Why chickens? Is that even a question? If it is, it shouldn’t be. There has been a strong push from all of the family members to get chickens at our house. Yes, you heard me. I finally live where I can have chickens. And I don’t have any. YET. I finally have the coop, the feeders, the waterer, the food, the .... You name it, we are THIS close to being ready. But I still don't think Tim gets it. He is grudgingly going along with it because he loves me and well, he spoils me. But really "why chickens?" Obviously he doesn’t understand how much I loved my chickens, right folks?
Those of you that know me, know that my chickens were the most loved members of our hobby farm. Just ranking below our ponies and maybe above some of our dogs. Heck, many of you probably remember that one of our precious pooches had to find a new good home when he discovered that killing chickens was “oh so fun”. Yes, I chose my chickens over my dog. I’m THAT person. For the record he’s very happy on a dairy farm near Eyota, much happier than he would have been than running around with a rotting chicken tied to his neck. And yes, that was the fairly commonly given solution to chicken killing dogs.
So, maybe I just need to convince Tim that I don’t just want chickens in my life, I NEED them. Apparently whining isn’t working. I guess I have to resort to reasoning. What is this world coming to?
#1: Eggs good for you and fresh eggs are the best. Until you have tried fresh eggs, you will have no idea how old your store bought eggs really are. It literally would take our fresh eggs a couple weeks to taste, look and cook like store bought eggs. We also had really good layers. Nice big eggs, some double yolks, and fun colors. Because I raised some Ameraucana hens we had eggs in brown and white, but we also had blue, green and even shades of pink. Fresh eggs make the best baked goods, hands down. But also make everything better that you cook with them. And good layers produce more than the average family can eat. Even though we could only have 3 chickens, I’m not worried about us having enough eggs.
#2: Free fertilizer. Cleaning the coop is a good way to add valuable fertilizer to your flower beds and gardens, without having to pay a cent. Two birds with one stone. Wait - that isn’t really a pun, I promise.
#3: Pest control/weed control. Chickens can eat their weight in bugs. I know that the insect problem on our farm went way down when we had our free range chickens. They did a fabulous job of keeping the bugs down. People swear by them for weed control as well. I’m not sure about that? We still had plenty of weeds on the farm but I’m putting it here because, well, it helps my case and sounds good. So weed control it is.
#4: Therapy animal. You know how dogs can be therapy animals? And how cats can be? And they are even using pet pigs now as therapy animals. Chickens are great pets and therapy animals as well. Many breeds of chicken are super loving, gentle and enjoy spending time with their families. Sophie had this big buff orpington hen. She carried that poor hen around the farm with her all the time. And Sparkle loved it. You got it - her name was Sparkle. Well, Sparkle Fishy Sophia Karen Onsager for her full name. But Sophie called her Sparkle for short. And she was much loved. Chickens are incredibly soft and yes, almost cuddly. My favorite was when the hens had a little flock of babies and would try to hide them all under her wings. They are the cutest mothers on the planet.
#5. Entertainment: Chickens are a blast to watch. I used to literally sit in my lawn chair and watch my chickens and their antics. They are so funny to watch establish and hold their social hierarchy. And when they get a treat and go from being excited to stealing treats from each other it is so comical. As I’ve said, baby chicks are the most fun to watch, but even adult chickens can provide plenty of entertainment. For fun, shuck a little sweet corn and watch your chickens have a blast. They truly are a beautiful bird too. They come in so many different astounding colors and patterns. We ordered a mixed batch of the “top hat assorted chicks” once from the hatchery. We really had some fun ones grow up on the farm that summer. We also did a rare breed mix. Those were fantastic and really amazing to watch mature. But even the feather footed, the silkies, the banties and the wyandottes can be a vast array of different feathered beauty. Watch chickens sometime, you will understand. Millions of people around the world tune into the various eagle cams every year to watch an eagle sit on a nest and turn it’s head this way and that for hours at a time. Or how about a giraffe that just paced around her stall for over a month and every time she went to pee or switched her tail, people were sure she was giving birth. I guess maybe watching chickens doesn’t sound so dumb now, does it?
#6. Inspiration for writing material: I literally wrote a book after watching my chickens and ducks/geese over a few years. I never sent it off to be illustrated or published, but I am sure it was an award winner. It might have even been an infamous “coffee table book”, but maybe not one you could leave out when the little were around. It’s title was “Chicken Shit and Other Fowl Language”. I really should dig that book out again. It amused me at least.
#7: Chicken is tasty: Okay - so for the record, I don’t know if I could have eaten any of my hens. I mean, I knew that I should be willing to once they stopped laying, but I don’t think I could have. I did not have any qualms about eating some of the nasty roosters. I may have even been the one to chop the head off one particularly violent and aggressive asshole. Otherwise I was a big fan of dropping them off alive at the Amish and picking up my bags of ready to cook chicken a week later. And they were delicious. And I knew that they were well fed, safe to eat, and as organic as a diet of bugs, grass and corn can keep a chicken. So sure - chicken is tasty and I will totally butcher my hens if they stop laying. (Crosses fingers and toes so the lies don’t count.)
So… Seven very legitimate excuses, crap - REASONS, why we need chickens. I think that even the most stubborn of hearts should be able to see that we need chickens at our house. Maybe it will be like my dog and he will learn to love them.
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