You mean I'm getting better?

My good friend with anxiety (sisters through mental issues?) said I should write a blog about your anxiety getting better.  She said I should write about all those little signs that show you are dealing, coping, and improving.  She mentioned triumphing over anxiety tics - the little coping skills we have to deal with the nervousness.  Jokingly I said, wait - when have I done that?  Or something equally as clever I'm sure.  She laughed (bahahahaha in text) and commented that she ripped off a nail on something the other day and was devastated.  It was then that she realized that she couldn't remember the last time her nails weren't bleeding from constantly picking at them but here they were - growing long enough to get ripped off.  I love hearing stories like these!  Not bloody fingernail stories - healing stories!  Stories about making it past some anxious behavior.  Not only do they give me hope, but I hope they give any anxiety ridden person hope.  So let's see if I can think of some of my own....

I remember the days when I couldn't eat without getting sick.  Even on Tim and my first date I was worried about eating anything, and we were at Red Lobster, because I didn't want to feel sick for the movie later.  It was a great diet plan, not too great for dating though.  I don't remember if it was all of  a sudden, but I know that I noticed it all of a sudden. Eating stopped being something to worry about when it stopped making me sick.

And then there was Dt MD, it also caused me troubles when I was already anxious.  The anxiety combined with the caffeine in Dt MD would send my heart racing and my anxiety through the roof.  The last few months of my relationship with the narcissist I couldn't drink Dt MD without knowing I would have to deal with my anxiety worsening to the point where I could barely stand it.  Luckily, or unluckily, that started to melt away and I went back to my waking up with the Dew bad habit.

I'm not a nail biter, but I did play a lot of Solitaire on my phone.  At some point I discovered that when I was playing Solitaire it required my concentration and I couldn't dwell on what was upsetting, or causing, my anxiety.  I played a lot of Solitaire, especially when I would try to fall asleep.  Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and have to play several games of Solitaire just to fall asleep.  Judging from the fact that I fell asleep at 7:00 trying to watch a movie last night and the fact that I just had to check my phone to see if I even still had the app, I guess you could take that as a sign I'm actually getting better.

I don't have to take medication any more for my anxiety, I was on two at one point.  I don't have to take medication to sleep.  I don't find myself having to use breathing exercises (except before I do a pattern at a horse show) or listen to meditation videos on youtube just to fall back asleep or relax.  In fact, judging from my ability to take a nap at the drop of a hat, I think I may just have the relaxing thing down.

Okay - so looking back, I have made some pretty big strides.  I still have my moments.  Hyper vigilance, is a hard habit (or symptom) to kick.  But hey - Tim can be on his phone without me freaking out.  That's something!  Please share your success stories!  The more the better.  How are you beating anxiety?