Grandma Pokey was not only loved by her many many house cats, she took in and fed every stray in the neighborhood. I remember the great joy she took and how she knew each of their personalities, no matter how wild and crazy they seemed to the rest of us. One cat of hers will always stick in my memory. I think for the first several years I thought it's name was Made Rite. Turns out the mean bugger was lucky to be alive so she had named it Made It. Now Grandma never made fun of me for thinking she named her cat after sloppy joe mix, but the rest of the family took great delight in my mistake.
Whenever we would talk about Shannon's Grandma Pokey everyone had to ask, why is her name Pokey? You would think it had something to do with speed. Not our Grandma Pokey. She was anything but Pokey. She was an extremely hard working, strong lady who got a lot of things done. She was a nurse for years and made the best homemade salve that cured... well everything. Every year she hosted Christmas and Easter, but not only did she make the food for her entire family to enjoy, complete with appetizers, she also sent everyone home with a box of mixed baked goods and hams, from breads to cookies, bars, you name it. You never left Grandma's hungry and it lasted for the weeks to follow. Libby and I were talking about all of our favorites that would be missed for the holidays to come. Some that we will miss the most are her pistachio bread, her pea salad and gosh darn those amazing Rice Krispie bars with caramel inside. And of course, Libby remembered her homemade mints. She said those mints started her love of everything mint and she will never forget eating so many of them at Jordana's graduation that she almost made herself sick. She was a little teary eyed wondering how she was going to have grandma's good mints at her graduation, but I told her we would be sure to make some together. And hopefully grandma will give us a little guiding hand from heaven (because candy making is not my talent)!
No, the real story behind her nickname was that her little grandbabies couldn't pronounce Grandma Pankow and it came out sounding like Pokey. So Pokey it was from then on out. And that's the kind of fun sense of humor and kind hearted person she was. None of the grandbabies or many great grandbabies ever had a problem saying Grandma Pokey.
As we drove to Postville today to remember her at her visitation with family, we passed the houses we would always go driving by to view the Christmas lights. Every Christmas Eve Grandma would kick us all out after supper to go see the Christmas lights and somehow, through the miracle of Christmas, Santa always came to bring the presents while we were gone. Grandma Pokey remembered everyone. Everyone got a little present to open along with a card with cash. And she always remembered you on every single holiday. Not just your birthday. Valentine's, Halloween, Mother's Day, there was always that card in the mail with the familiar handwriting on it and a dollar bill just for you inside. My last card just came a few weeks ago. Grandma wasn't able to come to my wedding, but she didn't forget me and Tim and I got a beautiful card, with the sweetest message, which I will treasure all the more for years to come.
I know some of you are sitting there and shaking your heads in wonder, asking yourself, wait - isn't this her EX'S grandma? Yes. Grandma Pokey is Shannon's mom's mom. But you see, she was my Grandma Pokey too. For 17+ years. And even after the divorce, she treated me no differently. If that doesn't give you an idea of the huge and loving heart she had, I don't know what will. She made sure that I knew that I was always part of her family and I was so blessed to be included as one of "her" grandkids forever. The hardest part of divorce was losing my other half of my family. But that was dumb on my part. If there is anything I learned today, it was that they are and always will be my family. We have way too many stories, way too much history to ever not be family. When the girls and I arrived at the wake we were greeted with open arms, hugs, and yes tears were to be had all the way around. That is truly the way Grandma Pokey would have wanted it. No hurt feelings, no anger or bitterness allowed. There was no room for that at Grandma Pokey's house. Family was family and family was forever.
So tomorrow we will all come together to lay Grandma Pokey to rest. We will celebrate her life and share our stories. We will remember the cats, the treats, the time she tried to "cancel Christmas" due to slippery roads (and I told her she didn't have that kind of power), the grandma kisses on the lips, the pictures she took and the articles she clipped that she thought we would all want to read. We will talk about the squeaky cheese curds she always brought with, the dining room with it's one way path, the bird clock, the cat motion detector, and Grandma's love of country music.
Grandma Pokey was always thinking of others and most of the time she was thinking of her loved ones. If anyone ever made you feel loved, special and wanted, it was Grandma Pokey. You never had to wonder or guess. Moving forward is going to be hard for all who loved her, but the most wonderful thing is that Grandma Pokey left behind a legacy of caring family members who will always be there for each other. That is how we will all get through.
So Kathy, Blaine, Butch, Kenny, Jordana, Mandy, Josh, Corey, Lindsey, Shannon and all your significant others and little ones; hold tight to each other, hold tight to your memories and hold tight to what Grandma Pokey taught you about kindness, family and forgiveness. That is how you will move forward and keep her alive in your hearts forever.
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