Tell them you love them

Just a few days ago we attended the funeral for one of my good friend’s husbands.  He was just barely 40 and was taken from the world way too soon.  Too young, too full of life, too many loved ones left behind, with too much yet to give to the world.  He had made my friend the happiest I had ever seen her and he was her soulmate. They were so good together and I was so happy for her as she had  finally found the right guy.  And then he was taken from her so soon.  It didn’t seem fair.  I didn’t know Tony, had never met him, but as family members and friends shared their thoughts and feelings and stories, I came to know him and I cried for, not only their loss, but for everyone’s loss who never would get to know such an amazing person.  

Of all the things that I took away from Tony’s funeral, one of the things that really stuck with me and still sticks with me today, was that Tony asked those who visited him in hospice to share their favorite memories of him.  It brought me back to my mom’s goodbye’s when she was in hospice and reminded me how my first instinct was to apologize for every wrong that I had done.  As I was the youngest and had gone last to talk with her, she commented that she didn’t know why we all felt that we had to apologize for anything.  Everyone makes mistakes, but that we had all loved her and she knew she was loved.  That was what mattered.  And she wanted all of us to know that we were all loved and would always be loved as well.  

My mom and Tony reminded me of something that I hope I don’t have to come to my end of life to remember to do.  I hope that others will learn from both of them and do this as well.  But let’s share our love with those around us.  Not just when something bad has happened.  Not just when they do something for us.  Not just when we are scared, or hurt, or thankful, but every day and as often as possible.  

I’ve blogged before about not writing letters for your loved ones to read after you’re gone.  Write them and give them to them today.  Give them one next week.  Give them one every damn day if you can.  Tell them you love them, appreciate them, are thankful for them, even when you’re mad or frustrated with them.  Be thankful you have someone in your life to be frustrated with.  Life is too short to hold grudges, play games and get back at people.  Be you, be strong, but never forget to tell people that you love them for who they are are too.   Tomorrow may be too late.  Not everyone gets a chance at final goodbyes.

I’d write more but I’m off to write my letters to my loved ones.  So here’s your daily reminder to write yours as well.