Older and Wiser

Okay, so I have a birthday coming up and I’m not excited about it.  For a lot of reasons, but some of them are the cold hard reality that I am “old”.  My favorite songs are officially on the oldies stations, my childhood toys are “vintage” and I hit that milestone last year, complete with the black flowers and over the hill jokes.  I have a younger fiance who likes to say “must have been before my time”.  You know, because he is three WHOLE years younger than me.  So, let’s just say I’m not excited about the official year older birthday coming up.

But there are some positives to getting older.  A Facebook friend shared a status the other day that really struck a chord with me.  Some of the things in this status are exactly the kinds of things I have been trying to share with my own kids and get them to understand.  I realize that I had to learn the hard way, but I sure wish my kids from learn from my example (albeit, not always a good one).  The first part of the status went as follows….

“As we grow older, and hence wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or a $30.00 watch - - they both tell the same time. Whether we carry a $300 or a $30.00 wallet/handbag - - the amount of money inside is the same. Whether we drink a bottle of $300 or $15 wine - - the hangover is the same. Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq. ft. - - loneliness is the same. Whether you drive a $8,000 Honda or a $80,000 Benz --they both serve the same purpose. You will realize, your true inner happiness does not come from the MATERIAL things of this world.

Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, have sung songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth - - That is true happiness!!”

This one took me way too long to figure out.  I’ve always been more of the Goodwill/clearance rack type of shopper, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t wish I could afford the others.  I remember as a teen wanting that pair of Girbaud or Guess jeans, Tommy Hilfiger or anything other than Shopko brand.  As an adult it was wanting the fancy horse trailer, the nicer camper, the embarrassment over our home.  It took me starting over again to really realize what was important.  All that “stuff” didn’t make me happy.  If you’re constantly striving to have the newest and best, guess what - even when you get it, it fixes nothing, solves nothing and doesn’t make you happy.  In fact, I remember getting my first Coach purse and returning it (ended up having to exchange it because they wouldn’t let me return it).  I was HORRIFIED by how much it cost.  Who needs a $300 purse?  For $300 it had better MAKE me money, not just hold my money.  I can buy a hell of a lot of groceries for $300.   

Tim will sometimes tell me that he wishes he could buy me some of the things I want like a home in the country, a new truck or trailer, etc…  I always have the same response, “I have everything because I have you and our kids in my life.”  And I’m not just saying that.  Sure those things would be nice, they may even make our lives easier, but they wouldn’t make me happy.  Because I have found that you can lose those things and guess what - I’m still here and I’m still happy.  

I wish I could get all my girls to understand this.  Sophie was saying the other day that she feels embarrassed because her clothes aren’t all Pink, Nike or whatever the current name brand fad is.  I tried to tell her that looking back on my high school days, I cannot tell you who wore what.  I can’t tell you who had the nicest clothes or picture one damn thing they wore.  I mean, really, we all looked pretty ridiculous in rolled jeans and big hair.  What I do remember is the people who made me feel like crap, the people who made me feel like my Shopko jeans weren’t good enough, the people who let me know that they thought they were better than I was because of what I spent on clothes.  That is not how I want my kids to be remembered.  I want their classmates to look back and remember them for being kind, being helpful and being fun to hang out with.

Another part of the status shared some undeniable facts of life. (Does anyone else from my era have the theme song to Facts of Life in your head yet?  “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the …..  There now you do, you’re welcome.)

SIX UNDENIABLE FACTS OF LIFE:

1. Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things not the price.

2. Best awarded words: "Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food."

3. The one who loves you will never leave you because even if there are 100 reasons to give up he or she will find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few really understand it.

5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage!

6. If you just want to Walk Fast, Walk Alone! But if you want to Walk Far, Walk Together!

While these 6 facts are completely random and all over the board, each has their core in the truth about what you learn over the years.  1 - we were just talking about this, 2 - there are no magic patches or pills, eat right and exercise to stay healthy, 3 - and it may take you several failed tries to find “the one”, 4 - truth, 5 - to be loved you need to be loving, 6 - everything is better when done together.  

The last part of the status on Facebook listed the six best “doctors” in the world.  It’s a list of the things we all take for granted and don’t spend enough time concentrating on.  We are always looking for the quick fix, the easy solution.  There are no easy solutions, the following list is pretty self explanatory and believe me, they are doable.  All you have to do is want to try.  

SIX BEST DOCTORS IN THE WORLD:

1. Sunlight

2. Rest

3. Exercise

4. Diet

5. Self Confidence and

6. Friends

Maintain them in all stages of Life and enjoy a healthy life.

The last line of the status was a quote that I have heard before and never really thought about.  Looking at it, reading it and really thinking about it brought me to a realization that this is probably one of the key parts of getting older and wiser.  It says, “The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.”  You do reach a certain part of your life when you think to yourself, I’m done waiting.  I’ve spent too much of my life waiting.  Time to live my life, as is, right here in the moment and enjoy my life as is, right here, in the moment.