remember how your mother always told you, "I hope you have a kid just like you some day" and that she did a lot of deep breathing when you screamed at her.  Learn about mindful breathing to save your child's life.

8. "Sleeping in" is not noon.  That’s "you’re not well" or "there is something wrong".  Sleeping in for grown up people with pets and responsibilities is 7:00, maybe 8:00.

9.  Speaking of enjoying it while you can, someday that diet of soda and candy and ice cream will catch with you.  Learn to love fruits and veggies and kale now.

10. Check the settings on the washer.  Washing a load of jeans and sweatshirts on delicate is probably not the most successful thing you have ever done.

11.  You may think it’s funny when your parents complain about wasting money on lights left on, food wasted, clothes you never wear, etc...  Someday when you’re paying for those things yourself and contemplating if you can make it this week on just one box of macaroni and cheese and a package of hotdogs, you will understand.

12. If your house is spotless no one will stop by.  The minute your house is a mess, everyone and their brother will just "swing by" for a visit.  Keep your house clean.

13.  On the subject of lies from #6... other lies your kids will tell you: I’ll never ask for anything else again, it wasn’t me, I didn’t take it, my sister did it, my homework is done, I would never and I’ll pay you back.

14.  Eat the leftovers.  Picky eating is for rich people.  If you're not rich, eat the leftovers.

15. Pay for personal things with a check.  Cash doesn't leave a record.  (Learned that lesson the hard way.  Too many times.)

16.  Always make sure you didn't click reply all and always double check the person you are sending that text to.  It's good advice.  I may have learned this the hard way also.   And I may have had it happen to me.  Like the time the ex texted me referring to me as "the diva".  Good times.  Good times.


Well, I could keep adding to this blog, and maybe I will.  But it has already been floating in my queue for long enough.  So here you go kids, 16 life advice hacks to get you started.  It's a start anyway.

Dream job

Everybody has a dream job.  Some of us are lucky enough to work in our dream job and others are working in an okay job and dreaming of the one that they just aren't brave enough to chase after.  Some of us have lots of dream jobs.  I'm lucky enough to live one of my dream jobs.  Being a teacher is something I can't imagine living without.  I get so excited about lessons, new ideas, books, binders, history and more.  But if I couldn't teach or didn't teach, I have another dream.  I bet it isn't what you're thinking either.

Everyone always assumes that if I could do any other job besides teaching, that I would pick something to do with horses.  Maybe giving lessons or training, just boarding or running a tack shop.  The other one that everyone tells me I should sign up for is writing a book, novel, children's book, etc... I love that idea, however it isn't as easy as a person would think and well, my stories never seem to get finished.  So while those all sound fun, you know what has become a crazy new dream?  A pie and ice cream shop.  I know... I know... I should get enough of that working at the Village.  But see, I love that job too.  Wouldn't it be fun to take my favorite parts of that job and apply them to St Charles?  I even have a name for it.

Missy A’s would be a little shop.  I'd have ice cream, Chocolate Shoppe Ice Cream from Wisconsin of course.  If you haven't ever had it, you are missing out.  We have it at the Village in Harmony, I think they have it at the Village in Fountain and I know they have it at the Creamery in Rushford.  There are a TON of flavors and we have some favorites at the Village like Munchie Madness, This Shit Just Got Serious, Sticky Buns, Almond Joy and oh my favorite - Lemon Meringue.  So, of course we would have ice cream.  But no malts, because making malts is a giant pain in my.... well...you know.   And we'd have those waffle cones that taste amazing by themselves, but also cups and plain old cake cones.  Something for everyone of course.

Then the pie.  I've learned a ton about pie baking over the years.  My Grandma Kiehne was a great baker and I started making pies even before I graduated high school at the Harmony House.  I remember the first time she tried my apple pie.  She said the apples were too hard but it was "better than she thought it would be".  That was a huge compliment coming from my grandma the task master.  She shared her recipes with me as well.  They were kind of a challenge to sort through as they often were things like, use that green coffee mug full of flour.  Ummm.. great, but what happens when I'm at my house and I don't have the green coffee mug?  Or "add milk until it looks right".  Grandma!  I don't know how to make it.  I don't KNOW what looks right!  She put up with me and I learned a lot.  I have picked up a little from others over the years.  I'll never forget Ethel Long and her tips for perfect meringue. But it was Julie at the Village who taught me how to make crust.  I'd tell you her secret, but then I'd have to kill ya.  ;)

And what about cheesecake?  Oh yes - there would be cheesecake.  You should see all the recipes I have pinned for cheesecake.  Am I the only person in the world who loves cheesecake?  All kinds of cheesecake.  What other desserts would you crave or want in a pie and ice cream shop?  Bread puddings?  I have a pile of recipes for those saved.  How about my famous rice pudding, with or without raisins?  Brownies?  Does it get any better than brownies AND ice cream? 

What else would we have besides pie and ice cream?  Well, everyone's favorite soups of course like loaded baked potato and chicken wild rice.  The challenge would be not eating it all before any customers.  And bread.  We'd have some kind of bread.  Fun breads, different breads or rolls?  Maybe rolls...  And cinnamon rolls right?  What's a pie and ice cream shop without cinnamon rolls to kick off your morning coffee just right?

I have a vision of this little shop with a few cute little two seater tables and a couple of comfy couches.  (Picture Central Perk from Friends)  It would have a little book swap rack so folks could come in, have pie and coffee and enjoy a good book or swap it out for a new one.  I have a color palette and decoration theme all picked out.  And of course, it would be eclectic yet rustic and furnished with thrift store/garage sale finds.

Obviously I've thought about this dream a lot.  Someone once told me that you can have any dreams you want, they don't hurt anyone.  So while I keep my feet firmly on the ground, I'm going to keep dreaming about Missy A's.  It's not hurting anyone, right? And who knows?  Sometimes dreams really do come true. 

Today is your wedding day, and I prayed

So I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that you’re getting married today.  I want to be happy for you.  I want to put my past behind me and move forward with a forgiving heart.  I want to never think about you again.  But I can’t.  So today I prayed.  I prayed about you again as I have prayed so many times in the past.  And I prayed for all of those whose lives has touched yours.


I prayed for a forgiving heart that can forgive you for the years of hurt you heaped on me.
I prayed to forgive you for the cheating.
I prayed to forgive you for making me hate myself.
I prayed to forgive you for the anxiety, the self doubt that is always my companion now.
I prayed to forgive you for making me so scared I still struggle to trust my loving and ever faithful husband.
I prayed for the many women before me, including both your ex wives and the women after me.
 I prayed they have found themselves again and healed.
I prayed for your wife.

I prayed that she keeps the love of herself, her convictions and her happy heart.
I prayed that when you cheat she finds out and has the strength to move past the hurt.
I prayed that you never make her feel weak or insignificant.
I prayed that you never gaslight her and make her feel crazy.
I prayed for her friends and family and that they weren’t torn from her as mine were.
I prayed for her kids and yours- that they would someday have healing and know what a real family/relationship is.
I prayed that you have learned to put others before your own wants and needs.
I prayed that somehow, someway you have beaten the unbeatable personality disorder.
I prayed that you would keep the promises you made when I finally got you out of my life and finally get the professional help you need.
I pray that you stop all the lies and start being honest.
And I pray that when you hurt her, when she finally gets free of you, that she has amazing friends and family like I had to lift her up and pick up the pieces.
And I pray, I pray, and I pray that someday I will be able to move past what you did, what you continue to do and finally remember you without anger in my heart.

Settling in to the new house

So we've been here just a few days past 6 weeks.  You have probably seen me on Facebook begging for rain. Since we moved we have not even had a total of an inch of rain.  However..... that small hitch aside, we are loving, in love with our new place.  This place is our literal dream come true and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars to be here.  Even though our pastures are currently toast, we have pastures!  I can get up in the morning and do my horse chores, literally in my pajamas.  Those of you who have your horses at home, you just don't know how amazing it is to not have to drive somewhere just to see your horse.  You have a bad day and just need to put your forehead on your horse?  Walk out and give her a hug.  No witnesses.  No awkward conversations.  No half hour round trip and making sure the car has gas, you have your license, your phone is charged.  Just horse therapy in the privacy of your own back yard.  But our place is so much more than pastures.

Many of you probably have followed our Facebook page for our newly named page, Berry Sweet Acres.  On that page I shared a walkabout tour of the new place.  I haven't listened to it because, yeah, I don't do the whole video making thing.  But at the time it was the best way to get everyone a quick view of what our place was shaping up like.  We have more than pastures.  We have flowers!  Lots and lots of flowers and I love flowers.  I am a little nervous about the large number of bulbs that I will need to dig and replant as there are a lot of glads, calla lily and dahlia.  I have never been a bulb girl, but these are gorgeous!  Then there are the star gazer lilies, the morning glories (oh how these make me happy), the clematis, trumpet vine, and the primroses!  Primroses everywhere in every shade of pink.  I'm in love with primroses.

In addition to the flowers and the ponies, our big chickens are oh so happy to be here.  They have a new big "coop" which is actually an old room in some portion of a previous hog barn.  Windows, concrete walls, added a couple of swings and nesting boxes and they are delighted.  But you know what they are even happier about? Being able to be free range.  It is so rewarding to see our chickens out and about, scratching around, hiding under the bushes and yes, even getting to watch Iggy chase the cats and dogs.  Heck, Iggy even thought she could puff up and scare Cutie.  Cutie wasn't amused (or frightened).  Our place was much too big for just 3 chickens so we ordered my personal favorite special assorted bargain from McMurray Hatchery.  Our chicks arrived as straight run which means we have no idea how many hens or roosters we have.  We also don't know which breed any of them are, but that's the fun of it!  Watching them feather out we are starting to make our guesses, but gosh knows most of them will probably be wrong.  They are just over two weeks old today and their coop got a little remodel today.  Well, both coops did.

We also have farm kitties.  We acquired 5 of them with the farm; Lady (the momma kitty) and her two calico kittens, Old Yeller the tomcat, and Pippi.  The two kittens are now young cats and Momma has weaned them.  Since they are more than half wild and we can't get close to them we have affectionately dubbed them Thing 1 and Thing 2.  Not that we can tell them apart.  Maybe they should just be Things.  Before we moved we came to meet the cats.  Sophie was the only one Walt let near and the only one he could catch was Pippi.  And she wasn't all that tame.  Days after moving, Sophie still hadn't seen her cats and was afraid we had chased them away with all the commotion so we went and got her another older kitten, a black and white, from a friend of a friend.  Guess who showed up the next day?  The other 5 cats.  So I guess you could say Soph has a few cats.  Although Robin, Pippi and Yeller are really the only 3 you can pet or are underfoot so that's a good thing.

So what have we done in the last 6 weeks besides move and unpack boxes?  Well, we have been busy.  I feel bad because every time Tim gets his own personal to do list checked off, I add new things. (I blame Pinterest - curse you Pinterest.)  But it is also a Godsend too. My poor hubby always has said he isn't handy.  So when we moved here he was a little nervous about the things that needed building.  He wanted to find someone to help.  But guess what, he did a great job.  I hope that he has learned he can build/do anything.  Of course, Youtube helps. Thank you Youtube!   I'm not embarrassed to say we have had to look at a few tutorials, like "How to install a concrete wedge anchor." That's not basic info in every 6th grade teacher's toolbox.  I can't even say I helped with most of the projects because most days I went to work and came back to find it done.  Let's see what I can remember...

1.  Tim put up a shelving/closet area for his clothes in the laundry area.
2.  He hung up a drying rack/shelf in the laundry area.
3.  He put up closet rods for the girls' room.
4.  He built stalls. STALLS people.  Four of them.
5.  We put up fence.  A lot of fence and made 3 separate pastures.
6.  We put up the outdoor arena and got it leveled (complete with cutting down the tree).
7.  Tim got the boards up in the indoor and ready for the fill.
8.  Lots of trees trimmed and cut back.
9.  We are figuring out the lights, the switches, the keys and more here.  (No one understands what a project that has been.)
10.  We have picked a LOT of berries and frozen as many as we can.  Guess what - round two is ripening on the vine.
11.  We have weeded, sprayed, and replanted (Did you know you can move tomatoes KIND of successfully?)
12.  I have fallen in love with the golden raspberry.
13.  We added fill to the indoor and removed a lot of spikes/nails on every board in the indoor.
14.  We've watered.  A lot.
15.  Put up chicken roosts, nesting "boxes" and chicken wire.
16.  We hung up a curtain until we can get bedroom doors.  Yeah, that is a big project we still have left to do.
17.  Sophie has tamed 3 wild kitties.
18.  Tim turned into Paul Bunyan and whacked down the annoyingly overgrown cedar tree blocking the front entrance.
19.  Tim made me this really cool feeder for my pawing and dish flipping ponies.

What have we learned?
1.  We have a lot of keys.
2.  A lot about raspberries and not enough yet.
3.  A lot about trees and how they grow and what they are worth (and that we have a lot).
4.  Screws - why are there so many different shapes, sizes, weights, lengths....
5.  Horses are hogs.  (Oh wait - I already knew that.)
6.  The fence is hot.  (Ask Tim how he knows)
7.  Some of the switches run certain lights, some run fans, some don't run anything?  We are still learning this.
8.  People take doors on their bedrooms for granted.
9.  It's important to take a little down time too every now and then.
10.  Is it battery drill or cordless drill?  That debate may never be solved at our home.

It's truly been a dream come true to live here.  I love picking raspberries off our many plants and even more so, I love eating them.  I love the beautiful flowers they have planted and those that seem to have just taken off on their own.  I love taking a walk through the woods and watching the sunset over the corn.  I love the campfires and s'mores.  I love my big open house with it's hardwood floors and my pretty little master bedroom.  I love my new pony barn (and we need to stop calling it the hog barn) with it's shiny new stalls and deep mats.  I love my hay storage area and grain storage and the chicken coop!  I love that my chickens get to roam around the entire farm and they are so happy to do so.  I love everything about our farm and I love how happy our family is to share it.

We are all looking forward to our end of the summer get together this coming Sunday.  Can't wait to share our "little patch of heaven" (cue music from Home on the Range) with our friends and family.  And folks, can we all just pray for a little, but preferably a lot, of rain in the meantime.  We've gotten skipped most of the last few showers and it is toast here.

MEC: third weekend show update

This past weekend we took a crew to the third in the series at MEC in Winona.  We love these shows with their family friendly atmosphere, yet they are organized and well run with fun prizes.  Each weekend has its very own set of memories that are made and each is special in their very own way.  This weekend was special in that Sophie got to join us for the first time. 

After the Appaloosa show, Sophie commented that she wanted to show with us at the next MEC weekend.  She was bummed to hear that her sister started the series on Peach so she wouldn't be able to show her.  She knew we were getting Cutie back but there were a lot of obstacles in the way to her and Cutie being able to show.
1.  Cutie hadn't been in a show ring for several years.
2.  Cutie hadn't even been ridden for almost a year.
3.  Cutie would have to ride one handed in a shank bit which she had never done. 
4.  We have a 3 horse trailer and Cutie makes 4.
5.  Sophie had borrowed tack and clothes from her sister in order to show Peach, she wouldn't be able to borrow for this show. 

Despite all that, once we picked up Cutie, Sophie rode her every day and was determined to bring Cutie back into show shape. She knew she wouldn't be able to show her, but wanted to be ready for the first chance a show came along.  She worked her tail off around the farm and did every chore I left on her to do list each day.  She really deserved to get to show a pony, I just didn't know how to make it happen.  But horse people being who they are, they set out to make it happen for her.  Privately I started messaging people to see if we could throw this together on the day we were set to leave for the show.

First my friend Lynelle stepped up to offer a ride for Cutie to and from the show.  Then the show manager managed to get us a stall and when I said we didn't know if we could do English, she just happened to have some English clothes we could borrow AND knew where we could borrow some English boots.  We were getting closer!  Gabby lent us gloves and a bridle. We borrowed an English saddle from our friends Dawn and Greg and her sister agreed to help her put a western outfit together and loaded what western tack we did have. Sophie was with me at work and we both had to work late so were rushing when we got home.  I wanted to get our horses loaded and be on the road before Lynelle got there to get Cutie.  We left Libby behind, saying she would follow in the car with a few things. 

It was so hard not to say something as Sophie complained about her sister on the way to the show. First saying her sister was mean and told her she couldn't even ride Peach in the warm up because it was her turn to show Peach.  Then complaining that her sister was a no show and was slacking because she didn't follow us right away and we had to unload all of our stuff by our selves.  Finally Lynelle arrived at the show and I told Sophie that we needed to go help her unload her horses.  We came out of the barn and Soph walked up to the back of the trailer.  As I popped open the door she was being silly and saying, "oh look at the ponies" but when she recognized the spotted blanket butt in the back stall she immediately looked at me in shock.  She started crying as she said "you brought her!" and hugged both her sister and I and got us almost crying too.  It was a long Friday night of getting four ponies ready for the show the next day but it was great to have both my girls in the ring with me again together.

The next day was a tough first day back for Cutie and Sophie.  She didn't have big expectations, but was hoping for one ribbon.  We were very proud of Cutie though.  She handled so much that she either had never done (ride one handed) or hadn't done in so many years.  Never got nervous, never jumped, just acted like an old seasoned show pony out for another weekend.  She is such a gem that one.  I cannot believe how great a good pony truly is.  And she's a great one.  Sunday was a much better day.  Almost too good in that Sophie and Cutie placed above Joker and Libby in two classes; English pleasure and English equitation. Even taking a second in the equitation.  They also placed in western pleasure.  After years off, throwing new things at them and only a couple days together.  These two are the team to watch!

Libby and Peach also had a fantastic weekend.  They were only two points away from a reserve championship in intermediate judged events.  Of course my favorite is always watching them in that egg and spoon class.  I wish I could unwrap how Libby does it.  It's definitely a very special skill that she has.  They also had beautiful patterns.  Peach is really turning into the pattern machine and I am so proud of how she is maturing and learning this season.  She is turning into the kind of dead quiet, dead broke pony that we had dreamed she would be. 

Libby and Joker really knocked it out of the park this weekend and took home the first of many awards in these duos future.  They were reserve champions in the walk/trot junior division for the weekend.  This is a deep group of very talented kids on strong horses.  Not something to shake a stick at. So excited for their future. 

Lastly it was China and I going for the buckle again. We fell a little short this trip and took home a reserve championship.  I'm so proud of her.  I'm most proud of our clean sweep in the English classes.  Now to work on my equitation and work on components of her pattern work.  If I could just hold up my end of the bargain, she will be unbeatable.  Our goal for the rest of the season is showmanship.  I am going to get over this phobia, this anxiety and this hatred of showmanship if it is the last thing I do.  I know that if I knew what I was doing and had confidence in what China would do, it would be a whole different ball game for both of us.  So we are going to practice and get lessons and learn, learn, learn until I can stand at that cone with some confidence. 

Oh and PS - I placed in egg and spoon!  Both days.  Yay me! 

Thank you to all of our show friends and family.  Thanks to those who made Sophie's weekend with her surprise.  Thanks to all who told me how much they love China, who helped with tack, forgotten items, checking on our ponies, you name it.  Horse people rock!

So you'd like to ride my horse....

I see memes and posts about this from time to time.  A lot of equestrians do not want and will not allow others to ride their horse.  I guess I fall on the fence on this one.  I love sharing our horses with my nieces and nephews.  They are so adorable and it makes their day to ride around on China and Peach.  And for the most part, I think China and Peach soak up the attention.  Nothing makes me happier than getting videos of my niece and her stick horse named China or asking when she can come ride China again.  But turning someone loose on my horse, not giving pony rides, is a whole different story.  I'm still okay with it, but let's just say it does ramp up my anxiety a little (okay - a lot).  Let me try to make an analogy.

Let's say you had saved up and saved up to buy a fancy new car.  You get handed the keys to your new car and the dealership explains that your car needs to be programmed to drive.  It doesn't know what to do when you turn or hit the brakes.  You have to do repetitive practice asking it to stop or turn exactly the same way time after time before your car will be programmed to do what you want it to do.  And if you mess up and forget to ask it the same way or allow it to turn right when you meant left, you'll have to start over. 

So you spend hours programming your car, sometimes in the heat, sometimes in the freezing cold.  Sometimes in the rain, the wind, the bugs, while you're sick or tired or just want to sit down and stare at the shiny new care.  But you know if you don't keep programming it, you'll never be able to drive it at all.  Meanwhile you are working a second job because the new car needs special fluids, gasoline and accessories.  Everyone tells you how it "must be nice" to be able to afford such a nice car and how much they want to come drive it.  All the while you are logging 60 hours a week at two jobs to be able to afford your car. 

Finally you start to really figure out the car and have it tuned in just the way you like it.  So you decide to start taking it to some car shows to show off how well programmed your car is.  You spend hours getting ready for the show and dollar after dollar, only to have the car glitch and go the wrong direction at the show.  So back home you go to reprogram the car and get it ready for the next show. 

You put new tires on the car, have a specialist look at the car and do some fine tuning on the programming, purchase some higher end accessories and head off to the next show.  But your best friend's cousin's sister has never gotten to drive a show car before so she wants to come out and give it a spin.  Feeling generous, you let her get behind the wheel.  Being excited to drive such a cool car, she steps on the gas and the car shoots forward instead of gliding into the next gear smoothly. Since she doesn't know better, she jams the car back a gear, grinding on the new clutch and jerking the wheel to the right when she actually means left and overcorrects to go back the other direction.  You groan as she happily slams on the brakes and the car jerks to a stop in front of you.  You've made her day, but as you look at your shiny set of wheels, you know that you have a lot of reprogramming to do and not a lot of time before the next show.  But it was worth it to see how happy you made her this special day.

Now imagine that the car was not an inanimate object, but a living, breathing animal with a mind and moods of it's own.  Imagine that the car could become scared, confused, frustrated and downright angry.  Imagine the hours spent building a relationship of trust with that living breathing creature, trust that while you would protect them, they would chose not to bury you into the ground and then stomp the life out of you.  Then imagine handing that trust over to someone else. 

I will keep giving pony rides, I will keep sharing my horses with others because once upon a time, someone shared their horses with me.  But if you're one of those people who I let get a pony ride or two, just know that to me, that's a huge honor.  Riding someone's horse isn't something to be taken lightly. 

Mommas don’t let your babies grow up to be teachers

Sometimes around this time of year I will share posts that jest about how teachers are freaking out or not ready for school to start.  Memes like this one for example...

And people will say, "I thought you loved your job.  You should be excited!"  The truth is I am excited, I do love my job, but boy- I would love to get paid to sleep in until 7:00, pick raspberries, blog, ride my horses, play with my puppy, read, etc...and a lot more.  As jobs go, I wouldn't pick any other one.  But if a girl could get paid to sit at home and not work at all, that would rock.

However, as much as I love my job and get excited about new reading ideas or some stupid history show on TV, I would not wish teaching on my kids or the generation that is just coming into the career.  I sure hope they come in with backbones of steel and the will to do what is right no matter what.  Because for the most part, public opinion is not with teachers, it is against us.  All you have to do is log into Facebook and you will see.

Education is in a lose/lose situation right now.  Quite frequently I see the meme posted that rants about the kinds of things that should be taught in school.  Some of them are "sew a button" and "change a tire".  I think balance a checkbook is on there too.  You know what I think when I read that list? "Hmmm.... maybe parents should try, I don't know, parenting?"  Teach your kids the things that parents should be teaching their kids and we will stick to teaching them about the things you may not be an expert in, like psychology, American history, algebra, physics, biology, music theory, grammar, the elements of writing and more.  But hey - you want us to teach that stuff in school, okay.  Then you can't do the next thing which I see parents complaining about on Facebook.  Complain about how we don't get everything done in school.  See below.

Homework.  Why do teachers have to give SO MUCH HOMEWORK?  Head.  Desk.  Teachers can't win.  Teach all the subjects.  Teach all the life skills.  Get it all done during the school day.  And you had better do a damn good job because if my kid doesn't succeed on the statewide tests, then it is all your fault.  Never mind that I have them signed up for every after school activity, sport and club known to man and we have zero time to work on academics.  Why do teachers give homework?  Because we have standards that need to be met and sometimes your little lovely doesn't use their class time effectively to get those standards met.  Shocking information I know!  And sometimes your little lovely is an achiever and wants to go above and beyond the requirements to make their assignment, story, project, etc... amazing.  God I love those kids.  I can relate to those kids!  I was that kid.  Let's just take a moment and celebrate those kids.

I also hear that homework takes away from family time.  I'm calling BS on that one.   I know some families that do an amazing job of family time.  They do crafts, go for walks/runs, work in the garden, visit museums, read books, play games and all sorts of awesome family activities.  I'm actually kind of jealous of those people.  I aspire to be more like that.  We do our best but I have a feeling we fall more into the category that most parents do.  Our family time seems to alternate between attending some kind of sporting event or where each family member is doing their own thing and the kids are spending entirely too much time with electronics.  I would love to see the homework become family time.  When kids come back and tell me that they shared their homework with their parents or talked to them about a novel we are reading, I am thrilled. It doesn't get any better than that.  Parents who are involved with what their kids are learning have kids that are active learners.  The single best thing you can do to help your child succeed in school is stress how important it is.  (Even if you don't feel that way deep down.) But too often that's not what I see or hear.  I hear parents venting about school on social media, complaining about homework, reporting teachers, saying how they never needed algebra or economics or history, etc...  After that message at home, teachers are supposed to motivate students to learn and get them excited about that lesson on the founding fathers.  And when we don't, parents and students complain that teachers don't make learning fun for kids.

I love my job.  There is a lot of venting and complaining in the previous paragraphs.  The reality is that I love a challenge.  I'm all for that kid that walks in my classroom and tells me they don't like to read and have never found a book they like.  I'm all for the kid that says, "history is boring".  Those kinds of kids bring out the best teacher in me.  All we ask is that parents meet us halfway.  I once heard the story of a teacher that told parents who came to complain about something that their kid had said happened at school.  That teacher told the parents, "You believe half of what the kid tells you happens at school and I'll believe half of what they tell me happens at home."  That isn't half bad advice right there.  That and remembering that our lovely little cherubs will likely say almost anything to get out of trouble.  I remember trying to complain about teachers to my parents when I was young.  It went like this...
Me: And then Mr So and So said this and did this and it so wasn't faiiiiirrrrrr.
My parents:  Yeah.  But what did YOU do?
I don't know WHY they never thought is was all the teachers fault.  I mean, I was the perfect little angel.  I jest and you know I wasn't the perfect angel.  The truth is your child isn't either.  And the cold hard truth is that the teacher probably had a very good reason for what they assigned, the consequence they handed out or the reward that was given.  If you have a question, ask!  We sure don't mind sharing and we love hearing from all of you.

If the rants against teachers on social media weren't enough to make teachers feel like hanging up the 3 bags of stuff we haul back and forth to school everyday, then you add in that the state and federal government keep passing laws and mandates about what we should be teaching.  And not just what, but when.  And how.  And to who.  All by people who, 90% of the time, have never set foot in a classroom and do not understand kids or how they learn.  Oh and if our students don't do well enough on their state mandated tests, then we must be poor teachers.  Never mind that students are figured into the equations and percentages who don't speak the language, or moved to the district a week ago or have never attended a Minnesota school, etc... 

Here's the truth, we teachers are going to keep doing what we are doing.  We will keep working 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet after our teaching hours are logged.  We will keep bringing work home on nights and weekends (yeah, there goes our family time).  We will keep buying our students binders, markers, notebooks, highlighters, glue sticks and post it notes.  We will keep buying educational materials from Teachers Pay Teachers and ABC Toy Zone with our own money all while parents complain about ALLLLL the school supplies on the back to school shopping list.  We will keep researching and reading and attending classes and workshops (many times on our dime).  We will keep trying to be a better teacher because that is what we do and what we live for. 

But guess what I'm not going to encourage my kids to pursue as a career choice? (Well, besides off shore oil rig repairman....)