To spray or not to spray...

So.  Today was kind of a big day.  I got my first ever spray tan.  Why you may ask?  Well... because the only time I am outside in the sun is when I am working in my yard or working or riding my horse, I am always in a racerback tank. So I have beyond interesting tan lines and umm.. a wedding coming up in less than a month.  What to do?  A girl could "lay out".  But this brings back too many memories of sun in, baby oil and sunburns that would rival any self respecting lobster tail being served at Joe's Crab Shack.  Plus, what self respecting mom has time to lay out.  The whole time I would be thinking about what needed cleaning and what I had left to do.  So that was out.

I tried those sunless tanning lotions and that kind of worked, but it was so hard to reach that spot between my shoulder blades.  Like impossible hard.  So that wasn't going to work.  I searched for tank tops that didn't have racer backs, but every self respecting sports bra for these sisters still does so that didn't help much.

What's a bride to do?  I contacted my maid of honor and she had the name,  number and recommendation for a spray tan location.  Mind you, she hadn't been, but had heard good things.  So I volunteered myself and immediately started having flashbacks to the episode of Friends where Ross gets a spray tan.  If you haven't watched, please take a moment....

Friends episode: Ross gets a spray tan

So, being me, of course I asked the gal if she had ever seen "the" episode of Friends.  And she laughed and quoted a few lines which of course led me to realize that I have found my soulmate.  And helped eliminate a lot of my nervousness because...brace yourself... contrary to what you see in that very special episode of Friends, this is not a booth with no one else in it.  The people actually spray you  By hand.  In person.  That was freaking me out.

Now, I've had two kids.  And with Libby and her 29 1/2 hours of labor (Yes Libby - I do have to bring that up and complain about it yes again), I saw every nurse, doctor and nurse in training that OMC had to offer at that time.  And in a lot more compromising positions that just getting a spray tan.  But... I was still freaking out.  Of course the gal doing my spray tan was young, fit and quite good looking.  And here I was, middle aged mom with a belly and a host of scars, well everywhere.  What a woman won't do for beauty right?

So after I got the low down on scrubbing and rubbing the exfoliator off and properly disrobed and entered the booth, I was ready as I would ever be.  As she was spraying me, I can't lie.  I got the giggles.  And it took so much self control not to burst out giggling.  I was picturing the conversation that my bestie and I would have had if I had been able to drag her along.  There were different positions she wanted to hold my hands, arms and legs and I couldn't help but feel that I was doing some kind of weird spray tan cheer routine.  Jazz hands!

After two light coats, picture spray painting a car, I was ready for blotting and then able to get dressed and get the run down on what not to do if I didn't want to look like a blotchy monster.  Been a long day of trying not to touch my arms, let my legs touch or stick to anything and trying not to sweat.  But so far I'm really happy with how it turned out.  We will see how horrific those tan lines look later.  But the good news is that this red head isn't burnt and still looks less like the glowing white girl with freckles and zinc oxide on her nose.  For a trial run, I'm going to count this a success.