The last few weeks, and especially the last few days, have flown by in a fluster of phone calls, meetings, appointments and lists. There are a lot of things to check off in a wedding. Even a wedding as simple as we tried to keep ours. And just when you think you have everything done, something else comes up. Did you make a list for the photographer? Did you remember to call the bar? Did you confirm with the DJ? And that last minute craft project. (Curse you Pinterest!) But in all that, it is so important to keep reflecting back on why you're having this wedding and in the grand scheme of things, does what you've got on that list really matter?
There is a lot of perspective gained by having it be our second wedding. I know I wasn't nearly this calm before my first wedding. And really, did the fact that the cocktail napkins with the embossed design and our name/date not getting ordered or picked up affect our marriage? Not even close. There were a lot of things I should have been worrying about that day, and napkins weren't it. Did anyone even notice? I kind of doubt it. And if they did? What is the reason for the wedding again? Napkins? Impressing others?
I got sucked into it a bit. You want your wedding to be beautiful. You want your guests to be happy. You want everyone to have a great time. And I let myself worry about that. Too much. As Tim left last night he reminded me that even if it rains, even if nothing goes as planned, even if there is some great faux pas or catastrophe, at the end of the day we will be married. We will be Mr and Mrs Andring forever and that is what is the only important thing about today.
So as I sit here worrying about if I have enough lemonade and do I need a basket of this or that for the guests, I also sit here and think, eh... there is always water. (Sorry everyone! But water is good for you, I'm just thinking about your health or something.) I also sit and think about how I got to this point and can't help smiling as I think a family conversation we had this past week. At one point Tim turned to me and said, "Do you realize that a year ago you and I moved in together after only dating 3 months? What were we thinking?" Which led to a conversation about getting married quickly. Which led to us reminding the children that we got engaged after only a few months, but sheesh, it's been a whole year and FOUR months since we started dating now....
I'm sure many people are thinking we are crazy. Heck, we admit we are a little crazy (okay, maybe a lot). But there is one thing we are both sure of. We are crazy about each other. When we met with Tim's priest to discuss marriage and our future together and our marriage together a common theme kept coming up. Love. I think what is different for a couple at our stage in our lives is that we understand what is so important in a relationship and in a marriage. Love. Not winning every argument. Not who left the light on, who left their clothes on the floor (*cough* Tim *cough), or the garage door open. Not your own personal wants and needs or getting what you want every time. But love.
Loving your partner enough that you want them to be happy and know that they are loved, every single day. Wanting your partner to wake up knowing they are loved, fall asleep knowing they are loved and even when you argue, knowing that they are loved. It's knowing how lucky you are to have someone to love who loves you back. It's not taking for granted that you have someone who makes you smile but also holds you when you feel like you're falling into a million pieces. It's someone who looks at all the broken, cracked, messed up little parts of you and says, "this is mine and it is shiny and beautiful and I am so blessed to have it." If that takes 2 years, 2 days or 2 months to find, when you find it, grab on to it. Hold on to it and never let society or tradition dictate how fast you make that official. Tim and I may have only know each other 1 year, 140 days, 13 hours and 17 minutes. But my heart has known him and been looking for him for longer than I can remember. And I cannot wait to make our love and our marriage and our future, forever.
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