One year. It’s been one year since that scary drive to Rochester to meet someone I had been talking with for a few days, but still terrified to meet. I shared that whole “online dating” story several months ago so I won’t rehash all of it for you. But boy was I nervous. And I told him. He kept reassuring me there was nothing to worry about, but well, asking an anxious person not to worry is like asking a squirrel to stay out of your bird feeder. (Just made up that analogy - share it with your families. I think it will stick around.) Even though we had “met” for a quick second at a basketball game days before, I still had horror stories of women meeting axe murders while online dating playing in the back of my head.
We met at Red Lobster and had an amazing dinner. Almost right away Tim put me at ease and we were able to talk and talk and talk. We went to a movie. Knowing how much he hates action/adventure now I’m so impressed that he sat through and didn’t get bored out of his mind at London Has Fallen, or fall asleep. We had a second date a few days later and I kept telling myself it was just for fun and I would see other people. Heck - I even made a date with someone. And then Tim came and sat through a choir/band performance. And not even a concert - a competition. With long boring concert pieces, that's impressive. And well, I was talking with Libby about him the next day. I remember saying that he was just too nice to be real. And her reply, very Libby like and true to her, “you’ve done crazy and mean, how about you try nice for once.” Out of the mouths of babes as they say. I cancelled my other date and the rest, as they say, is history.
Looking back on the past year, I know we did everything “wrong”. We dated exclusively after a week. We introduced our kids after only 2 weeks. My girls and I went to his family Easter after only a few more weeks. I moved in and moved my family within a few months. We were engaged after only dating a little over 3 months. And on and on… There is no way to explain it and there is no way to tell you how we just knew it was right. But it WAS just right and we knew.
I know the day will come when we will have a fight. I’m not sure how long the “honeymoon phase” is going to last, but I also know that everything that has happened in my life prior to meeting Tim has prepared me to appreciate what a truly amazing man, father, fiance he is. There were former versions of myself that would not have been able to be as thankful as I am for all of the little things he says and does every single day to show me that I’m important to him and that he loves me. That appreciation, that knowing what life was like, could be like, makes me so thankful to be with someone as caring, loving and kind as Tim.
I was talking with a friend who had also been through a damaging relationship and how we both felt that a person could feel sorry for themselves and all “poor me”, or they could choose to look at what they had learned from the experience and how they could become a better person because of it. Whenever I tell Tim that I wish I had met him sooner so that I could have loved him longer, he reminds me of this. He reminds me that we went through what we did so that we would appreciate and understand each other better. That we met each other when we were ready for each other and that the important thing is that we have each other now. Did I mention he’s pretty smart too?
So one year with Tim. And I couldn’t be luckier. He does all the stuff that a loving husband is supposed to do. He helps with laundry and dinner and chores. He helps me clean. He takes care of things and takes care of me (I love not having to put gas in my vehicle!). He spoils me with unexpected treats like a Dt MD in the cupholder or Cadbury eggs on the seat. But it’s more than that. It’s how he patiently helps my girls with their homework - even when the little one is not very nice about it. It’s how he is always so steadfast, patient, solid when my world is in a turmoil. It’s that he’s the one I rush home to because I know that no matter how bad my day was, once he’s holding me it will all be better. It’s how he makes me laugh at the stupidest things. It’s how he makes me want to be a better person and inspires me to be stronger in my faith. It’s how he is by my side and supports me in everything, but challenges me to think about the other side at times too. It’s how he says “I love you” a dozen times a day, but shows me a dozen more.
Here’s to the first anniversary. The first year of many more to come. The first of forever.
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